Archives July 2024

by Ben BeEssen

Dr. Gregory Gregg has been practicing medicine in The Valley for about 35 years now. Generations of Valleyans have trusted Dr. Gregg with their health. He’s loved and well respected by just about everyone in The Valley. Recently, he’s seeing a disturbing trend among young Valley males. More and more adolescent and teen boys are having head and neck issues.

Dr. Gregg said, “This is a disturbing trend among the young males that I’ve been seeing. Mom will bring in a young male, and they’ll be complaining about neck pain or headaches. Many of the boys are having concussion like symptoms. At first, I was baffled by the increase in these ailments. My first thought was too much screen time; I thought the boys looking down at screens for long periods of time could be the issue. But, I ruled that out after seeing a few young male patients. Next, I thought it could be long covid, something in the water, chemtrails, or something else. I also noticed that it was only males; no females were coming in with these issues. But, over the past few months I think I’ve discovered the issue. Now, we’re going to have to educate parents and the young males about the cause and how to prevent these issues.”

Dr. Gregg finally discovered the issue was “Bama bangs” or “frat boys bangs.” These young males like to have long flowing bangs, because that’s the cool hairstyle these days. The problem is the hair continues to get in their eyes and face, and they have to continually shake their head to get the hair out of their eyes and face. In many of Dr. Gregg’s young male patients, this is causing head and neck problems.

Dr. Gregg said, “Many of these boys have big heads, and their brains aren’t fully developed. A young male that has a developing brain can cause concussion like symptoms by repeatedly shaking his head. Also, our heads are pretty heavy. So, a young male can develop neck issues as well by repeatedly shaking his head.”

Dr. Gregg has some recommendations for young Valley males and their parents. These recommendations probably aren’t going to be popular among the boys though. If the parents take Dr. Gregg’s advice, the hairstyles of young Valley males are going to look a lot different.

Dr. Gregg said, “These Valley boys aren’t gonna want to hear this, but it needs to be done. All these Valley boys need to cut their hair; they all need to do flat tops or buzz cuts. I had one for years when I was young and when I was in the military. I turned out ok, and I didn’t have any head or neck issues. Cut your darn hair boys!”

Valley boys and their moms aren’t happy about Dr. Gregg’s recommendation. One 14 year old Valley boy said, “I love my Bama bangs. They have helped me pickup more than one girl. I ain’t cutting them; I guess I’ll just have to deal with a sore neck. One Valley mom said, “I can’t cut Little Ethan’s bangs; I just can’t do it. They are so cute. It would kill me to have them cut.”

Dr. Gregg has made some Valleyans upset about his recommendation, but he has a duty to help his patients and Valleyans. We’ll see if Valley moms and their sons take Dr. Gregg’s advice, but I have my doubts.

by Ima Phibber

The Valley has been doing well lately. Businesses are popping up all over the place. People are moving to The Valley. There’s a buzz, and it’s contagious. But, one thing that has been sorely lacking is a lifestyle magazine. Many cities, regions, and popular destinations have lifestyle magazines that highlight attractions, food, and movers and shakers in those places. Some local examples would be Stages, Northside Sun, and Hometown Magazines, and some regional examples would be Mississippi Magazine, South Mississippi Living, and the goat- Southern Living. But, Valleyans should be excited because a lifestyle magazine is coming, and it’s going to be called Valley Living.

Emma Embellischer and I have been talking about the need for a lifestyle magazine for a while now. We brought up the idea to SRVO management a few months back, and they liked the idea. Management gave us the go ahead, and they gave us some parameters and guidelines. Emma and I have been working on the details for a couple months now. We decided to name the magazine Valley Living, and it will be a subsidiary of the SRVO. The magazine will be published quarterly, and the first issue will be ready next week.

Valley Living will highlight the homes and mobile homes, food, gardens, workshops and more of the fine people of The Valley. Each issue will showcase the home or mobile home of a Valley family, the shop/workshop of a Valley man, the work a Valleyan that works with his/her hands, and the garden of a Valleyan. Valley women will also share recipes and cooking techniques. There will also be a travel ball mom spotlight in each issue; the moms will discuss the joys and challenges of being a travel ball mom.

We’re very excited to bring this quarterly magazine the great people of the Valley. It’s going to show real, authentic, normal people unlike some of these uppity lifestyle magazines. It will be free of charge; we’ll distribute the magazines to multiple businesses and organizations across the Valley. It will also be a great place for local businesses to advertise, so please contact me or Emma about advertising opportunities. We get a commission for the advertisers we secure, so don’t contact the SRVO office. Make sure you get your girls paid!

by Emma Embellischer

The Valley has been buzzing lately. Growth and development is happening at a breakneck pace. Many Valleyans have been concerned that the growth and development could harm the natural beauty of The Valley. There has been a lot of talk among city and county officials in The Valley lately about ways to preserve some of The Valley for generations to come. The Strong River Valley Transportation Authority (SRVTA) voted at its latest board meeting to create a scenic highway or byway called 40B.

SRVTA board chairman, Mehate Teslaz, made the announcement yesterday at a press conference, and he was excited about the byway. Teslaz said, “We are super excited about 40B. We’ve been working on this project for some time now, and we’re ecstatic to get this project up and running. We got the go ahead with MDOT a couple weeks ago, and we secured millions in federal funding as well. This highway will be the Federal Highway Administration’s latest scenic byway, and it’s going to do a ton to showcase The Valley.”

The byway will meander approximately 8 miles along the Strong River and Hwy. 13 and Hwy. 43. It will start northeast of Mendenhall and end southwest of Mendenhall, and it will cross Hwy. 13, Hwy. 43, and the Strong River multiple times. The SRVTA set aside approximately 2 miles of the byway that will remain untouched and not open for development. Approximately $10 million was allocated for an interpretive center that will educate visitors about the flora and fauna of The Valley. There will be pulloffs with picnic tables and restrooms along 40B. There will also be boardwalks along some swampy areas including the infamous The Bottoms Swamp, and this will attract bird watchers from across the country.

Teslaz said, “We named the byway 40B because we envision The Valley to be bigger and better than 30A in North Florida. Some people will think we’re delusional, but I have a lot of faith in the SRVTA and the residents of The Valley. Just wait 30A! Give us 5-7 years, and you’ll see 40B stickers on all the Mercedes, BMW, and Lexus SUVs! We’ll have the sun and sand without the shark attacks.”

The SRVTA thinks the national scenic byway designation will bring in visitors from all across the U.S. Teslaz said, “40B will be the third scenic byway in MS, so that’s a big deal.”

The SRVTA board expects development along 40B to be huge. Two recent developments will be on 40B, and they should provide anchors to build and develop around- The Valley National Golf Club and Strong River Valley Camping Resort & Spa. Board members told me to expect multiple businesses and developments to pop up along 40B including a RV park, a gated mobile home park, a bait shop, farmers market, small condos, a fishing and noodling outfitter, a catfish restaurant, an indoor shooting range, a mini golf course, and more.

I talked to multiple Valleyans about 40B, and they were all ecstatic. One said, “I own land on the river, and I’m seeing dollar signs right now baby! Cha ching!” Another Valleyan said, “This is so exciting. I can’t wait to get my 40B window sticker and t-shirt. 30A ain’t got nothing on 40B baby! This is going to put The Valley on the map!”

This is definitely a watershed moment for The Valley. Construction on 40B will begin within the next couple months. The SRVO will keep you updated on the construction and development of 40B in the coming months.

by Pullyn Mylegg

Valley City always has a big community event on July 4th, and this year was no different. City officials estimated there to be 700- 800 people in attendance. Everyone was very festive, and people were decked out in red, white, and blue. It was Americana at its finest. There are always multiple events scheduled, and the fireworks show is always the highlight of the event. But, this year city officials planned a drone show instead of a fireworks show.

The festivities this year included a catfish filet eating contest, sweet tea chugging contest, and some vendor booths. There also was a cousin reveal station. There were representatives there from a company similar to 23andMe that had the capability to rapid genetic testing. They encouraged people to give saliva samples, and they did the cousin reveal at 7:00. Multiple people found out they were indeed cousins. The Huckabees, a married couple, found out they were actually 2nd cousins. They are from Alabama, so that’s all you need to know. One lady, who will remain anonymous, discovered that her dad was not actually her biological father. Her biological father was in attendance, and his name will remain anonymous as well. He was not informed about this revelation. She left the event very upset, and her mother has some explaining to do.

The catfish fillet eating contest was a hit. There were 8 contestants, and they had 10 minutes to eat as many filet as possible. All contestants had to sign a waiver saying they wouldn’t sue if they swallowed a bone. The catfish fillets were provided by Ricky’s on the River. Johnny Blue was the winner by one fillet; he at 39 fillets.

The sweet tea chugging contest was a hit as well. 7 contestants had one minute to chug as many 12 ounce cups of sweet tea as possible. Milo “Red” Diamond won the contest by chugging 11 cups of tea. It wasn’t really close; the next closest competitor only drank 8 cups.

The Dirtdobbers were performing live music at the event. At 7:30, everything was halted and everyone sat in their lawn chairs and listened to the Dirtdobbers. They performed multiple patriotic songs including “America the Beautiful” and “God Bless the USA.” It was a moving moment as attendees waved American flags during “America the Beautiful.” After the patriotic songs, the highlight of the event began- the drone show.

The smart kids from Valley Prep’s tech department did the drone show. It was amazing! The coordination of all the red, white, and blue drones was impressive. They formed multiples shapes and formations including an American flag which drew a big applause. The drone show was almost finished, and a couple drones were knocked out of the sky. Evidently, an owl did not like the red drones, and he/she attacked a couple and they fell to the ground, and one of the drones almost landed on an elderly lady.

The year’s Valley City July 4th Celebration was a great event. The cousin reveal and drone show were very interesting. I’m not sure the cousin reveal people will be invited back next year, but we’ll see. The SRVO will be there next year reporting on this great annual event.