Archives November 2023

by B. S. Ryter

Strong River Bend (SRB) announced at their recent board meeting that they will be installing traffic cameras to assist the SRB Police Department (SRBPD) with dealing with traffic violations. SRB has a busy 4-way stop with hundreds of drivers passing through daily. SRBPD does a good job with the few resources that they have, but these cameras will be a big asset for the department.

Police chief, Andy Fife, is excited about the cameras. He said, “We do the best we can keeping SRB a safe place, but it’s not easy. We do a lot of roadblocks to catch DUIs and drivers with no license or expired licenses, and we give a lot of tickets for tag lights, headlights, and taillights being out. But, we don’t write many tickets for drivers that fail to stop at the 4-way; that will change with the new traffic cameras. You better make sure you stop at the SRB 4-way!”

The new traffic cameras will be fixated on the 4-way stop exclusively. SRB is not disclosing the location of the cameras for fear that residents will try to destroy the cameras. SRB felt like they were missing out on a lot of revenue by not writing more tickets at the 4-way, and the cameras should help alleviate that issue and increase revenue to the town. SRB Mayor Gus Easyspirit said, “We think these cameras will make SRB a safer place, and they will be a major revenue generator for our town. We’re excited the impact they’re going to have on our annual budget.”

The high resolution cameras will read the tags of drivers that come through the 4-way. Drivers that fail to stop will be mailed a ticket based on their tag info. SRBPD simply has to sit back and collect that revenue. Chief Fife said, “Tickets for failure to stop at the 4-way will be $75. These cameras will free up time for our officers to patrol and make our town safer.”

Many SRB and Valley residents are not happy about the cameras. One resident said, “This is crazy! How much did the cameras cost? They didn’t disclose that. I guess I’ll avoid the 4-way from now on, but if I do come through there, I’ll probably flip the cameras off.” Another resident said, “What are the police officers going to do now? Sit in their patrol cars and play Words with Friends, CandyCrush, or scroll through Facebook all the time? This is outrageous, and it violates my right to a rolling stop! I’m going to find these cameras and either shoot them or cut the cords. Bet!”

The cameras will be installed in the next few weeks. Most SRB residents aren’t happy about it, but they do realize it should help the town’s budget. We’ll check back a year from now to see how they impacted SRB’s budget.

by Ben BeEssen

Valley City is undergoing a street paving project right now, and most of the town’s streets have been repaved. The residents are very happy about the upgrades. But, the project on Mendenhall Blvd. has been halted, because the work crew uncovered some artifacts under the street.

Part of Mendenhall Blvd. adjacent to Simpson St. had to be excavated, and the dirt had to be replaced. While the crew was working, they uncovered a treasure trove of old artifacts. The artifacts include gold coins, gold trinkets, gold jewelry and more. Valley City authorities immediately called the MS Archaeological Society to assess the situation, and the paving project was halted. The area was cordoned off, and law enforcement officers are now stationed there 24/7.

The archaeology project is headed by Jones Indiana. Indiana has a ton of experience will archaeological projects all across Mississippi. I was able to spend some time with Indiana at the site. He said, “This is a huge deal, and we are super excited about this project. This is one of the most significant discoveries in MS in a long time. Initially, we thought it might have been from the famous Spanish explorer Hernando de Soto and his crew that traveled across MS and the Southeast. But, after a few days of work, we realized that it was not from de Soto and his men.”

Indiana and his crew are almost certain now that these artifacts are from a lesser known Spanish explorer, Pedro de Soto. Pedro was the younger brother of Hernando de Soto. He and his crew explored some of modern day Mexico, and afterwards they sailed to the Gulf Coast and landed close to modern day Biloxi. They arrived about 5 years after Hernando and his crew had explored MS, and they traveled a straight route that would’ve mirrored the current Hwy. 49 layout. Indiana said, “We think Pedro and his men may have traded the gold for food and other goods in the Valley City area with the Six Town Indians.” Pedro and his men are believed to have spent a few weeks living and trading with the Six Towns in the current day Valley City area. Hernando de Soto was the first European to see the MS River, but his brother, Pedro, was the first European to see the Strong River.

Indiana doesn’t know how long this archaeological project will take, but he thinks it will be a minimum of 3 months. Some Valley City residents are not happy about that. Local resident Bubba Diggs said, “Look, they need to dig that crap up and move on. Nobody had ever heard of freakin Pedro de Soto, so no one gives a crap. I don’t like having to drive 1/4 mile out of the way to get to my house. Let’s get this crap over with asap.”

This has brought Valley City and The Valley a lot of publicity, and Indiana thinks there will some type of monument to commemorate this finding in the future that will attract tourists. Despite the publicity, area residents are ready for the project to be completed. They just want their streets to be paved and to get on with life.

by Carl “Bull” Crapper

The drought this year has been extreme. Many Valleyans have said this is the worst drought they can remember. Many farmers are hurting, and the winter is going to be a tough one. It looks like we still have a good bit of misery to go. However, one local business has turned the drought into an opportunity.

Bubba’s Excavation and Well Services, Inc. is killing it right now. Bubba Diggs has owned Bubba’s Excavation and Well Services, Inc. for 20 years, and his business has struggled the past few years. But, Bubba saw an opportunity with the current drought. Bubba, along with many Valleyans, loves to hunt deer. Diggs said, “These deer are looking for water because of the drought, and a light went off in my head. I could build a small pond and dig a well nearby to fill the pond with water, and that would attract deer. I did it for me, and it was an easy job. So, I figured that people would pay me to do it, and I was right!”

Diggs has been swamped with business for the past couple months. Valleyan hunters have been calling Bubba left and right. Diggs can normally do two jobs in a day, and he’s been working 7 days a week. One customer said, “Bubba saved the day! We didn’t know what we were going to do. Now, we’re just gonna sit on our back porch and pick em off by the “pond”. It’s gonna be like shooting fish in a barrel baby!”

Diggs has been able to buy a new bulldozer because of his recent success, and he plans to hire someone to double his business. Diggs also said, “I’m thinking about getting into the taxidermy and deer processing businesses too. Why not? I need to get my business fully vertically integrated, so I can serve all the needs of Valleyan hunters. Maybe, I should sell guns too?”

In addition to building a small pond and digging a well, Diggs will come back after deer season and fill the pond back in like it was never there. They are a full service excavation and well services company. It’s always good to see Valley businesses flourish, and you can always depend on good ole Valleyan ingenuity to save the day.

by Offe Hisczrocher

Fashion is fun and interesting, and it’s always changing. What’s popular this season probably won’t be popular next season. What was popular 15-20 years ago will again be popular one day. Some fashion items from the past were hideous, but what was hideous will be cool at some point. Nowadays, the ladies like showing their skin: short shorts, crop tops, dresses with super high slits, etc. Even the guys like showing off their legs; the shorter the shorts, the more popular they are.

Valley City has had enough of the current fashion trends. At recent board meetings, older residents have been complaining about girls showing too much skin, and one man has even complained about the boys shorts being too short. Older Valley City residents have had enough, so the board of aldermen felt compelled to act. They recently passed an ordinance forbidding certain clothing items. Many Valleyans are calling it the Dress Code.

To summarize, the ordinance outlaws shorts that show buttock skin, crop tops that show midriff skin, skirts that are 10 inches or more above the knee, and dresses with slits 10 inches or more above the knee. The ordinance also bans shorts for males that are 6 inches or more above the knee. Violators that are 18 and older will be hit with a $25 fine. The parents or guardians of under aged kids will be hit with the fine. Second time offenders will be hit with a $250 fine.

The new ordinance is pretty controversial, but the most controversial section of the ordinance relates to females over age 45. Any female over age 45 in violation of the ordinance will immediately be jailed for one night and fined $500. Many feel this goes too far.

One city official said, “Some feel this ordinance goes too far, but we felt we had to do something. The stuff girls are wearing these days is just out of hand. My dad wouldn’t have let me out of the house if I wore what some of these girls are wearing these days. Moms and grandmas are dressing like they’re 16 too. It’s crazy!”

One local female college student we talked with said, “This is insane! What’s next? Sharia law? I should be able to wear what I want; this just goes too far. I guess I won’t be doing any Tiktok or Instagram videos in Valley City anymore. I hate that, because they have the coolest places to make videos. I am so mad! Also, how are they going to enforce this? Are they going to have dress code police in brown shirts walking around with rulers? Do better Valley City!”

It will be interesting to see how the new ordinance is enforced. It shouldn’t be an issue now because of the cooler weather, but enforcement will be ramped up in the spring. The new ordinance goes into effect on Nov. 1st.