by Emma Embellischer

Electric vehicles (EVs) are becoming more popular across the country. Tesla is the leading EV maker in the U.S., but other vehicle manufacturers are making headway in the market. Right now, less than 1% of vehicles in The Valley are EVs, but that number will surely grow over time. EV owners in The Valley got great news this week as a new, state-of-the-art EV charging station is being built in the Leaning Pine community.

E.T. Shockley has been a Tesla owner for 5 years now, and he loves his Tesla. Shockley said, “I was the first person in our area to get a Tesla, and people thought I was crazy. Most still think I’m crazy, but that’s ok. A big problem for us EV owners is a lack of charging stations in rural areas. I decided to change that.” Shockley lives on Hwy. 81 in Leaning Pine in southwest Smith County. His charging station will have 7 charging ports that will fit all EVs.

Shockley said, “EV adoption is going to be slow in The Valley. These people love their gas guzzling trucks and SUVs, and EV owners have a certain stigma. But, I’m doing my part to save our planet. If you build it, they will come right? My goal is to have a mini Buc-ee’s for EV owners.”

Shockley’s facility is going to have a plethora of amenities in addition to the charging station. He’s going to have a coffee shop and restaurant. His signature dishes are going to be the avocado toast and tofu. It will also have a very nice lounge area with televisions and free wifi similar to an airport, and Shockley hopes this will be a magnet for area freelance artists and writers. It will also have a play area for kids.

I talked to a few Leaning Pine residents about the facility. One resident said, “E.T. is full of crap, and he’s wasting his money. Nobody around here drives a stupid EV.” Another area resident said, “I won’t be using his charging station, but I might try the avocado toast. I’ll have to get it to go though; I don’t want any of my buddies seeing me eat it.”

Shockley plans to start construction in the next few weeks. The facility will bring around 10 jobs to the area, and Shockley is excited about that. He said, “I’m glad to bring jobs to The Valley, and I’m glad to do my part to save the planet.” We’ll keep you updated on the facility’s progress in the coming months.

by I. B. Lyon

Pete Pitchlynn and his wife Jan have always had dark skin with a red tint, and both have always wondered if they Native American blood. Pete was even given the nickname of Geronimo as a youngster. Neither ever looked into their heritage until about a year ago. They received 23 and me tests for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day gifts, and they both found out they have Choctaw Indian DNA. They dug a little deeper, and discovered that they’re both 1/16 Choctaw. Jan joked, “I’m more Native American than Elizabeth Warren.”

They started reading Choctaw Indian history, and they found out there was a band of Choctaw Indians that lived in The Valley called the Six Towns. More than likely, Pete’s ancestors were Six Towns. Not long after learning about their Indian heritage and reading about the Six Towns, the Pitchlynns had an epiphany. Pete said, “We can make a fortune. Let’s build a horse racing track and a casino. We can probably get funding because we’re Indians.”

The Pitchlynns made some calls and did some research on tribal lands. They own land on Hwy. 94 in between Six Town Hollow and Valley City, and they were able to get the State of MS and the Choctaw Tribal Council to recognize their property as tribal land. Since it was recognized as tribal land, they could build a horse track and casino. Additionally, the Pitchlynns got the MS Band of Choctaw Indians to finance their venture in exchange for 75% of the profits in perpetuity.

Pete and Jan immediately started planning to build the facility. The planning process has taken about 11 months, but they’re finally ready to start construction this month. Pete said, “The past 11 months have been hectic, but we’re ready to get this party started. We’re so excited to bring this facility to The Valley. It’s going to be called Six Town Downs & Casino.”

The horse track is going to be a mini version of Churchill Downs in Louisville, KY, the home of the Kentucky Derby. The track will seat around 15,000 spectators, and they look to add multiple races. The Pitchlynns hope the horse racing will draw spectators from across the Southeast. Jan said, “The track is going to be sweet! There’s not going to be another facility like it in the state. It’s going to be a big draw.”

The casino is going to be small compared to the casinos on the MS Gulf Coast, Tunica, and the Pearl River Resort in Philadelphia. But, it’s going to have plenty of amenities and gaming options just like the larger casinos in the state.

Both facilities combined expect to add about 75 jobs to The Valley, so the development should have a big economic impact on The Valley. Many residents in The Valley are excited about the development. One resident said, “I can’t wait for this man. I’m going to be able to play blackjack and bet on horse racing in The Valley! This is so awesome!”

The construction is expected to take 12-15 months. Motorists traveling along Hwy. 94 in the coming weeks and months will be able to monitor the progress.

by Ima Phibber

Vacation Bible School is something that Southern Baptist churches have been doing for generations. Many churches go all out with decorations, costumes, and more. The kids can’t wait for VBS each year; they love learning about Jesus, singing, dancing, and doing crafts. The biggest draw of course is the Kool-Aid and cookies. They say you can’t have VBS without Kool-Aid and cookies.

The 2nd Baptist Church of Valley City decided to go all out this year. Many 2nd Baptist members feel like they always play second fiddle to the other churches in the area, and they always have fewer kids at their VBS than other area churches. So, the 2nd Baptist VBS director, Pyra Mayniac, decided to go all out this year for VBS and outdo the other churches in the area. Her VBS budget was quadrupled this year, and she was given carte blanche to do whatever she wanted.

2nd Baptist put up signs advertising VBS all around the community. They ruffled some feathers because they put their signs right next to the Valley City Methodist Church’s (VCMC) signs, and 2nd Baptist’s signs were much larger. 2nd Baptist also rented an ice cream truck, and they traveled around the community offering ice cream to kids if they’d attend VBS. One Valley City resident said, “This is so sad that 2nd Baptist is bribing kids to attend VBS. They’re trying to get parents and grandparents to start coming to their church too. I heard they’re telling adults they don’t have to tithe for 3 months if they start coming to their church. So sad!”

2nd Baptist’s VBS was typical, but the big draw was the nightly fireworks show. It was a big hit. Not only did they have a record number of kids this year, but they also had many people from other area churches attending the nightly fireworks shows. Everything went great until the last night’s fireworks show.

Ms. Mayniac allowed her son to handle the fireworks the final night, and he’d never done it before. He made a mistake of having all the fireworks too close to the church building. About 45 seconds into the show, a bystander noticed that the church had caught fire. The fire was put out before the fire department arrived, but there was a good bit of damage to the sanctuary.

Ms. Mayniac said, “I was on cloud nine because the whole week had gone great. We were finally going to outshine the other churches in the area, and then the fire happened. It was crushing and humiliating. I guess I had gotten a little too proud. As the Bible says, pride cometh before a fall.”

The sanctuary will be restored in the coming weeks, and 2nd Baptist expects the work to take about 8 weeks. In the meantime, VCMC extended an offer to 2nd Baptist to have joint services at their church, and 2nd Baptist has agreed to join them as a sign of unity. Mayniac said, “I’m so glad they’re letting us worship with them; this will help unify our little community. God works in mysterious ways as they say. It’s so good this unfortunate event has a happy ending. But, we won’t be baptizing anyone at VCMC; we dunk, we don’t sprinkle.”

by Ben BeEssen

Bald eagle sightings in The Valley were very rare until recently. A bald eagle has taken up residence in the dome of the Simpson County Courthouse of all places. County employees noticed the bird hanging around the dome a few weeks back, and it has now built a nest in the dome. Downtown Mendenhall has already been abuzz lately, see our recent article, and the eagle is attracting even more visitors.

Mendenhall Mayor Rod Ruth said, “The eagle has been attracting a lot of out-of-state travelers to downtown Mendenhall; many people are making a stop off Hwy. 49 going to or coming from the Gulf Coast to see the bird. Many area residents are coming to catch a glimpse as well. So, we have no plans of removing the bird from the courthouse. It’s been very good for Mendenhall.”

With July 4th coming up, Mendenhall officials came up with a great way to celebrate the eagle, Mendenhall, July 4th, and the good ole USA. Mendenhall officials reached out to singer, Lee Greenwood, to do a July 4th themed concert in front of the courthouse. Lee’s schedule is not as full as years past, and he agreed to do a concert. The event will be at 7:00 pm on June 31st.

Mayor Ruth said, “This will be a patriotic event to celebrate our great country, Mendenhall, the eagle, and God. Y’all bring your lawn chairs and come out for a good time.”

One area resident said, “This is so cool. I just hope the eagle flies around the dome while Lee is singing “God Bless the USA.” Can you imagine how incredible that would be? It gives me chills just thinking about it. #Merica baby!”

The City of Mendenhall expects a big crowd, and they expect a big economic impact from the event as well.

by I. B. Lyon

Exciting news was announced yesterday about a new aquarium and petting zoo coming to the Strong River Valley. The aquarium and petting zoo will be built in D’Lo on the Strong River; the property was acquired from a private land owner. The funding is being provided by a federal grant and the Central MS EcoAlliance, and the total cost of the facility will be approximately $5.5 million. Construction will start within the month, and it’s expected to be completed by August of 2024. The facility will be named The Strong River Valley Aquarium & Petting Zoo.

The state of the art facility will be approximately 9,500 square feet, and it will house multiple exhibits. The exhibits will showcase all the fish and wildlife of The Valley. The main attraction will probably be Rusty the river otter. You can expect to see plenty of catfish, a few alligators, some water moccasins, and plenty more. The petting zoo will be situated right next to the aquarium, and it will have cows, ponies, goats, rabbits, and more.

The facility will bring about 35 full time jobs to The Valley, and they will also need volunteers. Jane Irwin Cousteau, the PR director for the facility, said, “We’re so excited about opening this facility in The Valley. It’s going to be one of the nicest freshwater aquariums in the South, and the petting zoo is the icing on the cake. It’s going to bring jobs and a lot of tourists and visitors to The Valley.”

D’Lo mayor, Don Berry Henry, talked with us about the facility. He said, “This is going to be great for D’Lo and The Valley. I can’t wait to see how it grows and improves our community. This is going to put D’Lo back on the map. We’re moving on up!”

Valley residents are thrilled about the news, and they can’t wait to visit the facility next year.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Simpson Christian Academy (SCA) just announced that they will be building a domed football stadium. They received a large donation of $55 million from an unnamed source, and the donor’s only stipulation was that they build a domed stadium.

An SCA board spokesperson told me, “We’re so grateful for this donation. This will allow us to build a state of the art stadium that will be the best in the state and one of the best high school facilities in the nation. It’s definitely going to raise our profile in The Valley and across the state.”

I was able to see renderings of the new stadium, and it will be very similar to the FARGODOME. The FARGODOME is in Fargo, ND, and it’s the home of the mighty North Dakota St. Bison. SCA’s dome will seat approximately 10,000, and it will be equipped with a large jumbotron. It will also have premium seating for large donors and supporters of SCA Athletics. Additionally, it will have a second to none weight room and training facility that will be equipped with pool and ping pong tables, video game consoles, and even a barber shop.

Construction will begin on the new stadium this month, and it is expected to be completed next summer in time for the 2024 football season.

The SCA spokesperson also said, “This new stadium will also be used for concerts and other events. It will open up a ton of possibilities and potential revenue streams for SCA.” The spokesperson said they’ve already reached out to a few acts including Florida-Georgia Line and Nickelback about booking shows late next year or in 2025.

I reached out to a few current SCA football players, and they were very excited. One player said, “This is so awesome. Next year is going to be lit dude! I can’t wait to get a fresh haircut every week!”

Some SCA stakeholders aren’t thrilled about the new stadium though. One parent said, “$55 million on a domed stadium! Are you kidding? I don’t care what the donor stipulated. Some of that money needs to be used on classrooms and our other facilities. We need a performing arts center on campus; I want to be able to watch plays at SCA. It’s all about sports though. I can tell you one thing, they better not increase tuition!”

I’m sure everyone in The Valley will be keeping an eye on the progress of this state of the art facility in the coming weeks and months.

by Pullyn Mylegg

There is an urban legend in The Valley about a mythic swamp creature or monster that most people refer to as the Swamp Thang. Only a handful of people over the years have claimed to have seen the creature, and the sightings have all been near the Strong River. Many young Valleyans have never actually heard of the Swamp Thang. There hasn’t been a Swamp Thang sighting for years until this week.

Bubba Biggfoot was raccoon hunting this week with his friend east of Pinola along the Strong River when he supposedly saw the Swamp Thang. Biggfoot said, “We were doing a little coon hunting on Old Man Peabody’s place on the river. He told us not to be on his property, but it was at night so we weren’t too worried about getting caught. And, yes we know it’s out of season. The dogs were running past a slough, and we were coming in behind them. I had to take a break by the slough, and I heard something in the water. I looked over, and I swear the Swamp Thang was standing there in the water.”

I asked Biggfoot if possibly his mind was playing tricks on him because of a lack of sleep, but he was adamant about what he saw. He said, “No, I know what I saw. I swear to the Lord above it was the Swamp Thang. I always thought people were crazy that talked about seeing it, but it is real. I tried to get my phone out to take a pic, but I was so nervous that I dropped it. By that time, it had disappeared into the darkness.”

I asked Biggfoot if he could describe the creature to our graphics team so we could get a rendering of it, and he was pleased to do it. Biggfoot said, The thang was huge and ripped like a Greek God, and it looked like it had moss all over it.” He provided a few more details to our graphics team, and they created a drawing of the creature that you can see below.

I’m sure readers will have doubts just like I do about Biggfoot’s story, but who are we to doubt what he saw? I asked to him to swear on the Bible that his story was true, and he agreed to do it. He even agreed to take a lie detector test, but we don’t have the funds for that unfortunately. Valleyans, keep your eyes out for the Swamp Thang, and please submit a picture to us if you spot the creature.

by Carl “Bull” Crapper

The inaugural Strong River Valley Pickleball Open was held this past Saturday at the Puckett City Park. The tournament was sponsored by the Strong River Valley Observer, and there was a very good turnout for the event. There were 2 draws- women’s singles and women’s doubles.

The popularity of pickleball has exploded across the U.S. recently, and it is actually the fastest growing sport in the U.S. There are over 36 million pickleball players currently in the U.S. Pickleball is a paddle sport that combines elements of tennis, badminton, and ping pong. So, the SRVO felt it was time we introduced the sport to the great citizens of The Valley by sponsoring a tournament.

There were 24 women in the singles draw, and there were 10 teams in the doubles draw. No residents of The Valley were in the singles draw; however, we had one team from Puckett in the doubles draw. Sarena Smith and Veanus Vanderford were the lone team from the Valley, and the duo are sisters. Needless to say, they were the crowd favorite. The rest of the tournament entrants were from Brandon, Jackson, and Madison.

One fan said, “I’ve never seen so many Mercedes, BMWs, and Range Rovers at the Puckett Park in my life. Every vehicle had a 30A sticker on the back window. It was crazy. I don’t really think they liked us blaring our country music, but that’s how we roll in The Valley.”

Mary Grace Evert, the #3 ranked female in MS, won the singles draw. She breezed through the draw with little resistance. But, the doubles draw had much more competition. Smith and Vanderford had a tough draw, but they managed to navigate their way through it to reach the final. But, they ran out of gas in the championship match and came up short. However, the crowd was raucous throughout the match supporting the Puckett sisters.

Smith said, “We played hard, but we just ran out of gas. I’ve got to lose some weight, so I’m gonna have to cut out those awesome pizzas from Huff & Stuff.” Vanderford said, “I’ve got to stop vaping; it caught up with me today. We’ll see those highfalutin girls from Madison again, and we’re gonna whip their butts next time.”

The tournament was a big success, and we hope that it’s even bigger next year. SRVO thanks everyone who pitched in to put the tournament together, and we thank The Valley for coming out to support it. We’ll see you next year!

by Carl “Bull” Crapper

Strong River Valley Prep is one of the most prestigious private schools in the state. The school has a long waiting list, and the list continues to grow. The school has great athletic programs, but they’re best known for their high academic standards. Each year, they have multiple kids that go on to attend Ivy League universities. Rarely do you hear anything negative about Valley Prep, but the school is currently being rocked by an academic scandal.

The valedictorian and salutatorian spots are always high coveted, and there is a ton of competition and pressure on students to get these prestigious awards. This year that competition got out of control. Allie Grace Cheaten was crowned the valedictorian, and Ben Smart was the salutatorian.

But, students and parents immediately began the question the results. Smart made a 37 on his ACT, and he never made a grade less than a 98 all year. Cheaten only made a 23 on her ACT, and she only had a 3.65 GPA going into the fourth nine weeks. Parents demanded that there be an investigation into the results. It didn’t take long to figure out something was going on. One parent said, “Allie Grace’s dad is the Chairman of the board, and everybody knows he’s shady. His daughter is a spoiled brat, and everyone knew she wanted to be valedictorian. But, she’s probably not even in the top 15 of the 21 kid graduating class.”

After looking through some of Mr. Cheaten’s emails, it was discovered that he was pressuring multiple teachers to inflate Allie Grace’s grades. One email stated, “Please give Allie Grace a 100 on this history test. She has to be the valedictorian. Her mom has threatened to leave me if I don’t make sure she is valedictorian. I’ll pay you $1,000. Please!”

Another email said, “Look, I know Allie Grace isn’t the smartest in her class, but please make sure she gets the best grades in the class. We’ll give you and your family a free weekend at our Smith Lake house. Her mom will make my life a living hell if she’s not valedictorian.” School officials talked with the teachers listed in the emails, and they all said they inflated Allie Grace’s grades to please Mr. Cheaten.

After a short but thorough investigation, Valley Prep’s board has announced that Ben Smart is indeed the valedictorian. Unfortunately, the awards ceremony has already taken place, so Smart won’t be publicly honored. But, Smart does feel vindicated. He said, “Everyone knew she wasn’t the valedictorian. She cheated off me all the time.”

Smart was planning to go to Harvard, but they pulled his full scholarship when he wasn’t awarded the valedictorian. Smart’s mom said, “That little heifer and her shady dad cost my boy at chance to go to Harvard. Because of his superior intellect that he gets from me, he still has plenty of options. Wherever he goes, no other student can say they scored a 37 on their ACT.”

Ben said, “I’ll probably end up going to CoLin Tech, also known as the Harvard of The Valley. It’s not my #1 choice, but at least I’ll be close to Mom.”

Fortunately, justice and truth won out in this situation, but it’s going to be tough for Valley Prep to recover from this scandal. It’s unfortunate that these two young people got tied up in this, and we look forward to what the future holds for both.

by Emma Embellischer

The Puckett Elks Lodge hosted a dance party for area senior citizens Friday night. They had a meal catered for the event, and they had a great turnout. Everyone took part in multiple dances including the twist, jitterbug, square dancing, and more. Fun was had by all until the very end of the night.

According to one attendee, Nifty Vanderford and Groovy Burnham got into an argument about who was the faster runner back in high school, and the argument got quite heated. Shifty Allen, a friend of both men, said they could settle it by doing a Griddy dance off. Of course neither man knew anything about the Griddy, so they had to watch a video on Youtube to learn the dance.

Groovy took the floor first with all eyes on him, and he did fair. One attendee said, “Groovy did ok. It was a little slow, and he lacked any knee bend.” The crowd was lit, as the young kids say, at that point. Nifty took to the floor for his turn. After a few steps, he tripped over his feet and fell to the floor. He was in severe pain, and he started holding his hip. Nifty’s fall ended the party for the night. He broke his hip, but he’s expected to make a full recovery.

An attendee said, “Nifty was overconfident. He started out putting his hands over his eyes making glasses like Justin Jefferson. As they say, pride cometh before a fall. I tried not to laugh at him, but it was impossible. How can you not laugh at a 75 year old man doing the Griddy? I felt bad when I realized he was hurt.”

I talked with Nifty yesterday while he was in the hospital. He said, “Groovy better be glad I fell, because I was going to outdance his ugly tail. Just wait til I get my new hip.”

An official at the Elks Lodge asked for everyone to pray for Nifty to make a full recovery. She also said the Griddy was banned from now on at the Lodge.