by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Valley Prep is one of the premier private schools in MS. Their academics are top notch. It’s a very expensive and exclusive school, and they have very stringent admission requirements. They send multiple kids to Ivy League schools and some of the top universities in the country each year. Their athletic programs are a bit lacking though.

Valley Prep has a small enrollment, so numbers for football has always been an issue. In addition to low numbers, losing has been an issue for Valley Prep football too. They have won only one game in the past 3 seasons. This spring, the injury bug hit the program, and they lost 7 players to injury. A few of the players were not going to be ready to play this fall. After the past few years and the fact this fall was going to be a struggle, Valley Prep shut their football program down late this spring.

Coach Lane Freeze and many of the players were heartbroken about the program being shut down. Coach Freeze approached the administration the week after the program was shut down about starting a flag football program. He had already talked with most of the players, and they were on board. The administration thought it was a good idea, and they gave Coach Freeze the go ahead to start the program with only one caveat. If the first season goes well, he has to start a girls program too.

Coach Freeze said, “I had to do something or I was going to be out of a job. I probably could’ve coached girls junior high basketball or volleyball, but I’d rather dig ditches wearing a ski jacket in Saudi Arabia in August. Flag football is going to be a much better fit for our guys. We’re not very fast, athletic, or physical, so the flag game is a much more natural fit.”

Currently, there are no other flag football programs in the state and The Valley besides Valley Prep. But, Coach Freeze was able to schedule 6 games with other schools, and those schools will use their normal football players. Freeze said, “We were ahead of the curve like usual. Flag football is growing; it’s going to be in the Olympics in 2028. So, I think you’ll see more schools add it to their athletic programs.”

Unfortunately, Valley Prep’s flag football season has started like football seasons in the past. They’re now 0-3 with 3 games left to play. Freeze said, “It’s been a tough start to the season, but these kids are fighting hard. These kids are learning to face adversity head on. I tell them that everyone faces adversity, but it’s all about how you handle it. It’s about attitude and the power of positive thinking. Of course, I don’t tell them the truth. We’re not going to win because we’re not any good; we’re small, slow, and not athletic.”

There has been mixed opinions among Valley Prep parents and fans. One player’s father said, “Honestly, I hate this flag football crap. Valley Prep had a good opportunity to instill mental and physical toughness into these kids by continuing normal football, but they just basically quit when things got hard. It’s just pathetic. This would’ve never happened when I was growing up. If we had only 11, we would’ve played with 11. This is what’s wrong with America; when things get hard, we just lay down and quit. The real men need to stand up!”

I talked with another player’s mom. She said, “I was excited when I found out they were switching to flag football. Now, I really don’t have to worry about my son getting injured. Plus, the whole atmosphere around normal football just wreaks of toxic masculinity, and I don’t want my son to exude that. I hope they never to go back to normal football.”

We’ll see if Valley Prep can manage to get a win, but it looks bleak right now. It’ll be interesting to see if other schools start flag football programs as the popularity grows. The Olympics in 2028 could be the catalyst to get it going. We’ll see.

by Mack Speed

Hello Valleyans! The Strong River Valley Mower Racing League (SRVMRL) is back for season 2. Season 1 was a success, but there were definitely some things we needed to improve upon, and we believe we’ve made some good improvements. We now have restrooms with real toilets, real sinks, and a real feeding trough urinal for the guys. No more porta potties! Gentleman, we ran out of money for multiple urinals with partitions for privacy. So, you’ll have to pee in a feeding trough next to other guys, but at least it won’t smell like a porta potty.

Also, we have good news for you degenerate gamblers out there. The Valley Motor Speedway now has a sports book, so you can bet on the races! After weeks of talks with the MS Gaming Commission, we finally got it approved. Rusty Moore will be the manager of the sports book, and he will also be our handicapper. So, he’ll have odds for each adult race; there will no betting on the junior races. Rusty will also be the money changer, so y’all be patient with him. He has to wear many hats. I expect the book to be a good revenue stream for us in the future.

We had a great crowd for the first race of the season; I estimate that we had over 1,500 people there. Most were from The Valley, but I saw quite a few car tags from outside The Valley. The Ole Miss fans were back tailgating with their chandelier and fancy catered food. Of course, the ladies were dressed to the nine.

I was happy with our parking guys. We only had a couple minor issues with our parking. I held a meeting with a Powerpoint with my guys beforehand, so we were all on the same page. Some people just don’t like to be told what to do.

Now, to the races. The junior race was a bit of a snoozer. My son, Dale Earnhardt Speed, picked up where he left off last season. He won easily. The other junior drivers are really going to have to step up their game if they’re going to compete with Dale. He takes after his dad, that boy can race.

The main race was a pretty darn good race. Jeff Petty won a very close race. Petty came on strong at the end of last season, and he was really pushing Jimmie Stewart and Tony Johnson. Petty just stayed clean and out of the way of Stewart and Johnson; those guys go at each other pretty hard. Petty has the attention of those guys now, so I expect them to make adjustments for the next race.

Thanks for coming out to the Valley Motor Speedway! We’ll see you again on Sept. 21st.

by I. B. Lyon

The Valley County Election Commission (VCEC) had high hopes of hosting a presidential debate this fall. The Commission had been in talks and negotiations for weeks with the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) and the Harris and Trump campaigns. The candidates had agreed on a date- Sept. 31st. The location was down to two cities- Valley City, MS and Indianapolis, IN.

VCEC chairman Tucker Lemon said, “We submitted a great proposal to the CPD, and we had high hopes we’d land the debate. But, in the end, the CPD and the campaigns chose Indianapolis over The Valley. This would’ve been huge for The Valley, but it is what it is. I talked with officials with the CDP after we were told we would not be hosting the debate, and they lined out the reasons we were not chosen.”

In our discussion, Lemon explained the reasons to me The Valley was not chosen. VCEC was going to use the Valley City Civic Center as the venue, and it only holds 500 people. The Trump campaign said that it wouldn’t hold enough people, and the optics just wouldn’t be good for him. The Harris campaign said that there would be too many people in a live audience, and they would not do a debate with a live audience.

The VCEC wanted me, I. B. Lyon (yours truly), to be the debate moderator. But, the Trump campaign said I was too liberal and couldn’t be unbiased, and the Harris campaign said I was a radical conservative. Maybe I shouldn’t have posted so much on social media about my Libertarian views like legalizing recreational marijuana. And, I have shared a few Joe Rogan and Tucker Carlson videos recently. Sorry VCEC and The Valley.

Additionally, the VCEC proposed a unique format where the candidates would sit at a round table for the debate. The Trump campaign insisted both candidates have to stand at podiums. The Harris campaign insisted that both candidates sit in nice padded chairs with no table. Evidently, Trump wanted to be able to show off his signature Trump branded red tie at the podium, and Harris didn’t want her Hillary style pants suit to be hidden by the podium. Additionally, the VCEC put a clause in their proposal that uncontrollable laughing and repeating phrases multiple times wouldn’t be tolerated and would be muted. Evidently, this was frowned upon by both campaigns as well.

Lemon said, “We were very disappointed we were weren’t chosen, but we’ll try again in 4 years. We learned a lot through this process, so we’ll be better prepared next time. As the VCEC chairman, make sure you’re registered to vote before Nov., and make sure you show up at the polls and exercise your constitutional right to vote.”

Valleyans, even though we were beat out by Indianapolis for the debate, make sure to tune in at 7:00 pm on Sept. 31st to watch the presidential debate. Hopefully, that will be us in 4 years.

by Emma Embellischer

It’s always great to see a local Valley company doing well, especially in this economy. It’s tough for local clothing and retail companies to thrive these days because of Amazon, Wal-Mart, and other large corporations. But, the Valley Dungaree Company (VDC) is doing great right now, and the future looks even brighter.

VDC was founded 2 years ago by Valleyan, Levi “Blue” Denham. Denham had worked in retail most of his life, and he’d most recently worked as a manager at Factory Connection. He had gotten burnt out working long hours, and he had been wanting to start his own clothing company for a while. He comes from a family of Valley farmers. His dad is a farmer, his grandfather was a farmer, and his older brother is also a farmer. Denham had always seen his dad and grandpa wearing overalls, and he always wore overalls when he helped out on the farm.

Denham decided a couple years ago that he was going to start a clothing company that sells overalls only. But, his company was going to be different. Denham said, “I wanted to market my overalls to the masses, not just men and farmers. Also, as someone that cares about the planet and sustainability, I wanted to source my materials from sustainable plants/materials. After doing some research, I decided that I was going to use bamboo to make my overalls. Luckily, I didn’t have to go far. I was able to find a farmer in the Valley who owns many acres of land covered by bamboo, and he allowed me to harvest free of charge.”

VDC has really taken off in the past 6 months. His storefront on Main St. in Valley City is doing great, and he also sells a ton of product online. Denham uses Tiktok and Instagram to promote his overalls, and he has thousands of followers. He has also used a couple well known influencers to peddle his overalls, and that has helped too. He is now shipping overalls to shoppers all across the world. There a couple features that set Denham’s overalls apart from other brands.

Denham said, “First, my overalls are super soft and lightweight. They’re not rough and heavy like a lot of jeans and overalls. It’s almost like you’re not wearing anything at all. Also, we offer our overalls in different fits including regular, tapered, and slim. This has helped us appeal to many different types of people including teens, hipsters, farmers, and more. We also offer shorts overalls, and the ladies love them. We’ll remain flexible and adapt as styles change, so we’ll probably offer more in the future.”

I talked to a couple proud VDC shoppers. One young hipster male said, “I love my VDCs! They are so soft. I have 3 different pairs, and I love the skinny fit. Plus, I feel good about wearing them because they’re made from sustainable bamboo.” One Valley farmer told me, “I’m done with my Liberty overalls. They ain’t got nothing on Blue’s VDCs. They are so soft, and they’re also very durable. I’m hoping he’ll ask me to be a model for him, but I ain’t gonna hold my breath on that. Haha!”

We’ll see if Denham can make overalls mainstream. He’s off to a good start. Come on down to Main St. in Valley City and try on a pair of Blue’s VDCs.

by Ima Phibber

Donald Buffett is a well known business owner and real estate investor in The Valley. Buffett’s primary business is a body shop, but he also owns a mobile home park, RV park, laundromat, vape shop, and more. He recently formed DG Ventures, LLC, and it’s going to be a very unique real estate investment firm.

Buffett plans to acquire rural properties in and around The Valley that would be ideal spots for new Dollar General stores. Buffett said, “I’ve always had a knack for buying properties at low prices that turn out to be prime properties in the future. I was driving down the road the other day, and I noticed they’d built a Dollar General out in the middle of nowhere. I thought about the person that owned that land probably made a killing. Then, I decided that I was going to start buying property in rural areas that would be prime properties for the next Dollar General. I may be a little late to the party, but I think I can do it.”

Buffett has made contact with the Dollar General corporate office about his plans. They appreciated his interest, but they made no commitments to him and DG Ventures, LLC. Buffett said, “I managed to get through to their real estate guy, but he really didn’t have a whole lot to say. I asked him where they were looking to add stores in MS, and he wouldn’t tell me. I even tried to bribe him with two months of free rent in my RV park. So, I’m just going to have to go on my intuition on this, but I think I can do it.”

Buffett has contacted multiple farmers and land owners in rural areas of The Valley and Central MS, but he hasn’t acquired any property as of the publication of this story. He said, “You know the old saying- Build it and they will come? Well, I’m going to change it up. For me, it’s going to be- Buy it and they will come.”

Buffett’s plan seems to be a tough proposition. The Valley and surrounding areas are already flush with Dollar Generals. I heard they just built one on the moon, but I haven’t verified that. We’ll keep in touch with Buffett and his unique firm, and update you periodically.

by Heeza de Seaver

Goat yoga has taken off in many areas of the country. I guess it’s not enough to just stretch and bend your body in preposterous painful ways. Now, you need to put a small goat on your back while you’re doing it. I don’t understand it, but it’s becoming more and more popular.

Nanny Ridge Farms has been operating a successful goat farm for about 15 years in The Valley. They sell goats to buyers across the country, and they’re well known and respected across the country. In addition to breeding goats, they sell many goat products including goat milk (don’t tell the Dept. of Ag.), goat soaps, goat cheeses, goat jerky, and more.

Nanny Ridge Farms owner Billie Kidd said, “Our retail business at the farm has slowed recently. I think it has to do with Bidenomics and inflation. So, I was brainstorming on ways to get people out to the farm, and I ran across some videos on Tiktok with people doing goat yoga. I thought it was crazy to be honest with you. But, I thought that we could give it a try. Everyone loves baby goats, and you can mix in some yoga. What’s not to love?”

Kidd said, “I didn’t know anything about yoga, so I had to find someone that did. I started asking around, and everyone told me to contact Krishna Theegala. I was told she was the yoga instructor in The Valley. I contacted her, and she said she’d be happy to do some classes even though she’d never done goat yoga.”

Kidd added, “The first class attracted 9 ladies. It was a circus. The kids were kind of freaked out. They’d never had to stand on someone’s back for an extended period of time. I spent 80% of my time chasing the kids, and putting them back on the ladies’ backs. They did better in week 2, and they gotten even better the past couple weeks. Now, we’re up to about 25 ladies doing goat yoga, and I hope it’ll continue to grow.”

After the yoga sessions, Kidd provides cold goat milk along with charcuterie boards with her infused goat cheeses. Kidd said that his has helped her retail business a good deal. I talked with a couple yoga participants, and they love the goat yoga and refreshments. One said, “Honestly, I’m not crazy about the goat yoga. It really doesn’t feel good to have a goat walking on your back. But, the cold goat milk afterwards is so refreshing. I think I’m gonna keep coming back just for that. Another said, “The yoga is fun, and I love the little goats. But, Billie’s blueberry infused goat cheese is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. So awesome!”

Kidd said the yoga sessions have been good for the farm. Currently, she only does one session per week, but she plans to add another session as the numbers continue to grow. Never tried goat yoga? Come on out to Nanny Ridge Farms and give it a try. Sample some of the goat milk and goat cheese while you’re at it.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Valley hip hop artist, Bubba Swompz, has been getting noticed in the hip hop game recently. Bubba is releasing his first album called “Valley Born & Bred” next week to much fanfare. He is also releasing his sure to be hit single “Valley Born & Bred” tomorrow to all the major platforms including Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, and more! I was able to have a sit down Q&A session with Bubba about his new record release, and I’ve included some the Q&A below.

Q: Your given name is Brian Swonk, so what was the genesis of the name Bubba Swompz?

A: I have a younger sister, and she started calling me Bubba when she started talking. It stuck with me; my family and friends started calling me Bubba too. Swompz came recently. When I started rapping a few years ago, my friends said I had to get a name to go with Bubba like Bubba Sparxx. I grew up next to a swamp, so one of my friends said, “How about Bubba Swompz?” I liked it, and I went with it. So, here we are!

Q: How did you get into the rap game?

A: I’ve always been interested in rap or hip hop music. I’ve been listening to it as long as I can remember. I’d turn on BET and watch it all day. I’d also listen to 99JAMZ as much as possible. I started doing my own stuff a few years ago. I’d sing at friends’ birthday parties and stuff like that, and I’d do a little gig here and there when I was off work from my day job as a mechanic. My friends and family have encouraged me for a while to make an album, so that’s what I did.

Q: What artists have influenced your musical style?

A: I love rap, but I have listened to different kinds of music as long as I can remember. I listen to country, rock, blues, and more in addition to rap. I love to listen to Snoop and Dre. As a white rapper, Enimem has been an influence too. I love country singers like Merle Haggard and Hank, Jr. as well. Kid Rock has been a big influence. I like to listen to bluesman like Muddy Waters, R.L. Burnside, and Junior Kimbrough too. It’s an interesting mix of artists that I’ve drawn inspiration from over the years.

Q: Can you tell us about your debut album “Valley Born & Bred”?

A. Yes, I’m so excited to release this record to the great people of The Valley and the world! I’ve been working on it for a long time. I’m proud to have grown up in The Valley. It’s part of who I am; you can take me out of The Valley, but you can’t take The Valley out of me. So, I wanted to put together an album that highlighted my roots and upbringing in The Valley. It’s a bit of nostalgia about my childhood and the things that I and other country folks experienced as kids. It’s a Valleyan and country folks anthem; they’ll be able to identify with all the songs.

Q: What’s next for you Bubba?

A: I’m looking forward to this album release. I hope it goes well. Everyone share on social media. Sharing is caring! Follow me on Spotify and other streaming platforms. I’m open for bookings. Contact me directly, I don’t have an agent or handlers. I’m just looking forward to getting my name and my work out there for the world to see and hear. Also, I’d like to thank my record label, Strong River Valley (SRV) Records; they’ve done a great job producing and promoting my album. Stretch, I appreciate you and the SRVO for doing this Q&A for me. I love you and the SRVO, and thank you so much.

Bubba is doing great things, and I think he’ll be a household name before long. The SRVO is pleased to introduce him to The Valley and the world.

by Tre McGyver

Greetings Valleyans! It’s been a while! I’ve been super busy trying to clean up Valley Meadows, and I pretty much had it how I wanted it. Then, the kids got out of school for the summer, and all hell has broken loose. I’m so ready for these little savages to go back to school.

I had our above ground pool and the area around it ready for the summer. The kids got of school, and it went downhill fast. The kids just throw their drink cans and bottles on the ground by the pool. There is also candy wrappers and potato chip bags everywhere. Also, I’ve had to use a ton of chemicals in the pool. These kids pee in the the pool constantly; I swear the water has a yellow tint to it. Also, no vaping is allowed at the pool, but evidently people can’t read the sign. I get a complaint every freakin day about someone vaping at the pool. I go to investigate, and they all hide their vapes. I guess I’m going to have to install a camera to deter vaping at the pool.

We’ve have had a gang of young boys wreaking havoc this summer. There are about 7-8 of the little turds, and the McCoy twins are the ring leaders. They stay up late making way too much noise. They play baseball on the street, and you have to threaten to run over them to get them to move. They ride their bikes everywhere including through our residents’ lawns. Old Man Cooper has threatened to shoot them 2 or 3 times for coming into his yard. They knock on residents’ doors and then take off running. It’s pretty bad, and I’ve done all I know to do including a pow wow with their parents. Before next summer, I may buy a PlayStation of Xbox for them to try to keep them inside all summer. School needs to start yesterday!

Let’s no start on July 4th. These little savages were lighting fire crackers by residents’ mobile homes. One elderly lady had a light heart attack after they set off firecrackers just outside her bedroom; we had an ambulance show up to get her. The police were called twice, but they never caught the little criminals. I talked to their parents, but it hasn’t done much good.

We also had a couple teenage boys riding their dirt bikes around the neighborhood. They’d rev those things as loud as possible. It was so annoying. Again, I talked to their parents, and that didn’t do any good either. Don’t tell anyone this, but I slit one of their tires. He was out of commission for a couple days, but they were back at it and louder than ever after a couple days.

It’s honestly been the worst summer of my life. I’ve had to get on blood pressure meds. It’s been bad. But, I’m not going to let these savages run wild. I’m bound and determined to calm this place down for our residents. Thank God these kids are going back to school this week!

by Ben BeEssen

Dr. Gregory Gregg has been practicing medicine in The Valley for about 35 years now. Generations of Valleyans have trusted Dr. Gregg with their health. He’s loved and well respected by just about everyone in The Valley. Recently, he’s seeing a disturbing trend among young Valley males. More and more adolescent and teen boys are having head and neck issues.

Dr. Gregg said, “This is a disturbing trend among the young males that I’ve been seeing. Mom will bring in a young male, and they’ll be complaining about neck pain or headaches. Many of the boys are having concussion like symptoms. At first, I was baffled by the increase in these ailments. My first thought was too much screen time; I thought the boys looking down at screens for long periods of time could be the issue. But, I ruled that out after seeing a few young male patients. Next, I thought it could be long covid, something in the water, chemtrails, or something else. I also noticed that it was only males; no females were coming in with these issues. But, over the past few months I think I’ve discovered the issue. Now, we’re going to have to educate parents and the young males about the cause and how to prevent these issues.”

Dr. Gregg finally discovered the issue was “Bama bangs” or “frat boys bangs.” These young males like to have long flowing bangs, because that’s the cool hairstyle these days. The problem is the hair continues to get in their eyes and face, and they have to continually shake their head to get the hair out of their eyes and face. In many of Dr. Gregg’s young male patients, this is causing head and neck problems.

Dr. Gregg said, “Many of these boys have big heads, and their brains aren’t fully developed. A young male that has a developing brain can cause concussion like symptoms by repeatedly shaking his head. Also, our heads are pretty heavy. So, a young male can develop neck issues as well by repeatedly shaking his head.”

Dr. Gregg has some recommendations for young Valley males and their parents. These recommendations probably aren’t going to be popular among the boys though. If the parents take Dr. Gregg’s advice, the hairstyles of young Valley males are going to look a lot different.

Dr. Gregg said, “These Valley boys aren’t gonna want to hear this, but it needs to be done. All these Valley boys need to cut their hair; they all need to do flat tops or buzz cuts. I had one for years when I was young and when I was in the military. I turned out ok, and I didn’t have any head or neck issues. Cut your darn hair boys!”

Valley boys and their moms aren’t happy about Dr. Gregg’s recommendation. One 14 year old Valley boy said, “I love my Bama bangs. They have helped me pickup more than one girl. I ain’t cutting them; I guess I’ll just have to deal with a sore neck. One Valley mom said, “I can’t cut Little Ethan’s bangs; I just can’t do it. They are so cute. It would kill me to have them cut.”

Dr. Gregg has made some Valleyans upset about his recommendation, but he has a duty to help his patients and Valleyans. We’ll see if Valley moms and their sons take Dr. Gregg’s advice, but I have my doubts.

by Ima Phibber

The Valley has been doing well lately. Businesses are popping up all over the place. People are moving to The Valley. There’s a buzz, and it’s contagious. But, one thing that has been sorely lacking is a lifestyle magazine. Many cities, regions, and popular destinations have lifestyle magazines that highlight attractions, food, and movers and shakers in those places. Some local examples would be Stages, Northside Sun, and Hometown Magazines, and some regional examples would be Mississippi Magazine, South Mississippi Living, and the goat- Southern Living. But, Valleyans should be excited because a lifestyle magazine is coming, and it’s going to be called Valley Living.

Emma Embellischer and I have been talking about the need for a lifestyle magazine for a while now. We brought up the idea to SRVO management a few months back, and they liked the idea. Management gave us the go ahead, and they gave us some parameters and guidelines. Emma and I have been working on the details for a couple months now. We decided to name the magazine Valley Living, and it will be a subsidiary of the SRVO. The magazine will be published quarterly, and the first issue will be ready next week.

Valley Living will highlight the homes and mobile homes, food, gardens, workshops and more of the fine people of The Valley. Each issue will showcase the home or mobile home of a Valley family, the shop/workshop of a Valley man, the work a Valleyan that works with his/her hands, and the garden of a Valleyan. Valley women will also share recipes and cooking techniques. There will also be a travel ball mom spotlight in each issue; the moms will discuss the joys and challenges of being a travel ball mom.

We’re very excited to bring this quarterly magazine the great people of the Valley. It’s going to show real, authentic, normal people unlike some of these uppity lifestyle magazines. It will be free of charge; we’ll distribute the magazines to multiple businesses and organizations across the Valley. It will also be a great place for local businesses to advertise, so please contact me or Emma about advertising opportunities. We get a commission for the advertisers we secure, so don’t contact the SRVO office. Make sure you get your girls paid!