by SRVO Editorial Board

The SRVO normally does not endorse political candidates. That’s been a longstanding unofficial policy of our organization even though our endorsement has been sought from many local and national politicians. We just like to report the news, and we’ll let you, the reader, decide. But, we felt compelled to endorse a candidate for President of the United States this election cycle, because this is the most important election of our lives (because it’s the next one of course). And, what can be, unburdened by what has been.

There’s never been such a binary choice for President. Man or woman, orange man or black/Indian woman, old or young (somewhat), East Coast or West Coast, Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, middle class elite or rich elite, business owner or career politician, and we could go on and on. Our editorial board had a long spirited debate (about 30 seconds), and we made the decision to endorse Donald J. Trump.

We lined out 10 reasons for endorsing Trump, and they are listed below.

• He’s worked a normal job longer than Harris. See the recent picture above at McDonald’s.
• Harris and Trump both lie (they’re politicians after all), but Trump’s lies aren’t outright lies. There’s generally a shred of truth with his lies.
• Even though Trump doesn’t speak in complete sentences and constantly repeats himself, he has more substance to his statements than Harris. Harris speaks quite a bit, but doesn’t really say anything.
• We like Harris’s joyful demeanor, but we’re not sure the country can take her uncontrolled and sometimes spontaneous laughter for 4 years. We’re not sure how Putin and Xi would respond to her laughter.
• We can’t take 4 years of “I grew up in a middle class family” memes, and we can’t take that excuse from Harris every time she fails over the next 4 years. Trump isn’t humble, and he will never accept blame or admit he failed. But, we’ll take that over “I grew up in a middle class family.”
• If Harris wins, America may not have any middle class families in 4 years.
• Trump is not in favor of tampons in men’s bathrooms.
• Vance > Walz (nice beard)
• Trump just makes things more interesting, and that’s good for the news business.
• We’re pandering. The vast majority of our readers support Trump, and we don’t want to make them mad.

We hope you respect and understand our decision to endorse Trump. Regardless of which candidate you support, we hope you’ll continue to come to us for the news of the Strong River Valley. We appreciate your readership, and we’ll continue to report the news.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

College sports, especially football and basketball, have been changed dramatically by NIL (name, image, and likeness). Many players simply choose their college based off which college will pay the most NIL money. In addition to NIL, the transfer portal is making a huge impact on college sports. Players can switch schools freely with no restrictions. Players are basically free agents each year, and many leave a school because another one will pay them more money.

Just about all major Division 1 colleges have NIL collectives, and some smaller schools have collectives as well. Now, some community colleges have formed collectives to pay their athletes. But, the trend really hasn’t trickled down to high schools across the country. I’ve heard about a few high school athletes receiving NIL money, but it’s rare. That is about to change in The Valley.

Valley Prep’s boosters have recently formed a NIL collective called The Standard Collective. Valley Prep’s motto is “Set the Standard”, so the collective name comes from their motto. From my recent story about Valley Prep, you know that athletics are not a big focus for the school. The Standard Collective will not be for athletics; it’s going to initially be for Valley Prep’s chess and debate teams.

Valley Prep’s chess team is the best in the state bar none. They have won the state championship 7 out of the past 8 years, and 5 times in a row. Valley Prep’s debate team is also the best in the state; they’ve won 4 consecutive state championships and 5 out of the past 6. These mental athletes are the top performers at Valley Prep, and they’re some of the most sought after students in the state. Most receive scholarship offers from Ivy League schools and other prestigious universities. As Valley Preppers say, “From The Valley to the Ivy.”

The Standard Collective was formed 3 weeks ago, and it was spearheaded by Bobby Fisher. Fisher said, “We’re very excited about the Standard Collective. We have some of the best mental athletes in the state and in the country, and we want to do everything to keep them at Valley Prep. Many of our chess and debate team members have gotten offers from other schools, and the Standard Collective will help keep our talented students at Valley Prep. It will also help us attract even more mental athletes to Valley Prep. The future is bright for Valley Prep and the Standard Collective. As we say here at Valley Prep- “We set the standard.”

This is the first NIL collective in the state for high schoolers, and it’s interesting that it’s not even for football or athletics. I talked with multiple Valley Prep stakeholders, and the feedback I received about the Standard Collective was mixed.

One Valley Prep football player’s father told me, “To be honest, I think this is a load of crap. Our football team is horrible and has been horrible for a while; the collective money needs to be used for football. The chess and debate teams are already stacked, so they don’t need help. The football program needs help Mr. Fisher! Come on man!”

I talked with Valley Prep’s Director of Academic Achievement, Cornell Brown-Yale, and he said, “We are so excited about the Standard Collective. This will help our mental athletes get the compensation they deserve, and it will help us attract even more top notch chess players and debaters in the state. Some may feel this is a little much for high school students, but we think this will become more common in the future. As usual, Valley Prep is setting the standard.”

The Standard Collective will begin accepting contributions next month. They are urging Valley Prep alumni to donate to this trend-setting organization. It will be interesting to see if other schools in The Valley and the state start paying high school athletes. As usual, you can count on the SRVO to keep you informed, and we’ll do that about Valley Prep and the Standard Collective.

by Mack Speed

Hello Valleyans! We had a great night at The Valley Motor Speedway Saturday night. It was the final race of the season, so it was a playoff-like atmosphere. We had a huge crowd; I think it was the biggest crowd we’ve ever had. Next season, we’ll have to start counting cars and keep track of attendance to know how many we have each race.

Just when you think you have the parking thing down, things go haywire. My parking guys didn’t have a good night. I talked with my head parking guy, and he said some of it was the fans didn’t care what the parking guys said. He also said two of his take charge guys were out, and I guess his replacements didn’t know how to take charge. If you’re not assertive and forceful, these people will just park wherever and however they please.

The vibes at the track were electric. It had the atmosphere of a big SEC football game. We had more tailgaters than ever, and everyone was having a good time. The MSU and Ole Miss fans were tailgating together again, and you love to see that. There were tons of kids running around, and that made me feel good. The Coach O impersonator was back! He has become a celebrity at the track. He was even taking selfies and signing autographs Saturday night.

Rusty Moore and the sports book was on fire this week. We had more betting than ever. Rusty made money for the track last week, and he did really well for the track this week. We might be able to get him some help next season, and I think we made enough money to get him out of the old shooting house and get him some new digs. We’re going to have to do more to promote Rusty and the sports book next season, so y’all look out for that next year.

To the races! My boy, Dale Earnhardt Speed, bounced back after his first ever loss. I told him it’s all about how you respond when you get knocked down. He was locked in from the jump, and it wasn’t even close. He sent a message to Juan Pablo Lagano and the others that he owns the junior league, and it’s gonna stay that way going into next season.

Jimmie Stewart was back this week after serving his one race suspension from gambling on his race. He was locked in from the jump, and he managed to eke it out in the end. It was a tough race, and the guys were bumping and grinding the whole race. I was worried that it might get out hand, but it never did. It was just old fashioned tough racing, and I liked it. The fans were even mouthing back and forth at each other. It was good stuff, and that’s what it’s all about.

Valleyans, thank you for coming out to the track this season! We had a great season, and I can’t wait for next year. We’re gonna continue to grow the SRVMRL, and we appreciate your support. See you next season!

by Offe Hisczrocher

Have you wondered why so many Jeeps have rubber ducks sitting on their dashboard? I’m sure most of you have noticed the rubber ducks on the Jeep dashboards by now. But, I had no idea why so many Jeeps have ducks sitting on their dashboard. Are they Free Masons, members of a secret club, or possibly members of a cult? Well, the practice is called “ducking.” Fellow Jeep owners acknowledge each other for multiple reasons, including just having a nice Jeep to just an act of kindness, by putting a duck on another person’s Jeep. There’s nothing sinister about it; it’s actually a neat practice or trend.

Someone in The Valley has started a similar trend. It appears the originator/s of this trend seeks out older model Honda Accords and Toyota Camrys, and they put mini Energizer bunnies on these cars. No one knows who started the trend, but it’s catching on. I’ve personally noticed 5-6 Accords and Camrys with small Energizer bunnies sitting on their dashboards.

It’s the talk on social media among Valleyans right now. People are trying to figure out who started the trend, but no one knows. The practice is being called “bunnying” or “getting bunnied.” One can assume the Energizer bunny symbolizes that these two car models are durable, and they just keep going and going like the Energizer bunny.

One Valleyan said, “I think this is hilarious. My Accord is 12 years old, and she’s still running strong. I’m going to drive her to the wheels fall off. I’ve been “bunnied” 3 times now, and I’m proud to display those bunnies on my dash. Hopefully, my car will still keep going strong for years to come, and I can fill my dash up with bunnies.”

A Valley Jeep owner said, “I’ve been ducking for years now, and it’s fun. But, I really enjoy bunnying Accord and Camry owners. I’ve bought a ton of mini bunnies, and I’m putting them out everywhere. It’s a riot to see these old cars driving around with bunnies on their dashes.”

This a fun trend, and the intrigue about the originator/s is very funny. The trend hasn’t really caught on outside The Valley yet, but I’m sure it will soon. No one noticed those older Accord and Camry’s until now. Take a backseat Jeep owners! It’s time for these old Accords and Camrys to shine!

by Emma Embellischer

The world is changing at a fast pace, and if you don’t keep up, you can easily get left behind. The Internet/Social Media Age has changed many things for the better. And, some things have changed for the worse. I could write a book about that, and we could discuss it for days. One thing that has significantly changed in the Internet/Social Media Age is communication. Communication is now instant. There are also so many new communication channels: social media, instant messaging, text messages, email, and more.

Unfortunately, many senior citizens and adults have gotten left behind in this instant communication world. Most senior adults have adopted email and text messaging, and more and more have started using social media (mostly Facebook). Now, social media platforms/apps like Tiktok, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, X, and more are the preferred communication channels for most young people these days.

Not only are they using these new communication channels or applications, their method of communicating has changed. These youngsters may be communicating in 3 different apps with 3 different people at one time, so they want to make things as quick and easy as possible. So, words or phrases have been shortened or abbreviated. For example: Thank you= TY, You’re Welcome= YW, I Don’t Know= IDK, and many more. This has caused many adults to be left behind in this modern world of communication.

Valley Technical Institute (Valley Tech) is a community college in Valley City, and they do a great job of serving the citizens of The Valley. Valley Tech sociology and psychology instructor, Benji Rush, recognized this communication issue among older adults and teens and 20 somethings. Rush said, “I approached our dean about creating a communication course to educate adults about communicating in the modern world. They were on board, so I started working on the curriculum. I’ve worked on it for about 3 months, and we’re going live with the course next week. The name of the course is “Communicating in the Modern World.” The course will educate adults on using social media, learning abbreviated words and phrases, and learning current slang words and phrases, and it will last 6 weeks. Right now, we have 11 people signed up, and the average age of the students is 65. I’m really excited about it.”

I was able to catch up with a couple of the students, and they were excited about the course. Billy Bean, a retired truck driver and grandpa, said, “Look, I just got a smart phone 6 months ago; I had a flip phone forever. I have been overwhelmed with all this technology. I got on Facebook about a month ago. My kids and grandkids text me, and I don’t know what half the crap they text me means. So, I decided to take this course to learn more.”

Karen Krasczinsky, a retired secretary and grandma, is also taking the course. She said, “I’ve embraced texting and social media. I’m on Facebook, and I recently got on Tiktok. I think I’m a pretty cool and hip grandma, but I need to learn more. I listen to my grandkids talking to each other and their friends, and it’s almost like they’re talking in a different language. I wanna learn more about the current slang of youngsters, and using and mastering hashtags.”

Rush has a couple parents under 40 in the class, so it’s not just senior citizens and grandparents that are struggling with modern communication. Rush also expects this course to be offered more in the future. If you’re struggling with communicating in this crazy world, consider taking Rush’s class at Valley Tech.

by Mack Speed

Hello Valleyans! We had a great night at the Valley Motor Speedway Saturday. Again, we had a big crowd, and I saw car tags from all over the place. Evidently, word is getting out about the great environment at the SRVMRL.

Parking was good this week; we had no major issues with parking. However, we did have a couple fender benders. One Lexus SUV owner from Madison Co. had a barely visible scratch after the fender bender, and they called the police to file a report for their insurance. Of course, everybody turned into rubberneckers when the cops showed up. It was ridiculous to be honest, and the police officer thought it was ridiculous too.

The atmosphere was great Saturday night. We had a ton of tailgaters. Some of the MSU and Ole Miss fans were even tailgating together. After Ole Miss’s recent loss, I guess they can now feel MSU fans’ pain. They even invited USM fans to join with them too. I think I may have heard some of them singing Kum Ba Yah. Maybe this is a sign that people are coming together. Maybe the Democrats and Republicans can come together. Peace in the Middle East is a probably a stretch, but who knows. I’ll take this as a good sign, but I’m probably off base. Oh yeah, Coach O was back again this week! You gotta love Coach O! He greeted me. I heard “Hey Mack! gajgoadjfj oajfdoajoadjoa agjoajoajo.”

The sportsbook was buzzing. People were placing bets on the races like crazy. I think Rusty’s handicapping is getting better after watching a few races and getting to the know the drivers. I mentioned an issue with our last race, and I think I’ve figured out what happened. My investigation resulted in Jimmie Stewart being suspended from Saturday night’s race.

Jimmie’s brother placed a big bet on Tony Johnson the last race, and Jimmie seemed to not be concerned about winning. Jimmie came clean to me on this; he was honest about it. Jimmie’s brother won hundreds of dollars by betting on Tony in the last race, and he placed the bet for Jimmie. Jimmie wanted new rims for his mower, so he got his brother to place the bet. I told Jimmie that his fans will have to wait until the next race to see those nice new rims because he ain’t racing Saturday night. I also told him that I’d ban him from the Track if he did this again.

Now, to the races. My boy, Dale Earnhardt Speed, finally lost a race. Juan Pablo Lagano barely beat him. Dale was devastated, and I did my best to console him. I told him to remember this feeling and how bad it hurts, and I told him it’s all about bouncing back. It’s all about how you respond. When you get knocked down, you gotta get back up off the mat and fight. We’ll see how he responds, but I think it’s good for him. Everyone needs to face some adversity; everything in life is not going to be easy all the time.

To the adult race. With Jimmie Stewart being out, that opened up things quite a bit. We had a heck of race between Jeff Petty and Tony Johnson. They were going at it all night, but Petty won in the end. It was probably the best race we’ve had at the Track. They were bumpin and grindin the last 2 laps, and it was great racing. Those two were having words after the race, and I thought it might get physical. But, nothing ended up happening. It will be interesting when Jimmie Stewart returns next week with his new rims.

Well, we only have one race left in the season, and that’s hard to believe. It should be a lot of fun. We’ll see you at the Valley Motor Speedway in a couple weeks.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Strong River Valley (SRV) Records has been doing work lately. They are a brand new record label located here in The Valley. Bubba Swompz was the first artist they signed, and he is doing big things with his album “Valley Born & Bred.” Now, SRV Records has signed their second artist- Lily of the Valley. Her single “Dad Bod Pride” was released on all the major platforms last Friday, and her debut album “Wife/Mom Life” will be released tomorrow! I was able to catch up with Lily this week, and I’ve included some of our Q&A session below.

Q. Your actual name is Lily Williams. Where did Lily of the Valley come from?

A. Well, that’s a fairly new nickname for me. I have lived in The Valley my whole life, but I’ve always just been Lily. I started doing a few gigs here and there in and around The Valley a few years ago. I had a couple guys start calling me Lily of The Valley one night, and it just kind of stuck. They probably had no idea that the lily of the valley is actually a poisonous plant. That’s pretty funny. Now, that’s what all my fans call me. I like it. But, to my husband, family, and friends, I’ll still just Lily.

Q. How long have you been singing?

A. Oh, I’ve been singing since I was a little girl. I’ve loved singing as long as I can remember. I grew up singing in church and pageants. As I got older, I also sang in the school choir and show choir. In college, I’d go out with my friends, and I’d always end up singing karaoke. After getting married and starting a family, I would just sing in church occasionally, but 4-5 years ago I started singing in local restaurants and parties when I could. My family and friends started pushing me to do an album about a year ago, so I’ve been working on it for about a year. I’m so happy to share it to the world.

Q. What artists have influenced your musical style?

A. I love me some country music, so most of the artists that I’ve looked up to are country singers. I grew up when country music was actually country music. Shania Twain is probably my favorite artist of all time. I also love some Reba and Wynonna Judd. I like Gretchen Wilson too. Miranda Lambert and Carrie Underwood are a couple younger artists that I really like. I also like Aaron Tippin, Collin Raye, and Johnny Cash.

Q. What is your debut album “Wife/Mom Life” about?

A. I’m a wife and mom to 3 wonderful kids, and our life is crazy like most families these days. I wanted my album to be relatable to other moms, wives, husbands, and dads. The album is about the everyday struggles and things us busy moms and wives have to deal with, and I tried to put a fun twist on it. I think I’ve put together a good album with some good, fun songs. It’s for all you moms and wives out there!

Q. What is next for you Lily?

A. Nothing is going to change on the mom/wife front. I’ll still be taking care of my family and animals, and living this crazy wife/mom life. I won’t be going on tour anytime soon. My family takes precedent over everything else, and that will always be the case for me. We’ll see what happens with the album. Hopefully, people will like it; I’ve put a lot of time and effort into it. Y’all check it out on Spotify, AppleMusic, YouTubeMusic, and more!

by I. B. Lyon

Black panthers are controversial creatures. Many people say there is no such thing as a black panther, and there are definitely none in The Valley. Other people swear they’ve seen one, and they say they’re absolutely real and they live in The Valley. Evidently, they are real, and there is one roaming the Strong River Bend (SRB) area. There have been multiple sightings by five different people recently, so I set off to investigate the situation.

I called the MS Dept. of Wildlife, Parks, & Fisheries, and I talked to their big cat expert, Ima Kouger. She has been with the agency for 25 years, and she’s been studying big cats for many years. Kouger said, “We do not have black panthers in MS. I know people swear we do, but there is no such thing as a black panther. They are not a species or sub species. Of course, there is the Florida panther that has a tan colored coat, and its range is in south and central Florida. But, the black panther is just a myth or urban legend.”

I also joined 2 black panther sightings/stories Facebook groups. To be honest, I didn’t gain much from these groups. People would tell stories of seeing a black panther 25 or 30 years ago, and they would have no pictures. Also, people would post pictures of black house cats, and try to make them look bigger than they actually were to fool people into believing they were panthers. After a couple weeks, I left the groups, but I did have some really good laughs in those couple weeks.

After talking with Ms. Kouger and perusing panther Facebook groups, I set out to talk with the Valleyans that have supposedly seen the big cat recently. I tracked down all five people, but two people declined to be interviewed. The three SRB residents that I talked with were adamant that they’d seen a black panther. All three people managed to get a picture of the cat.

I talked with Billy Ray Pheline first. Pheline said, “We were hanging out at the Strong River a couple weeks ago, and it was around dusk. We were getting ready to leave, and we heard something splashing in the river a ways off. We looked and that thing was swimming in the river. We couldn’t believe it! We watched it for about 30 seconds, and it got out of the water and ran off. We were able to get a picture of it drinking water before it ran off. Unbelievable! I didn’t believe in them, but now I do.”

Next, I was able to catch up with Khitty Jones. She said, “Recently, we’ve heard our dog playing with something in the back yard at night. We tried a couple times to see what it was, but we never saw anything. 3 nights ago, we finally saw what Buster was playing with. It was a black panther! Our jaws hit the floor when we finally saw it. Evidently, Buster and the panther have formed a friendship, and they like to play at night. We were able to get a picture before it ran off into the woods. It was so neat!”

Last, but not least, I talked with Jagwyre Black. Black said, “We’ve had a problem with a fox or other critters getting our chickens at night. But, we haven’t lost one in a while, and I wondered why because we haven’t changed anything. I think I figured it out. I’m pretty sure a black panther has been hanging out by our barn and coup, and I think it’s protecting our chickens. I know that sounds crazy. I saw it one evening by the barn, and I setup a game camera. Believe it or not, I was able to get a good picture of him about a week ago. People think I’m crazy, but it is what it is.”

At the SRVO, we just give you the facts, and let you decide. Do we have black panthers in MS and in The Valley? We’ll let you decide.

by Mack Speed

We had a great night at The Track Saturday night, and we had a big raucous crowd. I think it might’ve been the biggest crowd we’ve ever had. I noticed car tags from Warren, Attala, George counties and more, so there were some people that drove quite a ways to watch the SRVMRL.

We only had a couple small parking issues, and I think it was some out-of-towners that’ve never been to The Track. So, my parking guys are getting better, and all those Powerpoint presentations are paying off. Also, some people that didn’t make it to the first race of the season a couple weeks ago were very complimentary of the new bathrooms.

We had a ton of fans tailgating outside The Track. I noticed that most people are tailgating in groups according to their college football teams. So, we had the Ole Miss crew with their fancy chandelier and their catered food. Of course, they were dressed to the nine. Then, we had a lot of MSU fans tailgating together, but they all seemed to be a little down. Maybe it has something to do with their football team this year. You’d hear the occasional cowbell ringing, and then you’d hear a Hotty Toddy chant break out afterwards. We also had a gathering of USM fans. One group that really surprised me was some LSU fans; I guess most of them drove up from South MS. They were a small rowdy bunch. We even had one LSU fan dress up like Coach O, and he kept yelling “Geaux Tigahs.”

Rusty Moore and his sportsbook was popping! The sportsbook is setup in an old deer hunting shooting house. We just cut off the 4x4s on the corners so it rests on the ground. Maybe we’ll be able to get a little nicer one in the future. But, Rusty had his hands full, and that dude was busy. I’ve had multiple people complaining about his money lines; I’m sure he’ll get better with time. I think we’re going to have to ban racers and their family members from betting on the races. I think we might have some questionable wagers on the race Saturday night, and I have reason to believe one was the family member of a racer. I’ll conduct an investigation to find out.

The races were great this week. My boy, Dale Earnhardt Speed, won yet again. But, he did have some competition in this race. Juan Pablo Logano pushed him pretty hard and finished a close 2nd. Ricky Harvick was pushing Juan and Dale pretty hard until he had an engine issue. I’m hoping these boys will continue to push Dale, because it’s been a breeze for him since day one.

Now, to the main race. We had some controversy this week. Tony Johnson ended up winning the race; he stayed clean and ran a good hard race. But, Jimmie Stewart and Jeff Petty were going at it big time. Jimmie started bumping him on lap 1, and he really didn’t let up all night. It was almost like Jimmie didn’t care about winning the race; it looked like he just didn’t want Jeff to win. I guess Jimmie was trying to send a message that he didn’t like an upstart like Jeff winning the previous race. Luckily, Stewart and Petty didn’t get into a physical altercation after the race, but they did have words that couldn’t be used in Sunday school.

Also, Jimmie Stewart’s brother placed a big bet on Tony Johnson. That seems fishy, so we’re going to look into that. We’re probably going to have to ban racers and their family members placing bets on the races.

I appreciate everyone coming out to The Valley Motor Speedway Saturday night! We’ll see you again on Oct. 5th. Let’s have the biggest crowd yet.

by Ben BeEssen

Dr. Siggy Froyd is one of the most cited and respected psychiatrists in the U.S. He is the Director of Clinical Psychiatry at the Strong River Valley Regional Center (SRVRC). He has diagnosed 3 mental disorders, and he’s regularly cited in psychiatry journals and magazines. You’ll be hard-pressed to find a living psychiatrist with a better resume.

Froyd began focusing on adolescent psychiatry about 5 years ago. He realized American youth were suffering from more and more psychiatric issues, and he wanted to do what he could to help with these issues. Much of Froyd’s work has recently been focused on gender dysphoria among adolescents. He’s published many articles and papers on that issue. But, Froyd looked around the past couple years, and he observed a phenomenon that he felt needed his urgent attention.

Froyd said, “Last spring when the weather started warming, I noticed adolescents continued wearing hoodies in the warmer weather. I thought that was interesting. I continued observing these adolescents into the summer, and many continued to wear hoodies in 90 plus degree heat. I was baffled by this behavior, and I felt this needed to be examined further.”

Froyd organized a group of 3 of his trusted psychiatrists to begin a study to look at this issue. The study was able to observe 284 adolescents over a 12 month period that ended last month. After 12 months of observations and a lot of work by his psychiatrists, Froyd was able to diagnose a new mental illness- climate dysphoria disorder (CDD). Froyd and his team published a paper in the Journal of Adolescent Psychiatry, and now CDD is a recognized mental illness.

Froyd said, “It made no sense to me why these adolescents were wearing hoodies in the muggy hot summer weather of The Valley. There’s no way I could do it. My team and I observed that the adolescents continued wearing hoodies into the fall and winter, so they were wearing these hoodies year round. We wondered if maybe the hoodies were possibly made of light, breathable material, but they were not. The vast majority were cotton like the hoodies of old.

Froyd said, “We talked multiple times with all 284 of our subjects, and we observed all of them for at least 12 hours. We then organized all the data, and we found that we’d discovered a new mental illness. We published our findings in the Journal of Adolescent Psychiatry, and it’s been getting a ton of publicity. Currently, there is no clear cause for CDD, and there is no treatment plan for it. Also, it doesn’t harm the adolescents; they can always remove the hoodie or not wear one to begin with.”

Froyd said that parents dealing with kids with CDD have a couple remedies for the illness. He said parents could simply not buy hoodies for their kids, and they could remove hoodies from their kids’ closets when the weather begins to warm in the spring and summer.

Some Valley parents I talked with were glad to learn of Froyd’s discovery. One parent said, “I’m glad to know about this. I was worried about my son wearing a hoodie in 95 degree weather. I thought he was a complete moron, but now we know that he probably has CDD. I was worried, but this makes me feel a lot better. I will probably cut off the sleeves of one or two of his hoodies; they will be his summer hoodies. He’ll be looking like Bill Belichick, but that’s ok.”

Dr. Froyd and his colleagues will be working on a treatment protocol for CDD in the coming weeks and months. The SRVO will be here to bring it to you once it’s released.