All posts by srvobser

by Offe Hisczrocher

Susie Shrinkwayste has been into health and nutrition as long as she can remember. She remembers scolding her siblings for eating too much Halloween candy, and she also remembers reprimanding her parents for eating fried foods. She has always worked out and watched what she ate. After high school, Susie attended Central MS Tech, and she got a degree in health and nutrition. After graduating, she got her registered dietitian and nutritionist (RDN) certification, and she’s worked for multiple healthcare facilities in the Jackson area over the years. In addition to having her RDN certification, she is also a licensed personal trainer.

Recently, Shrinkwayste had gotten burnt out, and she’d been looking for a change of scenery. She has family in The Valley, and she visits them occasionally. Recently, they took her to a few of the local Valley restaurants. Shrinkwayste said, “These places had great food, but I noticed that some of the people in these establishments were overweight and unhealthy. I thought to myself that I can help the people of The Valley. I also noticed there was some office space available on Main St. in Valley City, so I decided to look into setting up an office in Valley City.”

Shrinkwayste found the perfect office space on Main St., and she immediately hit the ground running. The name of her business is Shrinkwayste Solutions. She’s been gaining clients in droves, and her clients love her. Susie said, “The food in The Valley is so good, but the majority of it is unhealthy. So, I have to have some difficult conversations with my clients. I limit their weekly visits to the local establishments. They can eat steak once per week, lunch buffet twice per week, one burger per week, and two deli visits per week, that’s it. Also, the ice cream shop is so darn good, but I limit my clients to only 2 visits per week. I know that’s tough, but you gotta do what you gotta do.”

Additionally, Shrinkwayste is a big proponent of exercising, so she insists that her clients walk or jog 5 days per week. Her clients have seen results, and they keep coming back for more. One client said, “Susie is great. I’ve lost 20 lbs. and my waistline has shrunk. But, she can be tough; the sprints up Main St. can be tough and a little embarrassing.”

Shrinkwayste has male and female clients, but the majority of her clients are men. It probably doesn’t hurt that Susie is 44, fit, and very attractive. One male client said, “Dude, she is hot. I’m probably going to be a longtime, loyal client. Some of my buds come see her too, and losing weight ain’t the main reason they go to her. Our wives aren’t too crazy about her.”

Mayor Ronald Bush said, “Susie has been great for Main St. and Valley City. Her business has a synergy with our restaurants. They help get her a lot of business, and she can help them with more healthy options. We’re glad to have her, and we look forward to her continuing to make an impact on the health of Valleyans.”

Shrinkwayste said, “I’m loving it here in Valley City and The Valley. I wished I’d opened up shop here years ago. I look forward to helping Valleyans for years to come. Y’all come see me on Main St.”

by Tre McGyver

Hello Valleyans! My name is Benjamin K. McGyver III, but everyone calls me Tre. I’m a lifelong Valleyan, and I live in Valley Meadows, a mobile home covenant community just outside of Valley City. I’ve lived in Valley Meadows for about 7 years, and I recently became the HOA president.

The former HOA president got a little lax on enforcing the HOA rules and regulations, so I’m trying my best to get the residents back in compliance. This means I’m loved by half the people and despised by the other half of the residents. But, I take the job seriously, and I’m going to what I have to do earn my $50 monthly salary and keep our community safe and clean.

I’m going to give y’all periodic updates on what’s going on in Valley Meadows. Y’all need to stay tuned and buckle up, because it’s going to be fun!

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

The SRB High faithful are excited about the upcoming football season, and now they have a reason to get even more excited. SRB is getting a live wolf mascot! They’ll be the only school in The Valley with a live mascot.

Principal Ryan Hollins said, “We’ve been wanting to get a live mascot for a while, and we finally found the one. We can’t wait to introduce him to the SRB fans. We’re very excited about what the wolf will add to our Friday night atmosphere.” School officials had been talking with multiple wolf sanctuaries, and they finally found “the one” at the South Central Alaska Wolf Sanctuary.

A sanctuary spokesperson said, “This is the first time we’ve adopted out a wolf to be a live mascot, and we’re thrilled to do it. We hope to do this more in the future.” SRB chose this particular wolf for multiple reasons. He has a laid back demeanor, and he’s very good with people. But, the main reason is the wolf has multiple natural maroon markings on his fur. The sanctuary spokesperson said, “This is only the 3rd wolf ever observed to have maroon markings, so it’s extremely rare.”

Principal Hollins said, “We came across multiple wolves we liked, but the maroon markings on this one did it for us. We immediately thought that this is “the one.” We’ll introduce him to the fans at Meet the Wolves Night before the season kicks off.”

Coach Jake Birdsong is going to have the responsibility of taking care of the wolf. The South Central Alaska Wolf Sanctuary agreed to pay $1,000 per year for 4 years for the care of the wolf. Also, Coach Birdsong will receive a $1,500 annual coaching supplement for the added responsibility. Birdsong said, “I’ve been taking care of him for 4 days now, and we hit it off immediately. I am looking forward to taking care of him. Right now, I just have to teach him to stop howling at 4 am. He’s been waking me and the neighbors up pretty early, but we’ll get that fixed.”

The SRB fans can’t wait to meet the wolf. It’s going to be interesting to see if other schools in The Valley try to copy SRB and get their own live mascot.

by Emma Embellischer

Smith County is renowned for their watermelons. People from across The Valley, Mississippi, and even the Southeast love some Smith County watermelons. During the summer, you can always get a fresh Smith Co. watermelon from multiple people selling them out of the beds of their trucks on Hwy. 49 and other spots in The Valley.

Johnny Waterseed has been pedaling Smith Co. watermelons and other produce on Hwy. 49 for years. He is a founding member of the Hwy. 49 Produce Salesmen Union. Waterseed has developed relationships with his fellow union members over the years, and they all get along well. However, Waterseed and some of the other watermelon salesmen have noticed some newcomers along Hwy. 49 this summer. Waterseed hasn’t had a good feeling about these new guys. He said, “Something is off with these guys. We’ve been running 49 for years, and they think they can come in and take business from us? I thought they were shysters from the get go.”

The new kids on the watermelon block were undercutting Waterseed and his cohorts on price. They were advertising the melons as Smith Co. watermelons too. Waterseed suspected they were not actually Smith Co. melons. Waterseed got his son to buy a melon from one of the newcomers to do a taste test. Waterseed said, “I know how a Smith Co. watermelon tastes, and this melon was not from Smith Co. I was 100% sure.”

Waterseed wasn’t going to let these watermelon shysters get away with false advertisement. He paid his son to follow one of the newcomers home one day; his son then followed the man the next morning. Waterseed was correct. The man was buying watermelons in Louisiana, and then driving back to Hwy. 49 to sell them. Waterseed paid his son to repeat the process with another newcomer, and that salesman was doing the same thing. His son took multiples photos and videos of the men.

Waterseed contacted the Central MS Ag Crime Task Force about the false advertisement of his new competitors. Special Agent Peter Sellers took the case. He repeated the same process as Waterseed’s son, and he also took photos of the melon salesmen. Agent Sellers then questioned the two men, and the two men confessed to false advertisement. They also told agent Sellers 3 more men were in the new watermelon syndicate, and Sellers also got these 3 men to come clean also. The 5 newcomers were fined $250 each, and they all agreed to cease and desist selling watermelons on Hwy. 49. Sellers said, “We take fruit and vegetable false advertisement very seriously. I’ve worked on some pretty sophisticated food cases over the years, but this was not one. These guys were morons. This was my easiest investigation ever.”

Waterseed was pleased with the outcome of the investigation. “Us 49 watermelon salesmen are a brotherhood, and we’re not gonna let shysters take business from us. They’re lucky we contacted law enforcement; it wouldn’t have been good if we would’ve told the union bosses about this.”

Waterseed has had a great summer so far. He’s been selling out almost daily. I asked Waterseed to disclose his financials, but he declined to do so. He said, “The bottom line is the bottom line though, because Uncle Sam and the state ain’t getting jack.”

by Emma Embellischer

Electric vehicles (EVs) are becoming more popular across the country. Tesla is the leading EV maker in the U.S., but other vehicle manufacturers are making headway in the market. Right now, less than 1% of vehicles in The Valley are EVs, but that number will surely grow over time. EV owners in The Valley got great news this week as a new, state-of-the-art EV charging station is being built in the Leaning Pine community.

E.T. Shockley has been a Tesla owner for 5 years now, and he loves his Tesla. Shockley said, “I was the first person in our area to get a Tesla, and people thought I was crazy. Most still think I’m crazy, but that’s ok. A big problem for us EV owners is a lack of charging stations in rural areas. I decided to change that.” Shockley lives on Hwy. 81 in Leaning Pine in southwest Smith County. His charging station will have 7 charging ports that will fit all EVs.

Shockley said, “EV adoption is going to be slow in The Valley. These people love their gas guzzling trucks and SUVs, and EV owners have a certain stigma. But, I’m doing my part to save our planet. If you build it, they will come right? My goal is to have a mini Buc-ee’s for EV owners.”

Shockley’s facility is going to have a plethora of amenities in addition to the charging station. He’s going to have a coffee shop and restaurant. His signature dishes are going to be the avocado toast and tofu. It will also have a very nice lounge area with televisions and free wifi similar to an airport, and Shockley hopes this will be a magnet for area freelance artists and writers. It will also have a play area for kids.

I talked to a few Leaning Pine residents about the facility. One resident said, “E.T. is full of crap, and he’s wasting his money. Nobody around here drives a stupid EV.” Another area resident said, “I won’t be using his charging station, but I might try the avocado toast. I’ll have to get it to go though; I don’t want any of my buddies seeing me eat it.”

Shockley plans to start construction in the next few weeks. The facility will bring around 10 jobs to the area, and Shockley is excited about that. He said, “I’m glad to bring jobs to The Valley, and I’m glad to do my part to save the planet.” We’ll keep you updated on the facility’s progress in the coming months.

by I. B. Lyon

Pete Pitchlynn and his wife Jan have always had dark skin with a red tint, and both have always wondered if they Native American blood. Pete was even given the nickname of Geronimo as a youngster. Neither ever looked into their heritage until about a year ago. They received 23 and me tests for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day gifts, and they both found out they have Choctaw Indian DNA. They dug a little deeper, and discovered that they’re both 1/16 Choctaw. Jan joked, “I’m more Native American than Elizabeth Warren.”

They started reading Choctaw Indian history, and they found out there was a band of Choctaw Indians that lived in The Valley called the Six Towns. More than likely, Pete’s ancestors were Six Towns. Not long after learning about their Indian heritage and reading about the Six Towns, the Pitchlynns had an epiphany. Pete said, “We can make a fortune. Let’s build a horse racing track and a casino. We can probably get funding because we’re Indians.”

The Pitchlynns made some calls and did some research on tribal lands. They own land on Hwy. 94 in between Six Town Hollow and Valley City, and they were able to get the State of MS and the Choctaw Tribal Council to recognize their property as tribal land. Since it was recognized as tribal land, they could build a horse track and casino. Additionally, the Pitchlynns got the MS Band of Choctaw Indians to finance their venture in exchange for 75% of the profits in perpetuity.

Pete and Jan immediately started planning to build the facility. The planning process has taken about 11 months, but they’re finally ready to start construction this month. Pete said, “The past 11 months have been hectic, but we’re ready to get this party started. We’re so excited to bring this facility to The Valley. It’s going to be called Six Town Downs & Casino.”

The horse track is going to be a mini version of Churchill Downs in Louisville, KY, the home of the Kentucky Derby. The track will seat around 15,000 spectators, and they look to add multiple races. The Pitchlynns hope the horse racing will draw spectators from across the Southeast. Jan said, “The track is going to be sweet! There’s not going to be another facility like it in the state. It’s going to be a big draw.”

The casino is going to be small compared to the casinos on the MS Gulf Coast, Tunica, and the Pearl River Resort in Philadelphia. But, it’s going to have plenty of amenities and gaming options just like the larger casinos in the state.

Both facilities combined expect to add about 75 jobs to The Valley, so the development should have a big economic impact on The Valley. Many residents in The Valley are excited about the development. One resident said, “I can’t wait for this man. I’m going to be able to play blackjack and bet on horse racing in The Valley! This is so awesome!”

The construction is expected to take 12-15 months. Motorists traveling along Hwy. 94 in the coming weeks and months will be able to monitor the progress.

by Ima Phibber

Vacation Bible School is something that Southern Baptist churches have been doing for generations. Many churches go all out with decorations, costumes, and more. The kids can’t wait for VBS each year; they love learning about Jesus, singing, dancing, and doing crafts. The biggest draw of course is the Kool-Aid and cookies. They say you can’t have VBS without Kool-Aid and cookies.

The 2nd Baptist Church of Valley City decided to go all out this year. Many 2nd Baptist members feel like they always play second fiddle to the other churches in the area, and they always have fewer kids at their VBS than other area churches. So, the 2nd Baptist VBS director, Pyra Mayniac, decided to go all out this year for VBS and outdo the other churches in the area. Her VBS budget was quadrupled this year, and she was given carte blanche to do whatever she wanted.

2nd Baptist put up signs advertising VBS all around the community. They ruffled some feathers because they put their signs right next to the Valley City Methodist Church’s (VCMC) signs, and 2nd Baptist’s signs were much larger. 2nd Baptist also rented an ice cream truck, and they traveled around the community offering ice cream to kids if they’d attend VBS. One Valley City resident said, “This is so sad that 2nd Baptist is bribing kids to attend VBS. They’re trying to get parents and grandparents to start coming to their church too. I heard they’re telling adults they don’t have to tithe for 3 months if they start coming to their church. So sad!”

2nd Baptist’s VBS was typical, but the big draw was the nightly fireworks show. It was a big hit. Not only did they have a record number of kids this year, but they also had many people from other area churches attending the nightly fireworks shows. Everything went great until the last night’s fireworks show.

Ms. Mayniac allowed her son to handle the fireworks the final night, and he’d never done it before. He made a mistake of having all the fireworks too close to the church building. About 45 seconds into the show, a bystander noticed that the church had caught fire. The fire was put out before the fire department arrived, but there was a good bit of damage to the sanctuary.

Ms. Mayniac said, “I was on cloud nine because the whole week had gone great. We were finally going to outshine the other churches in the area, and then the fire happened. It was crushing and humiliating. I guess I had gotten a little too proud. As the Bible says, pride cometh before a fall.”

The sanctuary will be restored in the coming weeks, and 2nd Baptist expects the work to take about 8 weeks. In the meantime, VCMC extended an offer to 2nd Baptist to have joint services at their church, and 2nd Baptist has agreed to join them as a sign of unity. Mayniac said, “I’m so glad they’re letting us worship with them; this will help unify our little community. God works in mysterious ways as they say. It’s so good this unfortunate event has a happy ending. But, we won’t be baptizing anyone at VCMC; we dunk, we don’t sprinkle.”

by Ben BeEssen

Bald eagle sightings in The Valley were very rare until recently. A bald eagle has taken up residence in the dome of the Simpson County Courthouse of all places. County employees noticed the bird hanging around the dome a few weeks back, and it has now built a nest in the dome. Downtown Mendenhall has already been abuzz lately, see our recent article, and the eagle is attracting even more visitors.

Mendenhall Mayor Rod Ruth said, “The eagle has been attracting a lot of out-of-state travelers to downtown Mendenhall; many people are making a stop off Hwy. 49 going to or coming from the Gulf Coast to see the bird. Many area residents are coming to catch a glimpse as well. So, we have no plans of removing the bird from the courthouse. It’s been very good for Mendenhall.”

With July 4th coming up, Mendenhall officials came up with a great way to celebrate the eagle, Mendenhall, July 4th, and the good ole USA. Mendenhall officials reached out to singer, Lee Greenwood, to do a July 4th themed concert in front of the courthouse. Lee’s schedule is not as full as years past, and he agreed to do a concert. The event will be at 7:00 pm on June 31st.

Mayor Ruth said, “This will be a patriotic event to celebrate our great country, Mendenhall, the eagle, and God. Y’all bring your lawn chairs and come out for a good time.”

One area resident said, “This is so cool. I just hope the eagle flies around the dome while Lee is singing “God Bless the USA.” Can you imagine how incredible that would be? It gives me chills just thinking about it. #Merica baby!”

The City of Mendenhall expects a big crowd, and they expect a big economic impact from the event as well.

by I. B. Lyon

Exciting news was announced yesterday about a new aquarium and petting zoo coming to the Strong River Valley. The aquarium and petting zoo will be built in D’Lo on the Strong River; the property was acquired from a private land owner. The funding is being provided by a federal grant and the Central MS EcoAlliance, and the total cost of the facility will be approximately $5.5 million. Construction will start within the month, and it’s expected to be completed by August of 2024. The facility will be named The Strong River Valley Aquarium & Petting Zoo.

The state of the art facility will be approximately 9,500 square feet, and it will house multiple exhibits. The exhibits will showcase all the fish and wildlife of The Valley. The main attraction will probably be Rusty the river otter. You can expect to see plenty of catfish, a few alligators, some water moccasins, and plenty more. The petting zoo will be situated right next to the aquarium, and it will have cows, ponies, goats, rabbits, and more.

The facility will bring about 35 full time jobs to The Valley, and they will also need volunteers. Jane Irwin Cousteau, the PR director for the facility, said, “We’re so excited about opening this facility in The Valley. It’s going to be one of the nicest freshwater aquariums in the South, and the petting zoo is the icing on the cake. It’s going to bring jobs and a lot of tourists and visitors to The Valley.”

D’Lo mayor, Don Berry Henry, talked with us about the facility. He said, “This is going to be great for D’Lo and The Valley. I can’t wait to see how it grows and improves our community. This is going to put D’Lo back on the map. We’re moving on up!”

Valley residents are thrilled about the news, and they can’t wait to visit the facility next year.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Simpson Christian Academy (SCA) just announced that they will be building a domed football stadium. They received a large donation of $55 million from an unnamed source, and the donor’s only stipulation was that they build a domed stadium.

An SCA board spokesperson told me, “We’re so grateful for this donation. This will allow us to build a state of the art stadium that will be the best in the state and one of the best high school facilities in the nation. It’s definitely going to raise our profile in The Valley and across the state.”

I was able to see renderings of the new stadium, and it will be very similar to the FARGODOME. The FARGODOME is in Fargo, ND, and it’s the home of the mighty North Dakota St. Bison. SCA’s dome will seat approximately 10,000, and it will be equipped with a large jumbotron. It will also have premium seating for large donors and supporters of SCA Athletics. Additionally, it will have a second to none weight room and training facility that will be equipped with pool and ping pong tables, video game consoles, and even a barber shop.

Construction will begin on the new stadium this month, and it is expected to be completed next summer in time for the 2024 football season.

The SCA spokesperson also said, “This new stadium will also be used for concerts and other events. It will open up a ton of possibilities and potential revenue streams for SCA.” The spokesperson said they’ve already reached out to a few acts including Florida-Georgia Line and Nickelback about booking shows late next year or in 2025.

I reached out to a few current SCA football players, and they were very excited. One player said, “This is so awesome. Next year is going to be lit dude! I can’t wait to get a fresh haircut every week!”

Some SCA stakeholders aren’t thrilled about the new stadium though. One parent said, “$55 million on a domed stadium! Are you kidding? I don’t care what the donor stipulated. Some of that money needs to be used on classrooms and our other facilities. We need a performing arts center on campus; I want to be able to watch plays at SCA. It’s all about sports though. I can tell you one thing, they better not increase tuition!”

I’m sure everyone in The Valley will be keeping an eye on the progress of this state of the art facility in the coming weeks and months.