Christmas Office Party Turns Violent
Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. The lights, the music, the food, the gifts; I could go on and on. The Christmas office party has become something that most look forward to this time of year as well. Everyone brings their spouse, and everyone enjoys a good festive meal. There may or may not be a little alcohol involved, and everyone has a great time.
As you know, The Valley Chronicle is our competitor, and we’ve developed quite a rivalry. We don’t like them, and they don’t like us. Let’s be honest, they’re jealous of us. They’ve been the only game in town for 75 plus years, and they don’t like that we’ve come on the seen and upset the apple cart. The Chronicle is known to go all out for their Christmas party, and this year was no different. They had a fine catered meal with a full bar; it was super nice. In case you’re wondering, I have a lady friend at the Chronicle that feeds me info. Everything was wonderful until they started playing Dirty Santa.
Johnny Crunk is the longtime President of The Valley Chronicle, and his wife is Karen Crunk. She is a well known socialite in The Valley, and she never misses a good party. So, the meal was over, and they started playing Dirty Santa. Everyone was having a great time until Susie Steele stole Karen’s gift. My source said that Karen had had a little too much egg nog, and she was in great spirits until her gift was stolen. Susie told my source, “Hey! Watch this!” Evidently Susie knew that it might set Karen off, and it definitely did.
Karen’s facial expression and disposition instantly changed. She said, “I can’t believe that heifer took my gift.” Susie heard her, and that set her off. Susie said, “Yeah, I took your gift. What you gonna do about it? This is Dirty Santa you know.” Evidently, these two ladies don’t like each other, and they recently had a verbal altercation at another party. Before anyone could blink, the two middle aged women were face to face yelling at each other. Let’s just say you couldn’t use the words they were using in Sunday school. It all came to a head when Karen put her finger in Susie’s face. Susie pushed Karen, and then it was on like Donkey Kong. They were going at it! Hair was pulled, clothes almost came off, and both ended up on the floor rolling around. I do have video of the altercation, but I want to continue to live, so I won’t be releasing it.
After a few moments, the scuffle was broken up. But, the police were called, and the party came to an abrupt halt. No charges were filed, but it was a big embarrassment for the Chronicle and the Crunk family. And, now everyone in The Valley and the world gets to hear about it! If you haven’t already, you need to ditch your Chronicle subscription, and get your news from the SRVO!
Valleyans, don’t be a Karen or Susie this Christmas season. We have so much to be joyful and thankful for this Christmas season. Lay off the egg nog at your office Christmas party. And, remember that Jesus is the reason for the season!
MERRY CHRISTMAS Valleyans!