Climate Change Protest at Strong River Bend 4-Way

by Ima Phibber

Most Valleyans don’t believe in man-made climate change, and they think of climate change activists as left-wing wackos. However, 4 brave souls dared to protest against man-made climate change at the Strong River Bend (SRB) 4-way stop yesterday, and their protest didn’t go over too well. The 4 protesters are members of the South Central MS Green Alliance.

The protesters started protesting during rush hour around 7:00 am yesterday morning at the 4-way stop. They held up signs about the evils of fossil fuels and the horrors of gas stoves. The protesters picketed until around 8:30, and they felt drivers didn’t pay attention to them. They got a few honks, and a few motorists flipped them the bird. One protester said, “We didn’t feel like we accomplished much during the morning, so we decided to up the ante during the afternoon rush hour. We decided to lay down in the highway to raise awareness. We knew that was risky, but it had to be done.”

Most drivers just drove around the protesters while they laid at the intersection, and many motorists honked and yelled obscenities at the protesters. However, multiple people exited their vehicles and forcibly removed the protesters. One protester told me, “This guy grabbed me by shirt and drug me to the side of the highway, and my shirt tore. These people in The Valley are savages!” One motorist said, “These idiots gotta realize this ain’t San Francisco. I’m not gonna let these idiots hold me up from getting home. I nicely asked him to get up and move out of the way, but he refused. So, I grabbed him by his shirt and drug him out of the highway.”

Farmer “Mean” Joe Green roughed up one of the male protesters. Green was in his tractor, and he stopped in front of the protester and honked the horn. The protester refused to move, so Green got out and kicked the protester multiple times. The protester got up and called him a derogatory term, and Green punched the protester in the face. Green said, “That moron better be glad I was in a good mood today. If I would’ve been in a bad mood, I probably would’ve ran over him. I bet these morons don’t come back to SRB. I did a favor for Valleyans.” Green was charged with assault and battery, but the charges were dropped.

One protester said, “We probably won’t come back to The Valley. We felt our lives were in danger. It’s just so sad. These people just don’t care that they’re destroying the planet.”