How to Survive Thanksgiving Dinner

by srvobser Uncategorized

by Carl “Bull” Crapper

America is more polarized politically than ever. Over the past 10-12 years, it has gotten dramatically worse. The political polarization has torn apart families and long time friendships. Differing views on covid caused a lot of division among families and friends as well. It’s very sad. In many cases, people believe that members of the opposing political party are their enemies. It’s just become so divisive and ugly. I could write a book on this, but I don’t have time for that. However, I can give you advice on how to survive Thanksgiving dinner this year.

Thanksgiving has become very stressful for many people and families. Because of politics, many people have stopped getting together with family on Thanksgiving. And, because of politics, many Thanksgiving gatherings have turned into Jerry Springer or Maury Povich episodes. Let’s not let this happen this Thanksgiving.

Most of our SRVO readers are Trump supporters, and y’all are on cloud nine after the election. Y’all need to take the high ground this Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don’t spike the football on your family or friends. Below, I’ve lined out my ways to survive this Thanksgiving. If we all abide by these items, we will not only survive Thanksgiving, but we just might be able to heal and unite our great nation.

  • Do not wear a Make America Great Again hat
  • Do not wear a Let’s Go Brandon shirt
  • Do not wear a trash bag on your person
  • Do not wear an orange or yellow safety vest to have the appearance of a trash/garbage worker.
  • Do not rent a garbage truck to drive to your Thanksgiving gathering.
  • Before the festivities begin, openly apologize for your pro Trump and anti Harris messages and memes in the family group text and/or family Facebook group or GroupMe group. Be apologetic and humble.
  • Do not say “What can be, unburdened by what has been.”
  • Do not intentionally speak in Kamala word salads. Be concise and to the point, but don’t repeat yourself like Trump. You might even want to refrain from saying the word great.
  • Do not say the names Joe Rogan and/or Elon Musk, and you might not want to say anything about your relative’s Tesla.
  • Do not mention Peanut the squirrel and/or Fred the raccoon.
  • Do not mention the country of Ukraine.
  • Do not say the words border and/or illegals.
  • During times of silence, remind yourself not to mention anything political. Resist the temptation.
  • One more name not to mention- RFK, Jr.
  • If you’re a male, do not ask if there are tampons in the bathroom.
  • If you manage to keep it together, do not let your guard down at the end of the gathering. See it through to the end. Maintain your composure!
  • As you’re leaving, do not put a pro Trump or anti Harris sticker or magnet on your relatives vehicle. If you purchased them, throw them away now.

I hope this helps you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family! God bless you and yours and God bless America!