Archives January 2025

by I. B. Lyon

Stanley cups or tumblers are all the rage these days. Every young girl either has a Stanley cup or really wants one. This has led to some companies manufacturing Stanley knockoffs or lookalikes, but none of these have really caught on. A Valley company called Rodney is now challenging Stanley.

Stanley cup or tumblers are very durable and functional cups, and that’s why people love them. Plus, they come in many fun colors, and many women on social media promote them. This has caused their sales to go through the roof. But, there are a couple issues with Stanley cups. The price point- they’re pretty expensive. And, the fact that they’re made in China is another issue.

Valley electrician, Stu Cupp, has decided to take on the behemoth Stanley. Cupp has always used a thermos or tumbler cup to hold his coffee and sweet tea. Cupp said, “Back in the day, I used the old school Stanley thermos; these young girls don’t know anything about that. More recently, I used a Yeti cup until they went woke. My wife fell into the Stanley Quencher rage, and she bought three of them. After that, I decided I was going to start my own tumbler company. Why not?”

Cupp had to find ways to differentiate himself from Stanley and other companies in the marketplace. Cupp said, “First off, my cups had to be tough as nails. They had to be indestructible. Stanley’s cups are 18/8 stainless steel, but my cups are going to be 20/10 stainless steel. Chemists and engineers said I wouldn’t be able to do 20/10, but I got it done. Also, every part of my cups were going to be made in America. I worked on my prototype for months, and I finally finished it a few months ago. I’m going to have two sizes, 24 oz. and 40 oz. I’m proud of what I’ve done, and the future looks very bright.”

When thinking of a name for his company, Cupp wanted something that embodied grit and toughness. Cupp’s pet raccoon, Rodney, kept coming to mind. Cupp rescued Rodney as a baby 4 years ago; his mom and siblings had been ran over. Rodney had a broken leg, and he was in really bad shape. Cupp didn’t know if Rodney was going to make it, but he survived. Cupp said, “Rodney is the toughest thing I’ve ever seen. He’s a survivor. He’ll take on any animal; my dogs and cats don’t mess with him. So, after a while, I decided I was going to honor Rodney and name the company after him.”

Cupp realizes he’s facing an uphill battle in challenging Stanley. They generated $750 million in sales in 2023 alone. Cupp said, “You gotta start somewhere right? My wife and I have traveled around to multiple trade shows in the past couple months, and we’ve sold 79 units. She’s been promoting the cups on social media, and it’s been getting some traction. We’ve sold a lot of cups from social media. I did a video of Rodney drinking water out of one, and that was a big hit. I’m really going to have to step up the social media game though. So, I’m looking for good looking women and manly men with a minimum of 1,000 followers on Tiktok and Instagram. We want to market to men too, not just women. I’m going to need some manly hunters and outdoorsmen to market to that demographic. We’ll pay you $25 to do a post for us. That’s how you promote stuff these days, and all it takes is one post to go viral.”

Cupp has gotten into a few local retailers including The Riz Men’s Store, Loco Lulu’s Boutique, and Bougie Bertha’s, and he plans to expand even further into more retailers. Cupp wants to sell online in addition to retailers, and he’s working on his online store to get it where he wants it.

Cupp said, “Y’all give Rodneys a chance! They’re more durable than Stanleys, and they’re made here in The Valley and America. Plus, they’re cheaper than Stanleys. I feel good about what I’ve created, and I hope to become a household brand. I hope to see young girls and boys sipping out of a Rodney in the future!”

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

For those of you that go to the gym regularly, you know people taking workout selfies has gotten a little out of hand. For those of you that don’t work out, I’m sure you’ve seen videos or pictures on social media of people taking obscene and obnoxious selfies and videos inside the gym. Some people are basically having photo sessions for Instagram and Tiktok instead of actually working out. This is annoying and distracting to the old school people that just go to the gym to workout.

Strong River Bend Fitness owner Richard Simmons has decided to do something about this issue, and he has enacted a new strict cell phone policy. Photos or videos are no longer allowed in the main gym area. However, he has built a new workout room where cell phones are allowed; this room has mirrors on all four walls. Simmons said, “This trend of gym goers taking pics and videos for social media has gotten out of control. Also, the clothes or lack of clothes on some women has become very distracting as well. Some of my members kept complaining about it to me, so I decided to do something about it. If you want to take selfies, you can go in the cell phone room and take as many as your heart desires.”

Gym members that are caught taking selfies or videos in the main gym area will receive a warning, and they will be banned for 6 months for a second offense. A third offense will result in a permanent ban. Simmons said, “I guess we have a 3 strikes and your out policy. We’ll post multiples signs in the gym to make people aware of our policy. I hope people will comply, because I don’t want a bunch of calls and texts from members tattle tailing on other members. And, I don’t want to have to check security cameras to see if people are violating the new rule.”

The members I talked with had mixed feelings about the new cell phone policy. One young female member said, “I’m not happy about this new rule. I’m trying to build my social media following, and my followers love my workout selfies and videos. I’m up to 3,000 followers on Tiktok and I’m starting to make money, but this new rule is going to make it harder for me. I feel like I’m being put in timeout or something. The cell phone room doesn’t have near the equipment as the main gym area; this is not good.”

An older male gym member said, “I’m so glad Richard made this new rule. These young people just want to come in here and hangout and take selfies. They get in my way all the time. Look, I’m here to workout, not be part of your photo session. Plus, the clothes that some of these attention seeking young women wear has gotten out of hand. Now, I won’t have to worry about this crap anymore, and I’m pretty happy about that.”

It will interesting to see how this new cell phone policy goes. Will it attract more members to Strong River Bend Fitness, or will it hurt their membership? Will more gyms follow Strong River Bend Fitness? We’ll touch base with Simmons and give you and update a few months from now.

by Emma Embellischer

The incoming Trump Administration plans to hit the ground running, and a major emphasis for them is to cut government spending and waste. To do that, they have formed the Dept. of Government Efficiency or DOGE. DOGE is being headed by Tesla founder Elon Musk and presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy, and they’ve already been making headlines for highlighting the absurd items and programs our federal government wastes money on.

DOGE has evidently inspired Ghittar Dunn. He recently made headlines for spearheading the effort to make daylight saving time permanent in Valley County; you can read that story HERE. Some would say that Dunn is on a heater. Now, he has led an effort to form the County Government Efficiency Commission or CGEC. Like DOGE, CGEC will be led by leaders outside of county government to avoid any conflicts of interest and actually get something done.

CGEC will be led by local business owners Billy Slasher and Johnny Cuttar. Slasher owns Slasher Grocery and Cuttar owns the Cuttar Accounting Firm. Both men are well known and well respected people in Valley County. Slasher and Cuttar will start meeting and collaborating next week, and they will talk with the board of supervisors at the February meeting. They plan to present a plan to the board in May.

Dunn said, “As soon as I heard about DOGE, I knew we had have a DOGE for Valley County. There is a lot of wasteful spending in our county, and it needs to be stopped. It’s been talked about for a long time, but no one ever really wants to tackle the issue. I had to drag the other supervisors kicking and screaming to get CGEC done, but it’s done. I think DOGE will do some great things at the federal level, and I hope CGEC will do the same for Valley County.”

Slasher and Cuttar have been doing some preliminary work for CGEC. Cuttar said, “I’ve been talking with some of the county administrative staff and employees, and they’ve provided some good info to me. I know the supervisors and other elected officials aren’t crazy about CGEC, because they know some cuts are coming. But, we’re going to do what’s best for Valley County and our sustainability going forward.”

Slasher said, “I’ve been talking with some of the garbage, road dept. and maintenance guys, and I’ve learned a lot that I didn’t know. I had no idea a couple of our supervisors and elected officials get multiple loads of gravel for their driveways and hunting camps each year. Well, that’s going to stop! We’re just getting started! This is going to get interesting.”

Cuttar and Slasher said they were going to be talking with county office school workers, staff, and teachers next, so Valley County Schools will probably not be immune from cuts too.

I talked to multiple Valley County residents, and they were happy about CGEC. One resident said, “My cousin works down at the court house, and she tells me about some of the stuff they waste money on. I know the county pays for two of the judge’s country club dues. Plus, one judge just got $20K of new furniture for his office. I was also told they go on multiple team building retreats each year to the Gulf Coast on the county’s dime. This stuff needs to stop.”

Another Valley County resident said, “One of the supervisors lives down the road from me, so I know a few things. Why is his country truck lifted with rims, and why does it have tinted windows? Who paid for that? Also, he got his long driveway paved by our county workers during the week. Did he pay for that? Plus, I know his brother-in-law got a lucrative contract to do some work for the county. We got to do something about this wasteful spending, and I hope CGEC will get it done.”

The SRVO will keep you updated on CGEC, and we’ll be sure to cover their final report in March.

by Heeza de Seaver

The Strong River Bend (SRB) 4-way stop is at the crossroads of Hwy. 81 and Hwy. 31, and it can get pretty busy at times. You have drivers coming through the intersection from 4 different counties coming to and from work each day. There’s rarely an accident or issue at the 4-way stop until this Tuesday. Somehow, there was a 4 car pile up this Tuesday morning, and SRB officials are still scratching their heads as to how it happened.

I was able to talk with SRB police chief Barney Kojak. He said, “We’re still in the process of investigating the accident and gathering evidence and testimonies from witnesses and those involved. But, I just don’t understand how it happened. It’s just mind-boggling. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

I was able to speak with two of the drivers involved in the accident, and they will remain anonymous because of the ongoing investigation. A 45 year old man involved said, “I was the second person to stop; an elderly lady stopped before me. I motioned for her to come on, but she didn’t go. So, I started to go, and then she stomps on it and turns and hits me on the front driver’s side of my truck. I couldn’t believe it! I think people over age 75 should have to take the driver’s test each year to make sure they’re still competent enough to drive. There ain’t no way this old lady wouldn’t have passed.”

A 16 year old female driver involved in the accident said, “I’m going to honest with you; I was texting a friend when I pulled up to the 4-way. I know I shouldn’t be doing that, but I was. I won’t be doing it anymore, I promise you that. I looked and two other cars stopped before me, so I looked down to finish my text. I glanced up and waited a second, and I started to go. Then, 2 of the vehicles collided, and the noise scared me to death. So, I accidentally hit the gas instead of the brake, and there you go. I was so upset, because I knew my dad was going to want to kill me.”

I was also able to speak to an eyewitness who heard and saw the accident as she was leaving the Dollar General. She said, “I was walking out of DG, and I heard a loud noise. I looked over at the 4 way, and I saw the two vehicles involved. Then, I couldn’t believe it when the young girl ran into the car. If I had to bet, she was probably texting or on Tiktok. Then, I saw the other car try to drive around the accident, and the elderly lady backed into that car. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I just started laughing. A 4 car pile up at the SRB 4 way? No way! I thought I that I was in the middle of a dream.”

Luckily, no one was hurt in the accident. 4-way stops can occasionally be tricky propositions, but no one could’ve imagined this. I was able to speak to world renowned statistician, Flo Nightingale, about the probability of an accident like this happening at an intersection like the SRB 4 way. She did some calculations, and she told me there was a 1 in 34,497,713 chance that an accident like this could happen.

This accident will surely go down in Valley lore for decades to come. Some people have already started coming up with nicknames for the accident- Melee at the 4-Way, Bedlam at the Bend, and more. We’ll see which one will stick. Be careful out there Valleyans!

by Ben BeEssen

It seems like everything has become politicized these days. In the past, most companies and organizations tried to stay out of politics, and most companies tried to avoid controversial issues. Most felt it was bad for business because they could potentially alienate some of their customer base. Over the past 10 years or so, that has changed. Many companies and organizations have gladly jumped off into the culture wars of our day.

One issue that has been very controversial is the adding of preferred pronouns to email signatures and social media profiles. Many of you have probably received an email from someone that has their preferred pronouns listed in their email signature. I have, and it was pretty surprising the first time I saw it. Some of you probably have connections on LinkedIn that have their preferred pronouns listed as well. Of course, this doesn’t happen in The Valley, but it does happen in more liberal areas of the country.

One Valley company has decided to jump into the culture wars, and they have come in with guns a blazing. Burly Billy’s Beef Jerky is a well known snack company in The Valley. They’re known for their beef jerky, but they also manufacture many different snacks. You can find their products in stores across The Valley, Mississippi, and the South. Burly Billy’s employs about 20 people, and they have only one female employee- Ms. Judy. They are proudly patriotic, and the company is not shy about making their views known.

Burly Billy’s is making waves now because of what they’ve done with their employees’ email signatures. They have strongly encouraged their employees to add personal information to their email name lines and email signatures. Sales reps are encouraged to add their golf handicap and their lowest golf score ever, and the production and maintenance employees are encouraged to add their max bench press and max squat numbers. The employees’ email signatures will look similar to the ones in the picture below.

Owner Billy Burnside said, “I have seen that some liberal idiots add their pronouns to their email signatures, and I thought that was so stupid. I decided to have a little fun and go the total opposite direction. I wanted to make waves, and I wanted our company to show the world that we support being manly men. Our company is going to display our toxic masculinity for everyone to see. I thought it would be fun for our pretty boy sales guys to show off their golf handicaps and low scores, and I thought it would be awesome for our rough and tough production and maintenance guys to display their weightlifting numbers. I hope it makes the the libs wine and cry, and I hope other companies will follow suit!”

Burly Billy’s sale consultant, Chad Sellers, said, “I think this is a great idea. Burly Billy’s has great products, and people love them. But, this move will generate a lot of buzz for our company, and it will help me get in even more doors. That means more sales and more commission for me baby! Unfortunately, my golf game isn’t very good; I only play about 2-3 times per year. So, I’ll have to lie about my numbers. Heck, what is a golf handicap anyway?”

Burly Billy’s assembly line manager, Henry Ford, said, “I really like this idea. It’s going to set us apart in the marketplace, and it’s going to get us a lot of publicity. There’s no such thing as bad publicity right? My guys are going to have a lot of fun with it. I’m sure some guys will inflate their weightlifting numbers, and some of the guys will have to start working out. Heck, we may have to add a rack in the facility for the guys to workout on during their breaks.”

I’m sure this will generate a lot of publicity for Burly Billy’s. It seems like there’s been a pretty significant shift to the right in the culture wars lately. It will be interesting to see how people react to this move by Burly Billy’s, and it will interesting to see if other companies follow their lead.