Archives 2024

by Ima Phibber

Donald Buffett is a well known business owner and real estate investor in The Valley. Buffett’s primary business is a body shop, but he also owns a mobile home park, RV park, laundromat, vape shop, and more. He recently formed DG Ventures, LLC, and it’s going to be a very unique real estate investment firm.

Buffett plans to acquire rural properties in and around The Valley that would be ideal spots for new Dollar General stores. Buffett said, “I’ve always had a knack for buying properties at low prices that turn out to be prime properties in the future. I was driving down the road the other day, and I noticed they’d built a Dollar General out in the middle of nowhere. I thought about the person that owned that land probably made a killing. Then, I decided that I was going to start buying property in rural areas that would be prime properties for the next Dollar General. I may be a little late to the party, but I think I can do it.”

Buffett has made contact with the Dollar General corporate office about his plans. They appreciated his interest, but they made no commitments to him and DG Ventures, LLC. Buffett said, “I managed to get through to their real estate guy, but he really didn’t have a whole lot to say. I asked him where they were looking to add stores in MS, and he wouldn’t tell me. I even tried to bribe him with two months of free rent in my RV park. So, I’m just going to have to go on my intuition on this, but I think I can do it.”

Buffett has contacted multiple farmers and land owners in rural areas of The Valley and Central MS, but he hasn’t acquired any property as of the publication of this story. He said, “You know the old saying- Build it and they will come? Well, I’m going to change it up. For me, it’s going to be- Buy it and they will come.”

Buffett’s plan seems to be a tough proposition. The Valley and surrounding areas are already flush with Dollar Generals. I heard they just built one on the moon, but I haven’t verified that. We’ll keep in touch with Buffett and his unique firm, and update you periodically.

by Heeza de Seaver

Goat yoga has taken off in many areas of the country. I guess it’s not enough to just stretch and bend your body in preposterous painful ways. Now, you need to put a small goat on your back while you’re doing it. I don’t understand it, but it’s becoming more and more popular.

Nanny Ridge Farms has been operating a successful goat farm for about 15 years in The Valley. They sell goats to buyers across the country, and they’re well known and respected across the country. In addition to breeding goats, they sell many goat products including goat milk (don’t tell the Dept. of Ag.), goat soaps, goat cheeses, goat jerky, and more.

Nanny Ridge Farms owner Billie Kidd said, “Our retail business at the farm has slowed recently. I think it has to do with Bidenomics and inflation. So, I was brainstorming on ways to get people out to the farm, and I ran across some videos on Tiktok with people doing goat yoga. I thought it was crazy to be honest with you. But, I thought that we could give it a try. Everyone loves baby goats, and you can mix in some yoga. What’s not to love?”

Kidd said, “I didn’t know anything about yoga, so I had to find someone that did. I started asking around, and everyone told me to contact Krishna Theegala. I was told she was the yoga instructor in The Valley. I contacted her, and she said she’d be happy to do some classes even though she’d never done goat yoga.”

Kidd added, “The first class attracted 9 ladies. It was a circus. The kids were kind of freaked out. They’d never had to stand on someone’s back for an extended period of time. I spent 80% of my time chasing the kids, and putting them back on the ladies’ backs. They did better in week 2, and they gotten even better the past couple weeks. Now, we’re up to about 25 ladies doing goat yoga, and I hope it’ll continue to grow.”

After the yoga sessions, Kidd provides cold goat milk along with charcuterie boards with her infused goat cheeses. Kidd said that his has helped her retail business a good deal. I talked with a couple yoga participants, and they love the goat yoga and refreshments. One said, “Honestly, I’m not crazy about the goat yoga. It really doesn’t feel good to have a goat walking on your back. But, the cold goat milk afterwards is so refreshing. I think I’m gonna keep coming back just for that. Another said, “The yoga is fun, and I love the little goats. But, Billie’s blueberry infused goat cheese is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. So awesome!”

Kidd said the yoga sessions have been good for the farm. Currently, she only does one session per week, but she plans to add another session as the numbers continue to grow. Never tried goat yoga? Come on out to Nanny Ridge Farms and give it a try. Sample some of the goat milk and goat cheese while you’re at it.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Valley hip hop artist, Bubba Swompz, has been getting noticed in the hip hop game recently. Bubba is releasing his first album called “Valley Born & Bred” next week to much fanfare. He is also releasing his sure to be hit single “Valley Born & Bred” tomorrow to all the major platforms including Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, and more! I was able to have a sit down Q&A session with Bubba about his new record release, and I’ve included some the Q&A below.

Q: Your given name is Brian Swonk, so what was the genesis of the name Bubba Swompz?

A: I have a younger sister, and she started calling me Bubba when she started talking. It stuck with me; my family and friends started calling me Bubba too. Swompz came recently. When I started rapping a few years ago, my friends said I had to get a name to go with Bubba like Bubba Sparxx. I grew up next to a swamp, so one of my friends said, “How about Bubba Swompz?” I liked it, and I went with it. So, here we are!

Q: How did you get into the rap game?

A: I’ve always been interested in rap or hip hop music. I’ve been listening to it as long as I can remember. I’d turn on BET and watch it all day. I’d also listen to 99JAMZ as much as possible. I started doing my own stuff a few years ago. I’d sing at friends’ birthday parties and stuff like that, and I’d do a little gig here and there when I was off work from my day job as a mechanic. My friends and family have encouraged me for a while to make an album, so that’s what I did.

Q: What artists have influenced your musical style?

A: I love rap, but I have listened to different kinds of music as long as I can remember. I listen to country, rock, blues, and more in addition to rap. I love to listen to Snoop and Dre. As a white rapper, Enimem has been an influence too. I love country singers like Merle Haggard and Hank, Jr. as well. Kid Rock has been a big influence. I like to listen to bluesman like Muddy Waters, R.L. Burnside, and Junior Kimbrough too. It’s an interesting mix of artists that I’ve drawn inspiration from over the years.

Q: Can you tell us about your debut album “Valley Born & Bred”?

A. Yes, I’m so excited to release this record to the great people of The Valley and the world! I’ve been working on it for a long time. I’m proud to have grown up in The Valley. It’s part of who I am; you can take me out of The Valley, but you can’t take The Valley out of me. So, I wanted to put together an album that highlighted my roots and upbringing in The Valley. It’s a bit of nostalgia about my childhood and the things that I and other country folks experienced as kids. It’s a Valleyan and country folks anthem; they’ll be able to identify with all the songs.

Q: What’s next for you Bubba?

A: I’m looking forward to this album release. I hope it goes well. Everyone share on social media. Sharing is caring! Follow me on Spotify and other streaming platforms. I’m open for bookings. Contact me directly, I don’t have an agent or handlers. I’m just looking forward to getting my name and my work out there for the world to see and hear. Also, I’d like to thank my record label, Strong River Valley (SRV) Records; they’ve done a great job producing and promoting my album. Stretch, I appreciate you and the SRVO for doing this Q&A for me. I love you and the SRVO, and thank you so much.

Bubba is doing great things, and I think he’ll be a household name before long. The SRVO is pleased to introduce him to The Valley and the world.

by Tre McGyver

Greetings Valleyans! It’s been a while! I’ve been super busy trying to clean up Valley Meadows, and I pretty much had it how I wanted it. Then, the kids got out of school for the summer, and all hell has broken loose. I’m so ready for these little savages to go back to school.

I had our above ground pool and the area around it ready for the summer. The kids got of school, and it went downhill fast. The kids just throw their drink cans and bottles on the ground by the pool. There is also candy wrappers and potato chip bags everywhere. Also, I’ve had to use a ton of chemicals in the pool. These kids pee in the the pool constantly; I swear the water has a yellow tint to it. Also, no vaping is allowed at the pool, but evidently people can’t read the sign. I get a complaint every freakin day about someone vaping at the pool. I go to investigate, and they all hide their vapes. I guess I’m going to have to install a camera to deter vaping at the pool.

We’ve have had a gang of young boys wreaking havoc this summer. There are about 7-8 of the little turds, and the McCoy twins are the ring leaders. They stay up late making way too much noise. They play baseball on the street, and you have to threaten to run over them to get them to move. They ride their bikes everywhere including through our residents’ lawns. Old Man Cooper has threatened to shoot them 2 or 3 times for coming into his yard. They knock on residents’ doors and then take off running. It’s pretty bad, and I’ve done all I know to do including a pow wow with their parents. Before next summer, I may buy a PlayStation of Xbox for them to try to keep them inside all summer. School needs to start yesterday!

Let’s no start on July 4th. These little savages were lighting fire crackers by residents’ mobile homes. One elderly lady had a light heart attack after they set off firecrackers just outside her bedroom; we had an ambulance show up to get her. The police were called twice, but they never caught the little criminals. I talked to their parents, but it hasn’t done much good.

We also had a couple teenage boys riding their dirt bikes around the neighborhood. They’d rev those things as loud as possible. It was so annoying. Again, I talked to their parents, and that didn’t do any good either. Don’t tell anyone this, but I slit one of their tires. He was out of commission for a couple days, but they were back at it and louder than ever after a couple days.

It’s honestly been the worst summer of my life. I’ve had to get on blood pressure meds. It’s been bad. But, I’m not going to let these savages run wild. I’m bound and determined to calm this place down for our residents. Thank God these kids are going back to school this week!

by Ben BeEssen

Dr. Gregory Gregg has been practicing medicine in The Valley for about 35 years now. Generations of Valleyans have trusted Dr. Gregg with their health. He’s loved and well respected by just about everyone in The Valley. Recently, he’s seeing a disturbing trend among young Valley males. More and more adolescent and teen boys are having head and neck issues.

Dr. Gregg said, “This is a disturbing trend among the young males that I’ve been seeing. Mom will bring in a young male, and they’ll be complaining about neck pain or headaches. Many of the boys are having concussion like symptoms. At first, I was baffled by the increase in these ailments. My first thought was too much screen time; I thought the boys looking down at screens for long periods of time could be the issue. But, I ruled that out after seeing a few young male patients. Next, I thought it could be long covid, something in the water, chemtrails, or something else. I also noticed that it was only males; no females were coming in with these issues. But, over the past few months I think I’ve discovered the issue. Now, we’re going to have to educate parents and the young males about the cause and how to prevent these issues.”

Dr. Gregg finally discovered the issue was “Bama bangs” or “frat boys bangs.” These young males like to have long flowing bangs, because that’s the cool hairstyle these days. The problem is the hair continues to get in their eyes and face, and they have to continually shake their head to get the hair out of their eyes and face. In many of Dr. Gregg’s young male patients, this is causing head and neck problems.

Dr. Gregg said, “Many of these boys have big heads, and their brains aren’t fully developed. A young male that has a developing brain can cause concussion like symptoms by repeatedly shaking his head. Also, our heads are pretty heavy. So, a young male can develop neck issues as well by repeatedly shaking his head.”

Dr. Gregg has some recommendations for young Valley males and their parents. These recommendations probably aren’t going to be popular among the boys though. If the parents take Dr. Gregg’s advice, the hairstyles of young Valley males are going to look a lot different.

Dr. Gregg said, “These Valley boys aren’t gonna want to hear this, but it needs to be done. All these Valley boys need to cut their hair; they all need to do flat tops or buzz cuts. I had one for years when I was young and when I was in the military. I turned out ok, and I didn’t have any head or neck issues. Cut your darn hair boys!”

Valley boys and their moms aren’t happy about Dr. Gregg’s recommendation. One 14 year old Valley boy said, “I love my Bama bangs. They have helped me pickup more than one girl. I ain’t cutting them; I guess I’ll just have to deal with a sore neck. One Valley mom said, “I can’t cut Little Ethan’s bangs; I just can’t do it. They are so cute. It would kill me to have them cut.”

Dr. Gregg has made some Valleyans upset about his recommendation, but he has a duty to help his patients and Valleyans. We’ll see if Valley moms and their sons take Dr. Gregg’s advice, but I have my doubts.

by Ima Phibber

The Valley has been doing well lately. Businesses are popping up all over the place. People are moving to The Valley. There’s a buzz, and it’s contagious. But, one thing that has been sorely lacking is a lifestyle magazine. Many cities, regions, and popular destinations have lifestyle magazines that highlight attractions, food, and movers and shakers in those places. Some local examples would be Stages, Northside Sun, and Hometown Magazines, and some regional examples would be Mississippi Magazine, South Mississippi Living, and the goat- Southern Living. But, Valleyans should be excited because a lifestyle magazine is coming, and it’s going to be called Valley Living.

Emma Embellischer and I have been talking about the need for a lifestyle magazine for a while now. We brought up the idea to SRVO management a few months back, and they liked the idea. Management gave us the go ahead, and they gave us some parameters and guidelines. Emma and I have been working on the details for a couple months now. We decided to name the magazine Valley Living, and it will be a subsidiary of the SRVO. The magazine will be published quarterly, and the first issue will be ready next week.

Valley Living will highlight the homes and mobile homes, food, gardens, workshops and more of the fine people of The Valley. Each issue will showcase the home or mobile home of a Valley family, the shop/workshop of a Valley man, the work a Valleyan that works with his/her hands, and the garden of a Valleyan. Valley women will also share recipes and cooking techniques. There will also be a travel ball mom spotlight in each issue; the moms will discuss the joys and challenges of being a travel ball mom.

We’re very excited to bring this quarterly magazine the great people of the Valley. It’s going to show real, authentic, normal people unlike some of these uppity lifestyle magazines. It will be free of charge; we’ll distribute the magazines to multiple businesses and organizations across the Valley. It will also be a great place for local businesses to advertise, so please contact me or Emma about advertising opportunities. We get a commission for the advertisers we secure, so don’t contact the SRVO office. Make sure you get your girls paid!

by Emma Embellischer

The Valley has been buzzing lately. Growth and development is happening at a breakneck pace. Many Valleyans have been concerned that the growth and development could harm the natural beauty of The Valley. There has been a lot of talk among city and county officials in The Valley lately about ways to preserve some of The Valley for generations to come. The Strong River Valley Transportation Authority (SRVTA) voted at its latest board meeting to create a scenic highway or byway called 40B.

SRVTA board chairman, Mehate Teslaz, made the announcement yesterday at a press conference, and he was excited about the byway. Teslaz said, “We are super excited about 40B. We’ve been working on this project for some time now, and we’re ecstatic to get this project up and running. We got the go ahead with MDOT a couple weeks ago, and we secured millions in federal funding as well. This highway will be the Federal Highway Administration’s latest scenic byway, and it’s going to do a ton to showcase The Valley.”

The byway will meander approximately 8 miles along the Strong River and Hwy. 13 and Hwy. 43. It will start northeast of Mendenhall and end southwest of Mendenhall, and it will cross Hwy. 13, Hwy. 43, and the Strong River multiple times. The SRVTA set aside approximately 2 miles of the byway that will remain untouched and not open for development. Approximately $10 million was allocated for an interpretive center that will educate visitors about the flora and fauna of The Valley. There will be pulloffs with picnic tables and restrooms along 40B. There will also be boardwalks along some swampy areas including the infamous The Bottoms Swamp, and this will attract bird watchers from across the country.

Teslaz said, “We named the byway 40B because we envision The Valley to be bigger and better than 30A in North Florida. Some people will think we’re delusional, but I have a lot of faith in the SRVTA and the residents of The Valley. Just wait 30A! Give us 5-7 years, and you’ll see 40B stickers on all the Mercedes, BMW, and Lexus SUVs! We’ll have the sun and sand without the shark attacks.”

The SRVTA thinks the national scenic byway designation will bring in visitors from all across the U.S. Teslaz said, “40B will be the third scenic byway in MS, so that’s a big deal.”

The SRVTA board expects development along 40B to be huge. Two recent developments will be on 40B, and they should provide anchors to build and develop around- The Valley National Golf Club and Strong River Valley Camping Resort & Spa. Board members told me to expect multiple businesses and developments to pop up along 40B including a RV park, a gated mobile home park, a bait shop, farmers market, small condos, a fishing and noodling outfitter, a catfish restaurant, an indoor shooting range, a mini golf course, and more.

I talked to multiple Valleyans about 40B, and they were all ecstatic. One said, “I own land on the river, and I’m seeing dollar signs right now baby! Cha ching!” Another Valleyan said, “This is so exciting. I can’t wait to get my 40B window sticker and t-shirt. 30A ain’t got nothing on 40B baby! This is going to put The Valley on the map!”

This is definitely a watershed moment for The Valley. Construction on 40B will begin within the next couple months. The SRVO will keep you updated on the construction and development of 40B in the coming months.

by Pullyn Mylegg

Valley City always has a big community event on July 4th, and this year was no different. City officials estimated there to be 700- 800 people in attendance. Everyone was very festive, and people were decked out in red, white, and blue. It was Americana at its finest. There are always multiple events scheduled, and the fireworks show is always the highlight of the event. But, this year city officials planned a drone show instead of a fireworks show.

The festivities this year included a catfish filet eating contest, sweet tea chugging contest, and some vendor booths. There also was a cousin reveal station. There were representatives there from a company similar to 23andMe that had the capability to rapid genetic testing. They encouraged people to give saliva samples, and they did the cousin reveal at 7:00. Multiple people found out they were indeed cousins. The Huckabees, a married couple, found out they were actually 2nd cousins. They are from Alabama, so that’s all you need to know. One lady, who will remain anonymous, discovered that her dad was not actually her biological father. Her biological father was in attendance, and his name will remain anonymous as well. He was not informed about this revelation. She left the event very upset, and her mother has some explaining to do.

The catfish fillet eating contest was a hit. There were 8 contestants, and they had 10 minutes to eat as many filet as possible. All contestants had to sign a waiver saying they wouldn’t sue if they swallowed a bone. The catfish fillets were provided by Ricky’s on the River. Johnny Blue was the winner by one fillet; he at 39 fillets.

The sweet tea chugging contest was a hit as well. 7 contestants had one minute to chug as many 12 ounce cups of sweet tea as possible. Milo “Red” Diamond won the contest by chugging 11 cups of tea. It wasn’t really close; the next closest competitor only drank 8 cups.

The Dirtdobbers were performing live music at the event. At 7:30, everything was halted and everyone sat in their lawn chairs and listened to the Dirtdobbers. They performed multiple patriotic songs including “America the Beautiful” and “God Bless the USA.” It was a moving moment as attendees waved American flags during “America the Beautiful.” After the patriotic songs, the highlight of the event began- the drone show.

The smart kids from Valley Prep’s tech department did the drone show. It was amazing! The coordination of all the red, white, and blue drones was impressive. They formed multiples shapes and formations including an American flag which drew a big applause. The drone show was almost finished, and a couple drones were knocked out of the sky. Evidently, an owl did not like the red drones, and he/she attacked a couple and they fell to the ground, and one of the drones almost landed on an elderly lady.

The year’s Valley City July 4th Celebration was a great event. The cousin reveal and drone show were very interesting. I’m not sure the cousin reveal people will be invited back next year, but we’ll see. The SRVO will be there next year reporting on this great annual event.

by I. B. Lyon

Tipping has gotten out of control these days. You’re supposed to tip your hair stylist, barista, bartender, hotel valet, Uber driver, Doordash driver, baseball/softball instructor, dog walker, and more. Every restaurant in America now strongly encourages diners to tip. Many restaurants ask for tips before you receive service, and many restaurants that provide little to no service ask for tips as well. It has just gotten to be annoying and a little too much.

The Strong River Bend Police Dept. (SRBPD) has been thinking of ways to bring in additional revenue. The department has struggled for years with limited resources, and they are having issues keeping good officers. Strong River Bend (SRB) councilman, Tip O’Beal, recently suggested the police department should start accepting tips at a town board meeting. O’Beal said, “Just about all restaurants and many other places ask for tips these days, and it’s kind of gotten to be an expected thing you know. Why couldn’t our police officers ask for tips after traffic stops? It could bring in more revenue for the town, and it’ll help us attract more quality officers.”

The board meeting ran longer than normal because the town council members, the mayor, and the town attorney had to work out the details of the tipping program. City attorney, Parry Maison, said, “I have never heard of this before, so I wasn’t sure if it was legal. So, I left the room and did a quick Google search, and I found nothing that prohibited it. I just told the council and mayor to instruct their police officers to not coerce citizens to tip under any circumstances. Also, they should give 3 preset options like 15%, 18%, and 20%, and they’d need to give a custom option in case citizens wanted to tip a different amount or nothing at all. Plus, the amount of the fine or fee would have to be disclosed to the citizens when they are stopped.”

The council voted 5-0 in favor of the town keeping 75% of the tips, and 25% will be given the officer that received the tip. SRB police chief, Barney Kojak, is excited about the tipping program. Kojak said, “I’m pumped about this. This will help us attract new quality officers. It will also help us bring in more revenue to the town. The town will receive 75% of all tips, and our officers will definitely make more traffic stops to increase their likelihood of getting tips. Additionally, it will allow us to collect fines and fees when our officers give the citations. We won’t have to wait weeks to collect fines and fees. People will be able to pay their fines and fees during their traffic stop by check, credit card, Apple Pay, Android Pay, Venmo, CashApp, and Paypal. So, I think this will be a win-win for everyone.”

One important caveat to the tipping program is that a citation has to be given in order to get a tip. So, if a driver receives a warning, the officer can’t receive a tip. This will all be built into the department’s computer software called TipBlue. Also, cash cannot be accepted by officers as tips. SRB and Valley residents are torn about the new tipping program.

One Valley resident said, “Well, I guess I won’t be able to get my tickets fixed anymore. The officers gotta get you on something in order to get a tip, and they ain’t gonna want that tip taken away after the fact. I guess I’ll have to slow down and stop at the stop signs now. And, they’re gonna be pulling people over like crazy to get tips; I may have to avoid SRB now. Plus, we have to tip everybody these days, and now we’re supposed to tip cops? Come on man! I’m not happy with Ole Kojak about this.”

A SRB resident said, “I like this idea. Our officers don’t get paid much, and this will allow them to make more money. They work hard, and I think they should be able to get tips. It’s a good thing.”

This program will begin on Monday. It will interesting to see in the coming months how much revenue this generates for SRB. If the program does well, I expect more towns to follow suit. The SRVO will keep you updated on the tipping program.

by I. B. Lyon

There is a huge push worldwide right now to cut down on carbon emissions. We are all urged to go green to save the planet. There is also a big push for everyone to buy electric vehicles (EVs). Many countries in Europe have banned vehicles with internal combustion engines after specific dates in the future. Also, multiple countries in Europe have established low emission zones where drivers that have gas guzzlers have to pay a fee to enter the zones. Well, that’s not going to happen in The Valley.

The Strong River Valley Transportation Authority (SRVTA) board recently passed a ground breaking rule. The new rule will require EV drivers to pay a $1 fee per day to pass through the SRVTA’s jurisdiction. The new rule is being dubbed the “EV fee.” I spoke with the board’s chairman, Mehate Teslaz, about the new rule. Teslaz said, “The SRVTA tries to be proactive and not reactive, and we try to stay ahead of the curve. As far as I know, this is the first rule of its kind in the world. We’ve seen a large increase of EVs passing through our jurisdiction in the past few years, and the extra weight of these EVs really takes a toll on our roads, highways, and bridges. A year ago, we were seeing 7-8 EVs using our roads and highways each day, but that number has doubled to 15-16 EVs per day. We felt this rule was needed.”

Implementation and enforcement of this new rule is going to be interesting. The SRVTA did not provide any details of how they planned to implement the rule, and no one knows how they will collect the fees. Teslaz said, “The rule will go into effect in 6 months, so that gives us time to implement everything we need. We’ve talked about different ways to implement it, and one that seemed popular and plausible was requiring EV owners to register their vehicles with the SRVTA. We’d gather their personal and vehicle info, and we’d require them to install a RFID device to be scanned any time they entered the SRVTA jurisdiction. That will allow us to know their whereabouts, and we’d require the EV owners to link a payment method (credit card, Apple pay, Venmo, etc.) to pay their fees. We’d like the input of Valleyans, but the board will finalize everything in the coming months.”

This is going to be a polarizing issue. One Tesla owner I talked with was very upset about the new rule. He said, “This new rule is an egregious abuse of power. Teslaz is just trying to help his reelection chances; he’s just playing to his base. There is no need for this. How much revenue is this going to raise each year? $750? I think he’s just trying to get his country club dues paid for. I will be filing a lawsuit against the SRVTA, so I’ll see them in court.”

Another Valleyan I talked with had a different view on the rule. He said, “I like it. The SRVTA plays offense baby. They don’t play defense. We don’t like these liberal latte sipping EV owners, and we’re gonna make them pay. Teslaz for President!”

The SRVO will keep you updated on the EV fee. The coming debates and implementation are sure to provide a lot of fireworks, and we’ll be here to cover it.