Archives 2023

by Emma Embellischer

The tv network Bravo aired the first Real Housewives show back in 2008, and it was called the Real Housewives of Orange County. It was a huge hit, and they’ve done multiple Real Housewives shows since then that have been very popular. Valley Productions has decided to copy their idea, and they’re going to produce a show called The Real Housewives of The Valley.

Gio Smellafarti has been a tv producer in New York for around 20 years, and he’s produced multiple hit shows and documentaries including The Primadonnas of the Prairie (based in rural Kansas), The Broads of the Bayou (based in Louisiana) and The Cats of Coal Country (based in West Virginia). He created Valley Productions specifically for his new show about the housewives of The Valley. Gio said, “Many people feel the Real Housewives shows are fake and don’t represent real middle class Americans. I wanted to create a show that shows real life with real middle class housewives, and The Valley is a great place to do that. I’m really excited about this show.”

Valley Productions will hold a casting session on Saturday, November 11th at 10:00 am at The Valley Convention Center in Valley City. Smellafarti said, “We are looking for 5 housewives that live in The Valley. We want women that are interesting and have personality. We’re looking for housewives of the following husbands/occupations: oilfield worker, farmer, teacher/coach, truck driver, and business owner. Spread the word! We’ll see you ladies on November 11 at 10:00 am!”

Smellafarti is promising to produce a quality show that represents the lives of actual housewives of The Valley, and he says he will shed them in a positive light. But, Valleyans are torn about the upcoming show. One female Valleyan said, “I have a feeling this show is going to be a circus. I know several women that are going to the casting session, and they are all a hot mess. Plus, I feel like it could possibly make The Valley look bad, and I really don’t want that.” A male Valleyan I talked with said, “I can’t wait to see this show! It’s going to be epic, and I know it’s going to be a hit. It’s going to be a train wreck in a good way! I know a lot of crazy women that should be on the show. And, The Valley is going to be famous; people are going to want to come to see The Valley and all it has to offer!

The five housewives and their personalities are going to make or break the show, so Valleyans are eager to see what women are selected. After casting, you’ll start to hear more about the show, and the marketing will really be ramped up in the coming months.

by I. B. Lyon

The Valley is not the ideal region for solar farms. It has a ton of trees, and it doesn’t have many wide open spaces large enough for solar farms. However, Sonny Green is about to change that. Sonny is one of the largest landowners in The Valley, and he’s been a forester for about 30 years. He recently cut about 250 acres of pine trees, and he’s going to clear the land for a solar farm.

I asked Green why he’s building the solar farm which is named the Sonny Green Solar Farm. He said, “I went on a trip out west earlier this year, and I saw multiple solar farms. I did a little research on them, and I decided that I wanted to build one. A lot of people think I’m doing this to help save the planet, but that ain’t the reason. I’m doing it to get rich. I can make a lot more money solar farming than tree farming or cattle farming.” Green plans to start construction on the project in the next couple weeks.

Green is partnering with local electrical cooperative, Northern Oak, to sell the power generated back to the grid. A Northern Oak spokesperson said, “We’re very excited about our partnership with Mr. Green. This solar farm should help slightly lower our members’ monthly bills. Plus, we want to do our part to help save our wonderful planet.”

Not everyone is thrilled about Mr. Green’s solar farm however. Many local hunters are upset about the project. One hunter said, “This is going to totally screw up the deer hunting in our club. His land is adjacent to the club’s land, and I’m sure the deer population is going to be down because of the loss of their habitat. It’s not gonna help the turkeys either.” One of Mr. Green’s neighbors who wanted to remain anonymous voiced his displeasure as well. He said, “It just looks bad. This ain’t California or Arizona. It’s the freakin Valley, and we don’t like that crap here. Plus, those stupid things are made in China.”

The construction of the solar farm is expected to take about 6 months. It’ll be interesting to see how Valleyans feel once the project is completed.

by Mack Speed

Howdy Valleyans! The third race of the season was on Saturday night. It was a great night with an epic ending. I think we had close to 2,000 fans, so the word is getting out about the SRVMRL. People love the atmosphere, and the racing is pretty good too. We still had some parking issues; I don’t think we’ll be able to fix them. I guess I need to do a Powerpoint presentation to explain how things need to be done to my guys, but ain’t nobody got time for that.

The tailgating has gotten bigger. There are probably 250 people that tailgated on Saturday. They were cooking some good food. My Ole Miss buddies shared some food with me, and it was good. I don’t know what it was, because it was pretty fancy. The tailgating was segregated though. MSU and Ole Miss fans were not tailgating together. Come on people! The Valley Motor Speedway is a place where everyone can come together. People were playing cornhole, and the kids were running around having a good time. That’s the type of atmosphere I want at the Valley Motor Speedway.

I still got a couple reports of people vaping. Again, we’ve posted signs that it is not allowed, but I guess people can’t read or they don’t care. Quit vaping you idiots!

There were some lines to use the porta potties because of the big crowd, so we may have to add a few more. But, that’s a good problem to have.

The races were very good this week, and they’re getting more intense. My boy, Dale Earnhardt Speed, won the junior race, but it was pretty close. I think he’s getting the big head. He’s gonna get humbled if he doesn’t watch out. The main race had some drama. Tony Johnson and Jimmie Stewart were going back and forth and bumping and grinding the whole race. It was intense. On the final lap, Tony bumped into Jimmie and they both spun out. That gave Jeff Petty the opportunity to take the checkered flag. You’ll probably hear more about Petty; he’s really coming on.

So, Johnson and Stewart were not happy with one another. They didn’t worry about finishing the race. They immediately jumped up, and they took off their helmets and gloves and it was on like Donkey Kong! They started pushing each other, and Johnson punched Stewart. More punches were thrown, and Stewart ended up having a bloody nose, and they were wallering around on the track. It was epic! They had to separated by the other racers. That’s the kind of thing the fans want to see!

We’ll see you again in a couple weeks Valleyans! It’s gonna be fun!

by Ima Phibber

No one is going to confuse the Strong River Valley (The Valley) with Silicon Valley; the two places couldn’t be more different. The Valley is not known as a hot bed of tech innovation. Heck, all of our residents don’t even have high speed internet. But, we do have some smart innovative people in The Valley, and Mark Elon Jobs is at the top of that list. Mark’s latest project is making waves, and it’s going to help many people in The Valley and around the country.

Jobs has always been interested in technology. When he was a kid, he would take computers apart and put them back together. He would even build computers from spare parts. He was known as a whiz kid. His company, Valley Tech Solutions, has created multiple apps and software programs, but nothing that has been used by the masses. However, that is likely to change with his new dining loan program- Di-Lo (short for dining loan).

Jobs still lives with his parents, and they eat out together once per week on Friday nights. He’s noticed that food inflation has caused their weekly restaurant bills to skyrocket. Jobs said, “It’s crazy how expensive eating out has gotten. I don’t see how a family of 4 or 5 affords to eat out now. It’s just gotten way out of hand. Also, they want you to tip for everything these days, so tip inflation has gotten crazy too. One Friday night while I was eating with Mom and Dad, I thought that I needed to do something to help people afford eating out.”

Jobs created a software program that he calls Di-Lo. Di-Lo provides microloans or microcredit to diners to help them pay for their meals. It’s a form of buy now, pay later for the restaurant industry. Diners can let their servers know they plan to use Di-Lo. They can choose to pay for the meal over 7 days or 14 days, and the interest rates are very competitive. Jobs has partnered with the local bank, The Peoples Priority Bank, to provide the loans. The restaurant, Valley Tech Solutions, and The Peoples Priority Bank each get a third of the revenue created from each loan, and the diner is able to afford a nice meal.

I talked to multiple Valleyans about Di-Lo, and they were excited about the program. One person said, “We’ll be able to afford to eat out now. Heck, I’ll get the steak instead of the burger now, and we’ll go get ice cream afterwards. The whole family can get a drink too; we all don’t have to get water!”

Jobs said, “I’ve always just wanted to help people with technology, and I think Di-Lo will definitely do that. Di-Lo is already in multiple restaurants in The Valley, and we hope to continue to grow in and outside The Valley.” Inflation has cooled recently, but there is still some food inflation. So, there should be a lot of demand for Di-Lo going forward.

by Emma Embellischer

In my recent story, I told you about the animal control issues that SE Rankin County and Puckett are having. The SE Rankin County Commission (SERCC) and Town of Puckett decided to hire a part-time animal control specialist to help solve the issues. They received 25 applications for the position, and SERCC has made the hire. Steve Irwin Hanna is the man for the job.

Steve Irwin Hanna

Hanna is well known in The Valley, and he is a jack of all trades. He can fix your plumbing issues, cut a tree, pour a concrete slab, fix your lawn mower, and take care of your critters. You can normally find him hanging out at the Puckett Quik Stop with the old men. They drink coffee and tell lies to each other, and they stare at anyone they don’t know that walks in. Hanna works for himself, and he has a flexible schedule. So, the job is a good fit for him, because he should be able to respond to any animal control calls in a timely manner.

Hanna said, “I’m glad they chose me for the job. I’ve been getting rid of critters and animals for a long time, and now I’ll get paid to do it. If you can’t reach me, you can normally find me at the Puckett Quik Stop. I’m good with any animal except a snake. If you need to get rid of a snake, I’ll handle it, but it’ll be with my 12 gauge. I ain’t handling no snake! I just want everyone to know that on the front end.”

Hanna also said, “I’m pretty pumped about the truck they’re giving me. I know it’s a 95 Ford, and she has a few imperfections. But, she looks better than my old truck, and she runs good. I’m probably gonna have to get a young kid to help me use the iPad; I have no idea how to use that thing. Also, don’t worry about those cows getting out Valleyans, I’ll get them back in no time!

Hanna will be on call 24/7, and he’ll serve Puckett and SE Rankin County. Just look for the white 95 white Ford truck with the animal specialist sticker on the door. Also, SERCC created an animal control hotline that residents can call- 1-800-CALLACS, and that will go live on October 1st.

by Pullyn Mylegg

Valley City (VC) couldn’t sit back and do nothing after Valley Prep started doing drone shows during halftime of their home football games. VC doesn’t have the funds to do a drone show, so they had to think outside the box. Band Director, Ludwig Chopin, had to come up with something inexpensive and entertaining. After some brainstorming, he came up with a grandpa 40 yard dash race.

The 40 yard dash is the standard used to measure the speed of football players. Chopin is going to invite 10 grandfathers to participate during halftime, and it’s on a first come, first serve basis. They have to be at least 50 years of age, and they have to show a picture of a grandchild in order to participate. He also is going to have two flights: ages 50- 65 and 66 +.

They’ve had one race so far, and the fans absolutely loved it. Carl Lewis won the 50- 65 flight, which wasn’t much of a surprise. He’s 54 and in great shape, and he was a track and field star in high school. They only had one injury in that race; one 64 year old grandpa pulled a hamstring. And, they only had one grandpa that injured his pride by doing a major face plant which drew many ooo’s and ahh’s from the crowd.

Jesse Owens won the 66 + flight. It was very close, but he inched out a grandpa from the visiting team. The 66 + flight had 2 injuries. Jimmy Goforth tore his ACL, and Major Falls took a tumble and broke his wrist. Goforth said, “I was the fastest boy in my class in 6th grade. I had to get out there and show everybody that I still had it. Well, I don’t. I felt pretty good about my chances until they blew the whistle. I didn’t even get out of the starting gate without my knee buckling on me. I knew it wasn’t good.”

Major Falls tumbled face forward about halfway through the race, and he landed directly on his face. In trying to break his fall, he broke his wrist. Falls said, “Well, I broke my wrist, but my pride and my nose are hurt more than my wrist. I’ll be back to race again. Those old geezers better watch out!”

Chopin told me that multiple grandmothers approached him after the game saying they wanted to race also. So, Chopin will probably add a grandma’s race as well. These races are must watch, so VC hopes this will bring in more fans to their home games.

by I. B. Lyon

The Valley has its share of wine and liquor stores, but they’re all just run of the mill stores. Vino Hopps has decided to change that. He is opening a new store in Valley City called The Valley Wine & Liquor. Hopps hopes his unique, high-end store will attract people from around The Valley and the surrounding areas.

Hopps has always been a wine and liquor enthusiast. His mom is from Tuscany, and his dad hails from Kentucky. So, his family roots have definitely shaped his love of wine and liquor. He’s always wanted to open a store, but he didn’t have the funds to do so until recently.

The Valley Wine & Liquor is going to be chic and high end. It’s going to have a super nice tasting room. It will also have a humidor for cigar enthusiasts. In addition, it will have a bar area with large televisions for sports fans. Hopps will also have a charcuterie menu with high-end meats and cheeses to pair with his wines.

Hopps said, “I’m going to carry high-end wines from around the world. You name the region, and we’ll have them- Tuscany, South Africa, France, Spain, Napa Valley, Oregon, and even Mission Peninsula Michigan. I’m also going to carry high-end bourbons and tequilas including some very high-end small batch bourbons. There’s not going to be another store like mine anywhere in The Valley or the state.”

Another thing that will separate The Valley Wine & Liquor is that it will provide a separate parking area and display room for Baptists. Hopps said, “Baptists could be some of my best customers, but many won’t come in the store. Of course, you know the Methodists and Presbyterians won’t be ashamed to come in, but I decided to do something extra for the Baptists to entice them to visit the store. Their parking area behind the store has a fence that doesn’t allow people to see their vehicles, and people wanting to enter the Baptist room have to provide a recent bulletin from a Baptist church. This will allow the Baptists to feel safe at the store, and that was important to me.”

I talked with an anonymous deacon from First Baptist Valley City. He said, “I’m pretty excited about the new store. I get tired of driving to Jackson to get my wine and liquor. You gotta drive far enough away so you won’t run into anyone you know. Now, I won’t have to worry about that!”

The Valley Wine & Liquor plans to open its doors in a couple months. Many Valleyans, especially the Baptists, are excited about this unique, high-end store coming to the Valley.

by Mack Speed

Howdy Valleyans! We had the second race of the Strong River Valley Mower Racing League (SRVMRL), and it was a great night. Again, we had a great raucous crowd; I think we had around 1,700 fans. I thought we had the parking issues fixed, but we still had some issues. A couple people got boxed in, and they were not happy about it. I thought we were going to have one of them ram into another vehicle on purpose, but it didn’t happen. My parking guys are teenagers, and I’m paying them $25 per night (cash). They’re gonna have to learn that they’re in control, and they have to tell people where to park. Otherwise, we have chaos.

People were tailgating again, and I really like to see that. My Ole Miss fans were back with their chandelier. They gave me some great food. This really creates a football-like atmosphere, and I think it’s a good thing.

Smoking and vaping is not allowed at the Valley Motor Speedway, but evidently people can’t read. I got multiple complaints from fans about people about smoking and vaping. People are pretty sneaky about hiding those vaping thingamajigs. I know we had some 11-12 year old kids vaping, and I’m sure they got it from their parents. Back in my day, kids that age would be chewing tobacco or dipping snuff. Now, they want to vape. America has gone downhill. I’ll do what I can do address this, but it’s going to be hard to stop.

We had 8 porta potties setup, and that seemed to alleviate the lines to use the bathroom. I got reports of little boys peeing out in the open, but we can tolerate that. As far as I know, we didn’t have anyone betting on races, so that’s a good thing. We have to stay vigilant about that.

The races were very good again. My son, Dale Earnhardt Speed, won the junior race again. He did have a little competition this race unlike the previous race. Again, I’ll be surprised if he loses a race. The main race was a good one again. Tony Johnson beat Jimmie Stewart by a hair. Those two were bumping and grinding the whole race; they’re going to have to do a lot of work on their mowers before the next race. Their wives had words, and they had to be separated. So, this rivalry looks like it’s going to be heated. The other racers need to make some significant changes in order to compete with these two guys.

Overall, the second race night was a success. I think we’re building something pretty special that people don’t want to miss. We’ll see you again on October 7th!

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

The Strong River Bend (SRB) faithful didn’t have high expectations coming into the 2023 season. Despite that, they’ve gotten off to a hot start. They’re 4-0, and none of the games have been close. They’ve outscored their first 4 opponents by a margin of 202 to 20.

SRB’s coach, Jackie Mullen, implemented what he calls the Bulldozer offense. Mullen said, “Well you know, it’s an old school offense. It’s like watching football from the 70s or 80s. We don’t throw the ball. We simply run the ball down your throat, and we may you like it. I could tell this summer during three-a-days we had a chance to be pretty good.” I asked Coach Mullen if they will throw the ball any this year. He said, “Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and only one of them is good. No, we won’t throw it any. Load the box, we don’t care. We gonna run it. Mess with a bull, and you get the horns!”

In order to run an offense like the Bulldozer, you need good running backs, and SRB has two good ones. Herschel Campbell is the power back, and Barry Dickerson is the speed back. Quarterback, Wayne Wyatt has a pretty easy job; hand the ball to these 2 great backs. Both backs have ran for over 150 yards in each of the first 4 games, and they’ve combined to score 23 touchdowns thus far.

The Bulldozer offense is complemented by a great defense too. Defensive coordinator, Joe Lee Grantham, calls his defense the Maroon Blitzkrieg. Coach Grantham is super aggressive, and he blitzes at least one defender every play. Coach Grantham said, “We coming baby! We’re gonna blitz and hit you in the mouth, so you better be ready.”

I asked Coach Mullen if he thinks they can continue this pace. He said, “Well you know, I think we can. We got that dog in us. We have a way of demoralizing teams and just ripping their heart out. We’re going to continue to be relentless.” We’ll see if they can continue this torrid pace; SRB is going to be a tough out for any team this season.

by Emma Embellischer

There has been a rash of animal control incidents recently in the Puckett and SE Rankin County area. Cows have been getting out regularly, and a beautiful white chicken has been running wild as well. There has been multiple issues with dogs as well. The residents of this area of The Valley have been up in arms; they have been posting vociferously in the Let’s Talk Puckett Facebook groups about the incidents. The area authorities felt is was tantamount to hire an animal control specialist to rectify the problems before things get out of control.

The SE Rankin County Commission (SERCC) along with the Town of Puckett has agreed to hire a part-time animal control specialist. The person will be paid $500 per month, and they will be on call 24/7. The position is not considered a law enforcement officer, but they will need to work and coordinate with law enforcement. The person will be provided a used truck, refurbished ipad, flip phone, along with other resources (no gun). Applicants that have canine, bovine, and poultry experience will be given the most consideration, and a college degree is not required but it’s desired.

A SERCC spokesperson said, “SE Rankin County has become ground zero for animal control incidents in The Valley and possibly the state of MS. We realized we had to do something about it. We monitor the area Facebook groups, and we felt some of the incidents could’ve really gotten out of hand.”

To apply for the position, applicants can go to www.sercc.gov, and click on Animal Control Specialist- Apply. SERCC is accepting applicants until September 22nd, and they plan to make the hire by September 29th, and the person will go to work on October 1st. SERCC will have a hotline for residents with an animal control issue to call- 1-800-CALLASC, and it will go live on October 1st.

The SERCC spokesperson also said, “Some have called this position a “dog catcher”, but that’s an insult. This position will need multiple skills in addition to dealing with animals; dispute resolution skills will very important as well as other relational skills. This person also needs to be level-headed and patient to deal with residents in tense situations.”

Residents of SE Rankin County and The Valley are glad this issue is being addressed. Hopefully, this will help maintain harmony in the community and tamp down the drama in the area Facebook groups, but time will tell.