Strong River Valley Observer

The Valley's Trusted Unreliable News Source

Archives September 2023

Animal Control Specialist Hired

by Emma Embellischer

In my recent story, I told you about the animal control issues that SE Rankin County and Puckett are having. The SE Rankin County Commission (SERCC) and Town of Puckett decided to hire a part-time animal control specialist to help solve the issues. They received 25 applications for the position, and SERCC has made the hire. Steve Irwin Hanna is the man for the job.

Steve Irwin Hanna

Hanna is well known in The Valley, and he is a jack of all trades. He can fix your plumbing issues, cut a tree, pour a concrete slab, fix your lawn mower, and take care of your critters. You can normally find him hanging out at the Puckett Quik Stop with the old men. They drink coffee and tell lies to each other, and they stare at anyone they don’t know that walks in. Hanna works for himself, and he has a flexible schedule. So, the job is a good fit for him, because he should be able to respond to any animal control calls in a timely manner.

Hanna said, “I’m glad they chose me for the job. I’ve been getting rid of critters and animals for a long time, and now I’ll get paid to do it. If you can’t reach me, you can normally find me at the Puckett Quik Stop. I’m good with any animal except a snake. If you need to get rid of a snake, I’ll handle it, but it’ll be with my 12 gauge. I ain’t handling no snake! I just want everyone to know that on the front end.”

Hanna also said, “I’m pretty pumped about the truck they’re giving me. I know it’s a 95 Ford, and she has a few imperfections. But, she looks better than my old truck, and she runs good. I’m probably gonna have to get a young kid to help me use the iPad; I have no idea how to use that thing. Also, don’t worry about those cows getting out Valleyans, I’ll get them back in no time!

Hanna will be on call 24/7, and he’ll serve Puckett and SE Rankin County. Just look for the white 95 white Ford truck with the animal specialist sticker on the door. Also, SERCC created an animal control hotline that residents can call- 1-800-CALLACS, and that will go live on October 1st.

Valley City High Revs Up Halftime

by Pullyn Mylegg

Valley City (VC) couldn’t sit back and do nothing after Valley Prep started doing drone shows during halftime of their home football games. VC doesn’t have the funds to do a drone show, so they had to think outside the box. Band Director, Ludwig Chopin, had to come up with something inexpensive and entertaining. After some brainstorming, he came up with a grandpa 40 yard dash race.

The 40 yard dash is the standard used to measure the speed of football players. Chopin is going to invite 10 grandfathers to participate during halftime, and it’s on a first come, first serve basis. They have to be at least 50 years of age, and they have to show a picture of a grandchild in order to participate. He also is going to have two flights: ages 50- 65 and 66 +.

They’ve had one race so far, and the fans absolutely loved it. Carl Lewis won the 50- 65 flight, which wasn’t much of a surprise. He’s 54 and in great shape, and he was a track and field star in high school. They only had one injury in that race; one 64 year old grandpa pulled a hamstring. And, they only had one grandpa that injured his pride by doing a major face plant which drew many ooo’s and ahh’s from the crowd.

Jesse Owens won the 66 + flight. It was very close, but he inched out a grandpa from the visiting team. The 66 + flight had 2 injuries. Jimmy Goforth tore his ACL, and Major Falls took a tumble and broke his wrist. Goforth said, “I was the fastest boy in my class in 6th grade. I had to get out there and show everybody that I still had it. Well, I don’t. I felt pretty good about my chances until they blew the whistle. I didn’t even get out of the starting gate without my knee buckling on me. I knew it wasn’t good.”

Major Falls tumbled face forward about halfway through the race, and he landed directly on his face. In trying to break his fall, he broke his wrist. Falls said, “Well, I broke my wrist, but my pride and my nose are hurt more than my wrist. I’ll be back to race again. Those old geezers better watch out!”

Chopin told me that multiple grandmothers approached him after the game saying they wanted to race also. So, Chopin will probably add a grandma’s race as well. These races are must watch, so VC hopes this will bring in more fans to their home games.

High-End Wine & Liquor Store Opening in The Valley

by I. B. Lyon

The Valley has its share of wine and liquor stores, but they’re all just run of the mill stores. Vino Hopps has decided to change that. He is opening a new store in Valley City called The Valley Wine & Liquor. Hopps hopes his unique, high-end store will attract people from around The Valley and the surrounding areas.

Hopps has always been a wine and liquor enthusiast. His mom is from Tuscany, and his dad hails from Kentucky. So, his family roots have definitely shaped his love of wine and liquor. He’s always wanted to open a store, but he didn’t have the funds to do so until recently.

The Valley Wine & Liquor is going to be chic and high end. It’s going to have a super nice tasting room. It will also have a humidor for cigar enthusiasts. In addition, it will have a bar area with large televisions for sports fans. Hopps will also have a charcuterie menu with high-end meats and cheeses to pair with his wines.

Rendering of chic wine tasting room

Hopps said, “I’m going to carry high-end wines from around the world. You name the region, and we’ll have them- Tuscany, South Africa, France, Spain, Napa Valley, Oregon, and even Mission Peninsula Michigan. I’m also going to carry high-end bourbons and tequilas including some very high-end small batch bourbons. There’s not going to be another store like mine anywhere in The Valley or the state.”

Another thing that will separate The Valley Wine & Liquor is that it will provide a separate parking area and display room for Baptists. Hopps said, “Baptists could be some of my best customers, but many won’t come in the store. Of course, you know the Methodists and Presbyterians won’t be ashamed to come in, but I decided to do something extra for the Baptists to entice them to visit the store. Their parking area behind the store has a fence that doesn’t allow people to see their vehicles, and people wanting to enter the Baptist room have to provide a recent bulletin from a Baptist church. This will allow the Baptists to feel safe at the store, and that was important to me.”

I talked with an anonymous deacon from First Baptist Valley City. He said, “I’m pretty excited about the new store. I get tired of driving to Jackson to get my wine and liquor. You gotta drive far enough away so you won’t run into anyone you know. Now, I won’t have to worry about that!”

The Valley Wine & Liquor plans to open its doors in a couple months. Many Valleyans, especially the Baptists, are excited about this unique, high-end store coming to the Valley.

Mack @ the Track: Season 1, Race 2 9/16/23

by Mack Speed

Howdy Valleyans! We had the second race of the Strong River Valley Mower Racing League (SRVMRL), and it was a great night. Again, we had a great raucous crowd; I think we had around 1,700 fans. I thought we had the parking issues fixed, but we still had some issues. A couple people got boxed in, and they were not happy about it. I thought we were going to have one of them ram into another vehicle on purpose, but it didn’t happen. My parking guys are teenagers, and I’m paying them $25 per night (cash). They’re gonna have to learn that they’re in control, and they have to tell people where to park. Otherwise, we have chaos.

People were tailgating again, and I really like to see that. My Ole Miss fans were back with their chandelier. They gave me some great food. This really creates a football-like atmosphere, and I think it’s a good thing.

Smoking and vaping is not allowed at the Valley Motor Speedway, but evidently people can’t read. I got multiple complaints from fans about people about smoking and vaping. People are pretty sneaky about hiding those vaping thingamajigs. I know we had some 11-12 year old kids vaping, and I’m sure they got it from their parents. Back in my day, kids that age would be chewing tobacco or dipping snuff. Now, they want to vape. America has gone downhill. I’ll do what I can do address this, but it’s going to be hard to stop.

We had 8 porta potties setup, and that seemed to alleviate the lines to use the bathroom. I got reports of little boys peeing out in the open, but we can tolerate that. As far as I know, we didn’t have anyone betting on races, so that’s a good thing. We have to stay vigilant about that.

The races were very good again. My son, Dale Earnhardt Speed, won the junior race again. He did have a little competition this race unlike the previous race. Again, I’ll be surprised if he loses a race. The main race was a good one again. Tony Johnson beat Jimmie Stewart by a hair. Those two were bumping and grinding the whole race; they’re going to have to do a lot of work on their mowers before the next race. Their wives had words, and they had to be separated. So, this rivalry looks like it’s going to be heated. The other racers need to make some significant changes in order to compete with these two guys.

Overall, the second race night was a success. I think we’re building something pretty special that people don’t want to miss. We’ll see you again on October 7th!

Strong River Bend High Starts Season Strong

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

The Strong River Bend (SRB) faithful didn’t have high expectations coming into the 2023 season. Despite that, they’ve gotten off to a hot start. They’re 4-0, and none of the games have been close. They’ve outscored their first 4 opponents by a margin of 202 to 20.

SRB’s coach, Jackie Mullen, implemented what he calls the Bulldozer offense. Mullen said, “Well you know, it’s an old school offense. It’s like watching football from the 70s or 80s. We don’t throw the ball. We simply run the ball down your throat, and we may you like it. I could tell this summer during three-a-days we had a chance to be pretty good.” I asked Coach Mullen if they will throw the ball any this year. He said, “Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and only one of them is good. No, we won’t throw it any. Load the box, we don’t care. We gonna run it. Mess with a bull, and you get the horns!”

In order to run an offense like the Bulldozer, you need good running backs, and SRB has two good ones. Herschel Campbell is the power back, and Barry Dickerson is the speed back. Quarterback, Wayne Wyatt has a pretty easy job; hand the ball to these 2 great backs. Both backs have ran for over 150 yards in each of the first 4 games, and they’ve combined to score 23 touchdowns thus far.

The Bulldozer offense is complemented by a great defense too. Defensive coordinator, Joe Lee Grantham, calls his defense the Maroon Blitzkrieg. Coach Grantham is super aggressive, and he blitzes at least one defender every play. Coach Grantham said, “We coming baby! We’re gonna blitz and hit you in the mouth, so you better be ready.”

I asked Coach Mullen if he thinks they can continue this pace. He said, “Well you know, I think we can. We got that dog in us. We have a way of demoralizing teams and just ripping their heart out. We’re going to continue to be relentless.” We’ll see if they can continue this torrid pace; SRB is going to be a tough out for any team this season.

SE Rankin Co. to Hire Animal Control Specialist

by Emma Embellischer

There has been a rash of animal control incidents recently in the Puckett and SE Rankin County area. Cows have been getting out regularly, and a beautiful white chicken has been running wild as well. There has been multiple issues with dogs as well. The residents of this area of The Valley have been up in arms; they have been posting vociferously in the Let’s Talk Puckett Facebook groups about the incidents. The area authorities felt is was tantamount to hire an animal control specialist to rectify the problems before things get out of control.

The SE Rankin County Commission (SERCC) along with the Town of Puckett has agreed to hire a part-time animal control specialist. The person will be paid $500 per month, and they will be on call 24/7. The position is not considered a law enforcement officer, but they will need to work and coordinate with law enforcement. The person will be provided a used truck, refurbished ipad, flip phone, along with other resources (no gun). Applicants that have canine, bovine, and poultry experience will be given the most consideration, and a college degree is not required but it’s desired.

A SERCC spokesperson said, “SE Rankin County has become ground zero for animal control incidents in The Valley and possibly the state of MS. We realized we had to do something about it. We monitor the area Facebook groups, and we felt some of the incidents could’ve really gotten out of hand.”

To apply for the position, applicants can go to www.sercc.gov, and click on Animal Control Specialist- Apply. SERCC is accepting applicants until September 22nd, and they plan to make the hire by September 29th, and the person will go to work on October 1st. SERCC will have a hotline for residents with an animal control issue to call- 1-800-CALLASC, and it will go live on October 1st.

The SERCC spokesperson also said, “Some have called this position a “dog catcher”, but that’s an insult. This position will need multiple skills in addition to dealing with animals; dispute resolution skills will very important as well as other relational skills. This person also needs to be level-headed and patient to deal with residents in tense situations.”

Residents of SE Rankin County and The Valley are glad this issue is being addressed. Hopefully, this will help maintain harmony in the community and tamp down the drama in the area Facebook groups, but time will tell.

Valley Prep Adds Drone Show to Halftime Festivities

by B. S. Ryter

Drone shows are becoming more and more popular. Many towns and organizations did drone shows during July 4th celebrations in addition to fireworks. It’s a new and novel thing that will probably continue to grow in popularity.

Valley Prep has a small band that performs during halftime, and they do a great job. But, Valley Prep’s band director, Holda Knote, wanted to shake things up. She saw a drone show at a July 4th celebration, and she thought that she needed to add one to their halftime show. Valley Prep has a great technology department, so she knew they had the brainpower to make it happen. She started a fundraising campaign to buy the drones and necessary equipment; the cost was around $20,000.

Knote said, “We needed two students to conduct the drone show, so we decided to have tryouts. Wow, it was super competitive. I had parents trying to bribe me with cash and vacations. So, I expect this to be one of the most coveted spots in any of our extra curricular activities going forward. Every kid in our technology department tried out, and we selected two super smart kids: Sun-Bae Moon and Bubba Singh.” Moon and Singh have been practicing with the band every day.

Moon and Singh will do a different show at each of Valley Prep’s home football games. Moon said, “We practice about 3 hours per day. We don’t want to let Ms. Knote down, and we want to uphold the standard of the Valley Prep Tech Department. It’s pretty grueling stuff. My GPA has suffered some since taking this on. I did have a 4.5, and now it’s down to a 4.3. I really hope it doesn’t hurt my chances to get into Harvard or MIT.”

Knote said, “We’re going to be the only school in the state and in The Valley with a halftime drone show, and we hope to set the standard just like everything else we do at Valley Prep. After all, our motto is “Set the Standard.” I expect Sun-Bae and Bubba to do well, but I won’t hesitate to replace them if the show is not up to my standard.”

Valley Prep students and fans can’t wait to see the drone shows at each home game. We expect other schools to add drone shows, but as usual, Valley Prep sets the standard.

Mack at The Track: Season 1, Race 1 9/4/23

by Mack Speed

Hello Valleyans and Happy Labor Day! Hopefully, you’re reading this sitting on your butt at home enjoying a day off work. The inaugural race of the Strong River Valley Mower Racing League (SRVMRL) at The Valley Motor Speedway was a success. However, it was pretty darn stressful for yours truly. We had a great crowd, but parking was a bit of an issue. My parking guys need a little training. We had people parking in every way imaginable, and we only had one physical altercation among a couple fans in the parking lot. So, that was a win; it could’ve been a lot worse.

We had around 1,500 fans, and they were a raucous bunch. We saw some Forrest and Hinds County tags, so we had people coming all the way from Hattiesburg and Jackson. But, the vast majority of the fans were Valleyans. We don’t have a grandstand or bleachers, so everyone sat in lawn chairs. Some were tailgating; they setup tents and were grilling. One tent even had a chandelier; they were probably Ole Miss fans. We had a lot of kids there, so that’s a good thing. I want the races to be family friendly.

We also had a bathroom issue. We had 6 porta potties setup, so we’ll probably need to get a few more. We had multiple kids that ended up peeing in public because they couldn’t wait in line. One porta potty was put of work because a very large man lost his balance while inside, and he caused it to fall on its side. Let’s just say that poor guy will probably never show his face in public again. I don’t know who cleaned that thing out, but God bless them.

I know we had fans betting on races. We don’t have a licensed sportsbook, so that was illegal. We’ll address this at the next race; we’ll have up signs letting people know betting is not allowed.

We had some good races. Dale Earnhardt Speed, my son, won the junior race. I doubt he loses a race this season. He’s mine, so you know that boy can race. The main race was a really good one. Jimmie Stewart won, and he beat Tony Johnson by a hair. It was really a two man race the entire race; they were going back and forth the whole race. There was a lot of bumping and grinding going on between those two. I foresee those two having one heck of a rivalry. The other racers are going to have to work on their mowers quite a bit to get them to Stewart and Johnson’s level.

Overall, our first race night went well. We have a few kinks to work out, but we’ll get them fixed. We look forward to many more. Valleyans, y’all come out to the races on the 3rd Saturday night!