by Ima Phibber

Good things are happening in The Valley and in Strong River Bend (SRB). People have been watching the construction of the new shopping center in SRB for some time, and it finally opened this Monday. Strong River Bend Commons opened to much fanfare, and the parking lot has been packed with cars.

Strong River Bend Commons aka The Commons is not a large development; it only contains 3 tenants. But, it’s going to house three exciting businesses. The Commons was the brainchild of Valley entrepreneur Bubba Binness. Binness said, “I’ve been wanting to build a premier commercial development in SRB for quite a while, and I’ve finally got it done. I had all 3 suites occupied well before the building was completed. I think the people of SRB are really going to enjoy The Commons, and the businesses are going to be a great service to our community.”

The center tenant is a vape shop- Visionary Vapes. On one end is a nutrition shop- SRB Nutrition, and the other end is a liquor store- Valley View Liquor. SRB Nutrition will have loaded teas, energy drinks, and other drinks. People have been flocking to The Commons this week to check out these new businesses. I was able to speak to multiple members of the community, and I got some mixed feelings.

One lady said, “I’m so pumped about this. I can start at SRB Nutrition with my favorite loaded tea, then I can go over to the vape shop and get my refills, and I can finish up at the liquor store. What else could a person need? I’m excited, and I’m gonna be hangin out at The Commons a lot.”

An older gentleman said, “This is an embarrassment. How did the board of aldermen approve this? We really need a vape shop and a liquor store around here! As a believer and a Baptist, I am appalled. Couldn’t they have put something else there? Maybe a Subway? I know it cost an arm a leg to eat there now, but come on! I doubt you’ll see me at The Commons.”

by Offe Hisczrocher

Valley County is always on the cutting edge. They don’t mind standing out from the crowd and trying new things. One example is the county voting to make daylight saving time permanent in 2024. You can read our story about that HERE. Now, they’re going to do something that no other county in the US has done. They’re going to allow Valley County residents to add emojis to their vehicle tags.

Tags with emojis will be considered personalized tags. Vehicle owners that choose to add an emoji to their tag will be charged an additional $10 per emoji in addition to the normal personalized tag fee. A maximum of 3 emojis can be added to a tag. The county looks to generate thousands in additional revenue by offering this to Valley County residents.

Valley County Tax Collector Zack Keyus said, “A person in our office suggested offering emojis on our car tags a while back. We all laughed and thought it was funny. But, I began to think about it, and I realized this would probably be popular with our taxpayers. And, it could potentially generate thousands in additional revenue for the county, and it would give us some good publicity. I presented it to the county at our monthly meeting a few months ago, and they approved it. We’ve been working out the details since, and here we are. We’re excited about it.”

Again, only 3 emojis max will be allowed per tag. Also, no inappropriate emojis will be allowed. One issue that arose is with law enforcement. How do they run car tags with emojis? How will law enforcement, dispatchers, and citizens be on the same page when reporting crime and running tags? All law enforcement officers in Valley County met with the Keyus to discuss any issues. Keyus provided all law enforcement agencies with emoji cheat sheets to identify all the allowed emojis, so that should help with any confusion.

I was able to speak to multiple Valley County residents about the county allowing emojis on vehicle tags, and I got mixed feelings. One older gentleman said, “This is a joke right? I just learned how to text last year, and I don’t even know how to use emojis. I still use correct punctuation when I text. I have to call my kids and grandkids all the time trying to decipher their text messages when they use emojis and that lol, idk, ttyl crap. I guess things are just passing me by, but I don’t like this emoji stuff.”

One young lady said, “This is so cool! I can’t wait to get a new tag. I’m definitely getting 3 emojis on my tag. I told my friend in another county about it, and she was so jealous. But, how am I going to choose what 3 emojis I want? That’s going to be tough.”

It will interesting to see the emoji tags and how people will use them to express themselves. Will other counties across the state follow Valley County’s lead and offer them? If they generate a lot of additional revenue, you can bet they will.

by Heeza de Seaver

The SRVTI was back in the lab this week. They read our story last week about the couple that had a domestic dispute at McDonald’s because they couldn’t decide on a place to eat. This is very common issue with couples and families, so the SRVTI decided to create an app to solve the issue- Grub Roulette.

GRUB ROULETTE SITE

Grub Roulette will allow you to add up to 7 restaurants based on your location. Then, it will spin a wheel and make the dining decision for you. Of course, someone in the family may not like the selected restaurant, but Grub Roulette made the decision for you. So, there’s no person to blame.

The SRVTI is all about solving problems for everyday Valleyans, and they feel Grub Roulette will do that. I can’t wait to see their next creation.

by I. B. Lyon

The Valley City Police Dept. (VCPD) was called to McDonald’s on Tuesday evening at approximately 7:25 pm. A McDonald’s employee called the police after observing a couple in the midst of a domestic dispute while in the drive through. A McDonald’s customer also called the police after seeing the couple fighting. It was an unfortunate event, but I’m sure most of you will be able to sympathize with the couple.

The police arrived at approximately 7:28 pm. The couple was sitting in their car in the parking lot. Two VCPD officers approached the car, and they talked with the husband and wife separately. After the discussions, no charges were filed. VCPD has promised not to release the identities of the couple. However, I was able to get a statement from the VCPD about the situation. Many are speculating that is was a prominent well-known couple in Valley County, but I haven’t been able to confirm that.

The VCPD spokesperson stated, “The couple was involved in a domestic dispute that did not turn physical, but it got very heated. The couple was getting along great earlier in the evening, and they decided to go out to eat. They could not decide on a place to eat, and they went back and forth for about 30 minutes. The wife stated multiple times that she didn’t care where they ate, but she shot down all the husband’s suggestions. They both became more agitated as the minutes passed by. Finally, the husband decided they would just go through the drive-thru at McDonald’s. The wife did not respond well to that, and all hell broke loose.”

Fortunately, my wife and I have a policy that would’ve avoided this issue. If we can’t decide where to eat after 5 minutes, then we go to Waffle House. This is something I’d recommend for every couple. We have a similar policy in regards to Netflix. In the past, it would take us 30 minutes to decide what to watch, and we’d end up not watching anything and just scrolling on our phones. So, we decided that if we can’t agree on a show or movie after 5 minutes, then we have to watch Gunsmoke.

Thankfully, this domestic situation did not turn violent, and it’s probably best that we never know the couple’s identity. All couples have arguments, and they sometimes get pretty heated. The VCPD spokesperson also said the McDonald’s ice cream machine wasn’t working, so that set the wife off even more. The husband should’ve drove to Sonic or Dairy Queen.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Big Billy’s Sporting Goods created the Big Buck Battle 14 years ago. It’s a been a sought-after prize for Valley deer hunters since day one. The prizes have gotten better year after year. This year’s winner gets a free wall mount, a $1,500 shopping spree at Big Billy’s, their picture on the famous Big Billy’s Wall of Fame, along with bragging rights and Valley-wide fame.

The competition has a long list of rules that are posted online and on Big Billy’s Facebook page. The Big Buck Battle does not require antlers to dry for 60 days like many competitions. The buck has to be harvested in Valley County. The most important rule requires the buck to be scored by an Official Measurer (OM) at Big Billy’s. Evidently, that wasn’t done with this year’s winner.

The winner was announced this Tues., Feb. 24th, but things got crazy just after the winner was announced. Bishop Sycamore was the winner. Big Billy’s posted a picture of Sycamore with his massive buck and its score on their social media pages to congratulate him. But, followers quickly sounded the alarm. One person posted, “This seems real fishy”, and another posted “Something ain’t right here.”

Multiple people on Facebook commented that they didn’t know the identity of Bishop Sycamore. No one went to school with him, and no one was in a hunting club with him. It was a mystery, no one recognized him.

I reached out to Big Billy’s to get an explanation. Store manager Bubba Broadside said, “Well, I think we’ve been had. It’s a long story, but I’ll give you the short version. Mr. Sycamore came by the store when our OM was out sick, and we took his name and number to call him back. Our OM called him back, but Mr. Sycamore said he was out of town and would be for weeks. He said he was going to miss the deadline for submission. Our OM told him to text him multiple pics of him and his deer, and he did. Our OM analyzed the pictures, and he determined that he was the winner. Our OM said something seemed a little off when he talked with Mr. Sycamore about getting his wall mount, and he said he didn’t want one.”

Mr. Sycamore came by last week to claim his prizes. He furnished what appeared to be a valid driver’s license when asked for identification. He claimed his $1,500 in merch from Big Billy’s, and they hung his picture on the wall of fame while he was there. The OM was not there when Mr. Sycamore came in to claim his prizes. However, a suspicious Big Billy’s employee managed to snag a picture of Mr. Sycamore’s license.

Big Billy’s asked the Valley County Sheriff’s Department to analyze the license, and they determined that it was counterfeit. Store manager Bubba Broadside said, “Gosh, that was a gut punch when they told us that. This punk got us. He probably never killed the deer, and he probably did the pictures using AI. He’ll probably sell the merch to make some money. We’ve taken Mr. Sycamore’s picture off the wall of fame. We’re going to contact the #2 finisher, and let them know that they’re the rightful winner. We learned a hard lesson with this episode. Trust but verify and then verify again.”

What’s wrong with people? Big Billy’s lost out on $1,500 of merch, but they didn’t have to do a wall mount. This “Bishop Sycamore” guy obviously lives outside Valley County, and he spent a lot of time and effort to cheat. But, remember kids, cheaters never win! The Valley County Sheriff’s Dept. is on the lookout for Sycamore, so call them with any tips or leads.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

College athletics has gotten crazy. Name, image, and likeness (NIL) has given college athletes the opportunity to legally get paid. Many college football and basketball players are getting paid 7 figures, and it’s taken the amateurism out of both sports. In addition to the obscene NIL deals, you also have the transfer portal. Players can transfer to another school basically at will. Everyone is a free agent open to the highest bidder. It’s turned into the Wild West, and now you can add more thing to the madness.

A male pro basketball player named Charles Bediako who was playing in the G League came back to Alabama to play, but he was ruled ineligible after playing 5 games for the Crimson Tide. Another pro basketball player named Amari Bailey is fighting to be able to come back and play college basketball, and Bailey actually played in NBA games. This is insane, but the NCAA is powerless to stop it. I’m sure there will be more to come until legislation is passed or the conferences ban it.

This issue has now popped up in high school in The Valley. Former Strong River Bend (SRB) High baseball player, Sammy Bonds, just got an emergency stay yesterday by the Valley County courts that will allow him to play with the SRB High baseball team this season. River Hills High School, SRB’s biggest rival, filed a lawsuit to keep Bonds from playing for SRB High this year, but Bonds was granted an emergency stay that will allow him to play. Bonds is 20 years old, and he graduated from SRB 2 years ago. Bonds played one year at Valley State Community College, but he left college after one year to work in his family’s business.

SRB High baseball coach Sparky Granderson said, “Sammy is a great man, I mean kid. We’re glad to have him back with us for the season. He wasn’t able to play his sophomore year in high school because he got mono, so it’s only fair that he gets an extra season. River Hills is just upset because they know Sammy is a great pitcher, and his addition makes us the favorite to win the district. I don’t make the rules; I just try to abide by them. The court ruled him eligible, so there you go.”

Just about everyone except the SRB faithful is unhappy about Bonds’ eligibility. One local high school baseball coach said, “This is just stupid. SRB’s principal could stop this, Coach Granderson can stop it. But, all they care about is winning. So, the judge has a son on the baseball team at SRB, and it just so happens the stay expires when baseball season is over. How convenient! You shouldn’t be able to play in high school after you’ve already played college ball and you’re 20 freakin years old. It’s retarded!”

A River Hills parent said, “So, my son has to play against a grown man now? Really!? Imagine if this was football; I’m sure it’ll happen in football next year. This has to stop! I guess we’re gonna have to bring back one of our studs from a few years ago. I guess we just need to find a judge to side with us. That dude is going to get booed so bad when they play at River Hills. It’s gonna be worse than when Lane Kiffin and LSU play in Oxford this fall!”

This all seems insane, but all you need is a sympathetic judge to sign off on it. This trend will more than likely continue until legislation is passed. It didn’t pass this year, but wait until school choice passes! It’s going to be the Wild West on steroids.

by Emma Embellischer

The Valley Women’s Coalition (VWC) is a non-profit based in Valley City that has been fighting for women’s rights for 20 years. They’ve taken up many causes over those twenty years. Most of their organizing has been for left-leaning causes, so they’re not the most popular organization in the very conservative Strong River Valley. Their latest cause is not going to help their popularity either.

It’s Mardi Gras season right now in Louisiana and in many of the surrounding areas including The Valley, and one of the great things about Mardi Gras is the king cake. King cakes originated in France in the 12th century, and they became a thing in New Orleans and Mardi Gras in the late 1800s. There are many bakeries in New Orleans, all over Louisiana, and in south Mississippi that are known far and wide for their delicious king cakes. You see them everywhere this time of year, and they come in many different types and flavors.

The VWC has had enough of the king cake patriarchy, and they want to rename it to the queen cake. VWC President Suzie B. Anthony said, “We all know American society is dominated by males. The patriarchy and sexism is over-bearing, and the VWC is going to do something about it. Our vernacular is an easy and painless way to make strides. Most king cakes are made by women and their blood, sweat, and tears. It’s time we call them by their rightful name- queen cake. We know there are already queen cakes associated with Mardi Gras, but most people have never heard about them. It’s queen cake from now on. Urge everyone you see to call them queen cakes. It’ll take a while, but we hope to change the vernacular and rectify this issue.”

The VWC has organized a march in downtown Valley City this evening at 6:00 to promote their cause. The ladies will be dressed in purple, green, and pink. They will also be selling purple, green, and pink queen cakes to raise money for their cause. The traditional Mardi Gras colors of purple, green, and gold symbolize justice (purple), faith (green), and power (yellow). VWC is substituting pink for yellow, and the pink is supposed to symbolize female empowerment. Also, their queen cakes will have a small crown inside them instead of a baby.

I talked to some Valley City residents about the VWC’s latest crusade, and everyone I talked with is not on board. One lady said, “Those women are crazy! They’re all single or divorced liberals, and they’re angry all the time. Nobody is going to start calling king cakes queen cakes. It’s just retarded, and they’re wasting their breath and time. Losers!”

A male Valley City resident said, “This is so lame! These idiots obviously don’t know the history of the king cake. I hope you’re not going to cover their “march” tonight, because they’ll probably have about 9 crazy women there. Those women need to swallow their pride, get some joy in their lives, and try to find a man. They belong in the home- cooking and cleaning. This “cause” will go nowhere just like all their other ones. So sad.”

It seems like the VWC has an uphill battle with their queen cake crusade. We’ll see if queen cake takes hold, but I have my doubts. The SRVO will not be covering their march tonight, so follow the VWC’s Facebook page for any updates.

by Offe Hisczrocher

We all love to see economic growth in and around The Valley, but it comes with a price. A big issue with economic growth is more traffic. No one likes traffic, and people become impatient with it. If you’ve noticed lately, people seem to think stopping at traffic or stop lights is optional. That is unsafe, and Valley City has decided to do something about it.

Valley City Police Chief Andy Fife said, “We’ve written quite a few citations lately for people running red lights in Valley City. It’s helping stuff the city’s coffers, but it’s not safe. We’ve had one accident recently because of it, and plenty of close calls. I talked with the mayor about what we could do to stop it. Initially, I just thought we could do a Facebook post telling people that we’re gonna really start clamping down on it, so they better stop it. Then, I came up with the idea of putting large signs by the stop lights. We’re gonna give a try and see how it works.”

Chief Fife’s idea was to attach large signs under the traffic lights that read “RED MEANS STOP.” The city has ordered the signs, and they should be put up by the end of next week.

Mayor Ronald Bush said, “We only have 4 traffic lights in our great city, but this is a real problem. I’m hoping these new signs will help curb the issue. If this doesn’t work, we’ll look into installing cameras. I don’t want to do that, because I know that’ll cause a firestorm. Plus, that would probably hurt my reelection chances, but I have to lookout for the safety of our motorists.”

Valley City residents aren’t optimistic the new signs will make a difference. One person said, “These signs are a waste of money. They’re gonna make people want to run red lights even more. You know how people are these days. They’re just plain crazy! Unfortunately, I don’t think it’ll help.”

Another Valley City resident said, “Something needs to be done, but I’m not sure the signs will help. The other day, I had a green light to go straight, but the morons turning left in front of me got caught in the middle of the intersection. I couldn’t go even though I had a green light, and it turned red before I could go. I was so mad. I laid down on my horn and gave them the finger. That’s happened to me more than once. I just don’t think the signs will help.”

Time will tell if the new signs will curb motorists from running red lights in Valley City. Any bets on how long it will take before someone shoots one with a shotgun? I’ll set the over/under at 13 days.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

U.S. soccer fans are excited about the 2026 Men’s World Cup. The U.S. National Team is guaranteed to qualify since we’re hosting, and they’re poised for another letdown in the group stage. The U.S., Canada, and Mexico are the host countries, and many of the games will be played in the U.S. The games will be played in large U.S. cities like Seattle, New York, Los Angeles, and Boston. However, FIFA has to choose a few alternate sites in case of a natural disaster, riots, or other unforeseen events.

FIFA announced on Monday that Jackson, MS and Veterans Memorial Stadium (The Vet) was chosen as an alternate site. FIFA spokesperson Jean Claude St. Pierre said, “We are pleased to announce Jackson, MS and their historic iconic stadium as alternate site. It’s hosted many incredible high school and college football games, many historic events such as the Billy Graham Crusade in 1975, and even ESPN’s College Gameday in 2022. World Cup soccer fixtures could be added to the list.”

It’s very unlikely any games will be played at Veterans Memorial Stadium, but the stadium’s crew will have to make preparations just in case they’re called on.

Mississippi Soccer Federation (MSF) President Pele Mbappe said, “MS soccer fans would love to host a World Cup game at The Vet. That would be epic. We gotta be ready. You never know when they may have an earthquake in Los Angeles or Seattle. We’re going to help the crew at The Vet prepare just in case.”

Mississippians are surprised by The Vet being chosen as an alternate site. One man said, “I’ve seen some awesome games at that place. I’ve seen Egg Bowls, Ross Barnett, Bear Bryant, Coach Prime and more. But, Veterans Memorial Stadium?! Really?! They better have a lot of security on stand by. And, who would be playing? Cape Verde and Belgium or Czechoslovakia and Paraguay? I know we wouldn’t get the U.S. team. FIFA obviously didn’t do their homework.”

Another person said, “I had to Google the World Cup because I didn’t know what it was. I thought it was some kind of car race. Why do they call their games fixtures? I guess it would be cool to host a game here. I doubt I would go because I really don’t know anything about soccer. I think it’s a Communist sport.”

Again, it’s highly unlikely we’ll host a World Cup match, but you never know.

by Ima Phibber

The Valley Cable Company (VCC) has been around for 42 years, but they have really struggled recently. Just about everyone has cut the cord and gone to streaming, and it has really hurt VCC. Even though it seems everyone is cutting the cord and streaming these day, it’s not without some issues. The main issues with streaming and cutting the cord are the cost and fragmentation. We were told it was going to be much cheaper and better. Now, it seems we all pay for 5 plus streaming platforms, and it has gotten expensive. And, we have difficulties being able to watch what we want to watch.

VCC CEO Larry Kabelgye said, “We were about to shut the doors of VCC for good. We’ve been struggling for a while now; we were down to just a couple hundred subscribers. Most of them are old folks that don’t know anything about streaming. We were running with a skeleton crew of only 3 loyal employees. But, these streaming companies got greedy. People are now spending much more on multiple streaming platforms than they were spending on cable 15 years ago. Family budgets are tight, and they’re looking to save money. We ran a last-ditch ad campaign to try to attract more subscribers, and it worked. It saved our company.”

VCC’s ad campaign is called “Reconnect the Cord.” They ran the ads on Facebook, Instagram, Roku TV, the radio, and the local newspaper. Kabelgye said, “Facebook messages and calls started coming in immediately after the ad campaign started. We knew that we were onto something. It’s like people had forgotten about cable, but I guess some young folks have never had cable. The price of $54.99 per month is the main draw; it’s not our lineup of 33 channels.”

The recent uptick in business has forced to VCC to have to hire three new technicians and one new office worker, and the company now has positive cash flow. It’s amazing to see a dead-in-the-water old company to have a resurgence like they have. They think they can continue this growth for months to come as streaming gets more costly and fragmented.

VCC only has one basic package for $54.99 per month, and it includes all the local channels and the major channels like ESPN, FoxNews, and more. The simplicity and low cost is a big draw.

One new customer said, “I didn’t know that I was paying for 9 streaming services, and I really only watch a couple- Netflix and Hulu. All these streaming services were costing me $155 per month. I’m gonna keep Netflix, but I’m gonna get rid of all the others. I’m gonna be able to save about $85 per month by going back to cable. Plus, I only watch FoxNews and ESPN anyway. I gotta watch my ball games, Laura, and Sean, so I really don’t need all the other channels.”

Kabelgye added, “This growth is crazy. I thought we were done; I thought you could stick a fork in us. I was looking into getting a job with Doordash or Wal-Mart, but now we’ve been able to increase my pay some with all the new business. We’re looking forward to the continued growth.”

This is a great turnaround story, but it unfortunately it ends on a sour note. Starting next month, VCC will be increasing their monthly rate to $59.99. Kabelgye said he hates to do it, but it needed to be done. He promised subscribers won’t see another increase in 2026.